Mr. President?
I'll take the Indian ambassador in the Oval Office.
Yes, sir.
And then if you could just ask the Secret Service to step in and kill me, please.
Yes, sir.
“Lord John Marbury” · Season 1
In this episode: Josiah Bartlet (6), Leo McGarry (3), Charlie Young (3), Josh Lyman (2), Toby Ziegler (1), C.J. Cregg (1), Sam Seaborn (1), Mrs. Landingham (1)
It's what I do now; I'm a professional hostile witness.
How are you, Josh?
I've been subpoenaed.
Oh, I'm sorry, dear. Would you like a cookie?
[on Marbury] You're really gonna let him loose in the White House, where there's liquor and women?
We can hide the women. But the man deserves a drink.
Thank you for coming. How was your flight?
Intoxicating.
So I see.
[to Leo] Allow me to present myself...Lord John Marbury, I was summoned by your President.
Yes. We've met, 10 or 12 times. I'm Leo McGarry.
I thought you were the butler.
No, I'm the White House Chief of Staff.
Nonetheless, would you have something with which to light my cigarette?
No, I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in this part of the world.
Really? In this part over here we encourage it!
There's an India expert I want to bring in.
Who?
[Bartlet looks at him pointedly.]
No.
You guys are gonna love him.
He's a lunatic!
He's colorful.
He's certifiable!
Who?
Lord John Marbury, former ambassador to New Delhi from the Court of Saint James.
Where do we find him?
A psychiatric institution.
He's colorful, Leo.
You're really gonna let him loose in the White House, where there's liquor and women?
We can hide the women. But the man deserves a drink.
I was warned that coming to talk to you might be insulting to your professionalism.
Well, you wouldn't want to do that.
I wasn't ready for the press yet.
Could've told me that before sending me in there.
C.J.
I flatly denied it. I said I was in the Oval Office ten minutes ago and nothing's going on.
They don't think you lied to them.
I know that. They think you lied to me, which is what happened. They don't know me. I'm from nowhere. I was just starting to get credible. I was just starting to get their respect. You know how long it's going to take me to get it back?
There's a concern.
Don't ask C.J.; she doesn't know anything.
There is a concern that you're too friendly with the press.
Really.
We know it's important that you have a friendly relationship with them...
It's important for all of us.
I don't disagree.
Does this have to do with Danny Concannon?
People see you with Danny.
This is outrageous.
This is one time, and if we erred, it's on the side of trying to...
You sent me in there uninformed so that I'd lie to the press.
We sent you in there uninformed because we thought there was a chance you couldn't.
Mr. President, I was wondering if I could ask you a question.
Sure.
I was wondering how you would feel about my going out on a date with Zoey.
I'm sorry?
Well, Zoey was talking to me before, and she mentioned that if I had a free night...
My daughter asked you out?
Yes, sir.
I should've locked her in the dungeon.
I don't think you've got one, sir.
I could've built one.
Say, listen. My hesitation about your going out with Zoey before, you know, it's not 'cause you're black.
I didn't think it was.
It's not.
I thought it was 'cause I'm a guy.
It is.
I understand.
Still, I want you to go out with her if that's what you both want to do.
I'd like to.
That's fine.
Thank you, sir.
Just remember these two things: She's nineteen years old, and the 82nd Airborne works for me.
Yes sir.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The West Wing pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.