Dr. Keyworth quotes from The West Wing

Use me, don't use me, but all I can offer you is this: I'll be the only person in the world, other than your family, who doesn't care that you're the President. Our time is up.

We're from ATVA.

Josh

Yeah.

That's the American Trauma Victims Association.

Josh

Yeah.

We're commonly called in by the government to work with trauma victims. I'll give you some examples. The pipe bomb at Lancaster Middle School. We worked with the parents and the kids...

Josh

[interrupts] Tulsa, Hurricane Beth, the Chatham fires, the Iowa tornadoes, the FBI raid in Rock Creek.

So, you are familiar with us?

Josh

Dr. Keyworth, I'm the Deputy White House Chief of Staff. I oversee 1100 White House employees. I answer directly to Leo McGarry and the President of the United States. Do you think you're talking to the paperboy?

No.

Josh

In your wildest dreams did you imagine that I'd walk in this room without knowing exactly who you are and what you do?

No.

Josh

Then why did you lie to me right off the bat?

Josh...

Josh

[indicating Kaytha] She's not here training!

As a matter of fact, she is.

Josh

I read briefing books every day on subjects considerably more complicated than ATVA.

She is here training in trauma therapy.

Josh

Yeah, but that's not why there are two of you.

No.

Josh

That's not the reason why there are two of you.

No.

Josh

I get up, go to the bathroom, go to my office, answer the phone -- one of you watches me.

Yeah.

Josh

Stanley, you got off to a bad start.

Yes, I did.

Josh

Yes, you did.

Let's start again.

Josh

You gonna lie to me this time?

No. You gonna lie to me?

Josh

Haven't yet.

Really?

Josh

Yeah.

How did you cut your hand? [pause] You're not talking to the paperboy, either, Josh.

Josh

Stanley, you can ask the questions and you can answer them, but you can't do both at the same time.

Yes, I can.

Josh

Why?

Because I know the answers, and I don't work for you.

Josh

Is there gonna be a...

How'd you cut your hand?

Josh

Stanley...

Nah, how'd you do it?

Josh

I put a glass down.

Yeah, I don't think you did.

Josh

Stanley, I got home from the thing, I made a drink, I sat down, I pushed the magazine aside to use as a coaster, and I missed the coaster.

You missed the coaster with quite a bit of force.

Josh

I work out when I can.

I swear, I am completely unimpressed with clever answers.

Josh

And I was so hoping we'd have a second date.

[pause] You're in nine kinds of pain. You don't even know what's going on inside of you. And you are so locked into damage control that you can't...

Josh

You diagnosed me in eight hours?

Josh, I diagnosed you in five minutes.

Josh

Why would the music have started it?

Well, I know it's going to sound like I'm telling you that two plus two equals a bushel of potatoes, but at this moment, in your head, music is the same thing as...

Josh

...as sirens. So that's going to be my reaction every time I hear music?

No.

Josh

Why not?

Because... we get better.

Josh

All the same, I need some more therapy.

Oh, you're gonna get some.

Josh

I mean now.

Merry Christmas, Josh.

Josh

We can order a pizza!

[laughs] Have a good night.

Josh

Stanley, I haven't told you my dreams yet!

Fax 'em over to me.

Josh

Merry Christmas.

Bartlet

Well, I guess we talked about a lot of things: who we think the Republican challenger is gonna be, and incumbency, and campaign strategy - strategic overview, but the long and short of it is, my father never liked me, at all. [long pause]

Well, at least we're closer to my area now.

Bartlet

Yeah, I thought you'd enjoy that.

Mr. President...If you were any other patient...

Bartlet

Say what you'd say to any other patient.

I'd say, screw around if you want, but it's your money, it's about to be my money, and I sleep fine.

They keep moving the goalpost on you, don't they? Get A's, good college, Latin honors. Get into the London School of Economics. Get a good teaching job. Ivy League school, tenure. Now you gotta publish, now you gotta go to Stockholm.

Bartlet

It's not good for a person to keep setting goals?

It probably is, but it's tricky for somebody who's still trying to get his father to stop hitting him.

Bartlet

Well, I'm told that most men lead lives of quiet desperation.

Yeah, but that's most men. That's not you. That's the other people, the ones who feel stress. You're destined for something else.

Bartlet

I have abilities.

And now you have an opportunity to use them.

Bartlet

I think I have.

That room I passed down the hall, on the left, it's got a name, right?

Bartlet

I think you're talking about the Lincoln Bedroom.

Right. This is a hell of a curve you get graded on now. Lincoln freed the slaves and won the Civil War. "Thank you. Next! And what will you be singing for us today, Mr. Bartlet?" "Well, we've had six straight quarters of economic growth."

Bartlet

That's not easy.

Okay.

Bartlet

It's not easy.

I believe you.

Bartlet

I think I've made tough choices.

I think Lincoln did what he thought was right, even though it meant losing half the country. I think you don't do what you think is right if it means losing Michigan's electoral votes.

Bartlet

You don't know anything.

I'll be the first to admit that.

Bartlet

I'm not trying to get my father to like me.

Good. 'Cause it's never, never gonna happen. Look, we're done for the night.

Bartlet

What?

We've been here for two hours. It was a double session. We're done for the night.

Bartlet

Stanley, I hate to put it this way, but I'm me, and you're you, and we're done when I say we're done.

No. [pause] I think you could use some assistance right now, sir. Use me, don't use me, but all I can offer you is this: I'll be the only person in the world, other than your family, who doesn't care that you're the President. [pause] Our time is up.