Speaking of health and fitness...
Oh, merciful God!
What did you have...
I had half a grapefruit!
Really?
You think I'm lying?
No.
Okay.
Yes.
“20 Hours in America, Part I” · Season 4
In this episode: Josh Lyman (3), Toby Ziegler (2), Sam Seaborn (2), Josiah Bartlet (1), Leo McGarry (1), Donna Moss (1), Margaret Hooper (1), Ginger (1)
[on his answering machine] Hi, it's Sam. I'm going to sleep now for a little bit, but if you really need me just yell really loud and I'll probably wake up.
SAM!!!
Do we have some sort of condensed... Reader's Digest index... of, well... all human knowledge?
We usually just use Margaret.
C.J.: We've got a new addition to our running list of things Robert Ritchie's not. Speaking this morning at the Philadelphia Financial Council, the Governor said, "I'm no scientist but I know a thing or two about physics." So for the week you can add scientist to doctor, mind reader, and Chinese.
Toby Ziegler. I work at the White House.
G1Girl 1
Wow. Humongous whoop.
Come on! He's Communications Director. It's a decent sized whoop.
G2Girl 2
How many unborn babies did you guys kill today?
Whoa, hey. Danger, Will Robinson.
There's a guy down here holding a sign that says, "Eight more years." Don't get me wrong, I like your thinking, but I've probably tested the Constitution about as far as Abbey's going to allow me to for a little while. [Crowd cheers and applauds.] You know the story about the guy whose car gets stuck in a muddy hole? A farmer comes along and says he'll pull the car out of the mud but he's going to have to charge 50 bucks 'cause this is the tenth time he's had to pull one out of the mud today. The driver says, "God, when do you have time to plow your land, at night?" The farmer says, "No, no. Nighttime is when I fill the hole with water." [Crowd laughs.] We need to find energy alternatives. We're getting our cue. We're getting it right now. The Republicans are busy. They're trying to convince us that they care about new energy and that they're not in the vest pockets of big oil, and that's a tough sell. I don't envy them, 'cause their only hope is that we don't notice that they're the ones who are filling the hole with water every night, and I think Americans are smarter than that. I think we noticed.
Excuse me. I'm so sorry to interrupt in what obviously is a private moment between the two of you and your... two friends. We came in this morning...
G2Girl 2
We know who you are. We're not rednecks.
Okay. Well, I'm Donna Moss and this is my boss.
Josh Lyman.
Toby Ziegler.
Anyway, we're very crunched for time and we think that you...
I work at the White House.
G1Girl 1
Wow. Humongous whoop.
Come on! He's Communications Director. It's a decent sized whoop.
G2Girl 2
How many unborn babies did you guys kill today?
Whoa, hey. Danger, Will Robinson. Tyler, no fooling around. We've got 15 minutes to get to a plane that is 3 miles from here. That plane-- I swear to God-- is taking off at 1:00.
TTyler
It's taking off at 1:00?
Yes, it is.
KKiki
Are you guys stupid or something? It's 1:45 right now.
It's 12:45.
KKiki
No, not here it's not.
Oh, my God, she's right.
TTyler
See, we crossed over from Unionville to Dearborn County which doesn't observe Daylight saving time.
KKiki
I think it's the other way around, genius.
TTyler
What did I ever do to you?
It says on the schedule, "All times are local." This is why I couldn't get anyone on their cell.
Wait. Wait. No. No. You're not... We changed time zones? We changed time... We changed time zones?!
TTyler
It's a-a common mistake.
Not for the U.S. government!
What kind of schmuck-ass system could this possibly...
That's good! That's perfect!
How did...? I don't understand.
Perfect. Just the break I'm looking for.
What do...? What do...? People, they just... They reset their watches when they commute?
I can't take working here.
They just change their watches every time they cross a time zone? What is this, a joke?!
Serving my country.
Okay, this is a whole new thing now. My guys are going to need to walk this off a bit before they can regroup. Kiki, you and your friends get back to school. Tyler, you and I are going to come up with a plan to get us to a commercial airport.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.