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The Vampire Diaries quotes

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The Vampire Diaries

All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

You hate junk food. You call it toxic poison.

Yeah? Well, I've decided to live a little. Now may I be excused, scary vampire daughter?

You've been avoiding me, I don't like it.

clearly.

We had a moment you and i, there was a bond. and then nothing. You abandoned me all over again.

Okay. first of all, i never abandoned you, you were snatched out of my arms at birth because my father thought i was a knocked up shameful slut. and second of all, it's been 500 years, do we really have to do this whole mother-daughter bonding thing? the estrangement is so much easier, don't you think?

sorry to Interrupt the world's weirdest lunch, [to Katherine] but you with the Doppelgänger blood, duty calls.

wonderful, now that Katherine is a human and fragile, everyone thinks that they can just boss her around.

Look, I thought that killing Silas would allow me to move on with my life, but I was wrong. I spent my summer locked in a safe. One minute, I think I'm fine, the next minute I feel like I'm dying all over again.

Oh. Classic PTSD. You survived a pretty traumatic event, and now you're back, and you've got nothing but free time to just relive that terrible experience in the safe. Well, allow me to give your life a purpose. Help me with one little favor.

Should have known this was gonna come around to you needing something from me.

I'm just trying to help. What would I know about post-traumatic stress? I only had my newborn ripped from my arms by my judgmental father ,and then had to run 500 years after my entire family had been slaughtered by a psychopath. But hey, that didn't have any lingering side effects...

Love what you've done with the place. You know, if this whole boarding house thing doesn't pan out, you can always turn it into a high-class brothel.

(voice-over) Dear Diary, so here I am alive. Stefan saved me from killing myself. Now he's got me on suicide watch. He says it will be therapeutic for me to write down my feelings about the fact that I'm dying and there's nothing I can do about it. Deep thoughts, mortal coil, blah, blah, blah. Ugh. My hand's tired. (to Stefan) What kind of sentimental idiot writes down everything hey feel? Is this what the prophecy meant when it said that all the Doppelgängers were drawn together like magnets? Because if it is, I any my money back.

I'm just trying to make sure you don't slit your wrists.

Well, this whole neurotic granny vibe doesn't exactly make me want to live. Do you really have nothing better to do than stand there all day and watch me write in cursive?

I'm trying to make sure you don't kill yourself.

And how are you going to do that, you know, since you're still having your little panic attacks?

I'm fine.

Yeah. Of course. You are the picture of mental health, Stefan, after being locked for 3 months in a safe at the bottom of a quarry.

I am dealing with it.

I know. I mean, I heard you "dealing" with it earlier today in the library. It sounded like you freaked out and broke a chair, maybe even two. How are you supposed to help me stay alive if you can't even help yourself?

So does this mean you want to live?

No. It means that I can't work with people who can't give me 100%.

WDr. Whitmore

Your body heals others, your body heals itself. You'll regenerate parts of internal organs after I remove them.

Listen. How I got this amazing body has nothing to do with science, so running-- (Dr Whitmore stabs a knife into his eye) aah!

What the hell happened to you?

Ditto. Elena's not here by any chance, is she?

I haven't seen her, not that I've been looking.

Stefan, you awake?

You know, he hasn't seen her either. I know because we were together ... All night.

Look, I've had a really crappy couple of days, ok? If you're implying what I think you're implying--

Why? What were you thinking? That our hot, naked bodies collided in one unforgettable night of passion?

I'm gonna barf.

Great. Then my work here is done. Too-do-loo.

Where the hell have you been?

Aw, you know, being held against my will, shot in the head, and now I can't find Elena. How was your evening? Anything out of the ordinary happen?

Wait a minute. What do you mean you can't find Elena?

I mean, she's not picking up her phone, she's not in her dorm, she's nowhere in this house, which leads me to believe that Dr. Creepy Ken doll has her somewhere.

Are you talking about the Whitmore bio teacher?

Yeah, the one that operates on vampires during business hours, yeah, that one. Put your hero hair on, Stefan. Let's go get Elena.

You just said you don't know where she is.

I don't, which means we're gonna have to find us some leverage. So come on.

Pop quiz. So your girlfriend's taken by a mad scientist. Now do you: a) get a new girlfriend; b) call the police; or c) kill someone close to that mad scientist.

A hundred pages of horrific torture, and you find the one happy passage.

I'm not defending you. I'm not defending your decision to kill Aaron's entire family, to go out of the town and kill his aunt while we are so together.

So why are you still here? I'm bad Elena. I'm bad for you! So why wouldn't have you run away from me as far as humanly possibile?

'Cause I love you, Damon. Because I chose you and I stand by my choice.

Now I'm choosing. And I'm choosing to let you go.

What?! No, Damon.

I'm choosing to not to think about you must feel every time some ghost from my past comes in our lives. I'm choosing to relieve you of having to defend me for every awful thing I've ever done.

Stop acting like I'm perfect! Damon, I've done horrible things too. You think I wanna stand here and judging you after you've tortured for 5 years?

Stop defending me! I won't change who I am. I can't. But I refuse to change you.

So that's it? You're just giving up?

As she should! I mean, he did say-- and I quote-- "I am a bad person. I am bad for you and I am choosing to let you go."

You memorized my breakup?

Of course I did.

It's Stefan.

Tell him I don't feel like talking.

She doesn't feel like talking.

(to Stefan) She doesn't feel like talking.

Rule number one, think of the worst thing Katherine Pierce has ever done to you. Rule number two, toast to the glory of her impending death. Rule number three, if you come across something that's worse-- which you will-- repeat rules one and two. She pretended to be buried in a tomb for 145 years while I waited for her lying ass. (Damon drinks) Wait. Does that beat pretended to be Elena and kissing me on the front porch of your old house?

I don't think so.

I don't think so either, damn. Quarterback, go.

Uh....

Think on that. Little Gilbert.

She fed me to Silas, and I died.

Doozy.

Then she made me crash my car into a pole and left me for dead. Again.

Doubly doozy. Drink.

My sister's dead because of her.

Yes, she is because I wouldn't have even been in town to turn Vicki into a murderous vampire if I wasn't trying to get Katherine out of the tomb she wasn't in. Group shot.

Seriously?

Elena, we were just, uh--

I know what you're doing. (to Jeremy) You're cut off. If anyone is drinking to Katherine's last days, it's gonna be me. She impersonated me repeatedly... Made Aunt Jenna stab herself in the stomach and cut off Uncle John's fingers.

He might have deserved that.

My Grams died trying to close a tomb. She wasn't in.

Tyler's werewolf curse got triggered because of her.

Klaus followed her to Mystic Falls, and because of that, we lost Jenna.

And Alaric.

We're gonna need more booze.

She tried to kill me at least twice.

She did kill me, although I'm weirdly better off.

Rumor has it she burnt down the entire city of Atlanta once.

That might win.

All right. Knock it off or take it somewhere else. You guys are being insensitive.

Come on, Stefan. Don't let the sight of a frail, human, Elena look-alike cloud your memories of the manipulative psycho that she is.

In 1864, Katherine moved into my home, she compelled me to love her, seduced my brother, fed us full of vampire blood, and then started a war with the town that got us killed.

Exactly. Bottoms up.

But centuries before that, she was just an innocent girl who was shunned by her family, so for 500 years, she lied and manipulated and did whatever she had to do survive, and she did. She's a survivor, right. So that's the girl that I will drink to today. Cheers.

Please. One night of hot sex with her, and your brainwashed?

What?!

What?!

Oh, my-- I forgot to tell you. You were kidnapped and hostages and--

Bottle's empty actually.

That's why you never send a busboy to do a man's job. Nadia, the devil's spawn. Hey, Caroline. Did you remember to tell Elena that?

I think my mind just exploded.

You're not even the least bit curious as to why I'm here?

I literally just whooshed at the sight of your face, so no.

Damon informed me that Katerina Petrova has taken a tragic turn.

So you're here to gloat over her corpse to be, to delight in the closure of 500 years of revenge! Great! Now I'm even less interested.

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