The Vampire Diaries quotes

Klaus

She's quite fetching that Haley.

Tyler

Where is she?

Klaus

Oh, she had to run, but don't worry I had her take the back door so Caroline wouldn't see.

Tyler

Whatever you think you know--

Klaus

I don't know anything. But I've put together a pretty convincing picture. Why don't you tell me where my imagination deviates from the reality. You went off to the Appalachians to break my sire bond. There you met a pack of werewolves, begged them for help. And among them was a girl. She was gorgeous. With the same animal instincts as you. Emotions ran high, inhibitions ran low--

Tyler

Stop it.

Klaus

Then, in a moment of weakness, the thick sexual tension became something much more real.

Tyler

I said stop!

Klaus

And Caroline has no idea.

Connor

Is the hospital really the best place for a germaphobe?

Damon

Did I say that I was a germaphobe? Pfft. Sorry. I meant vampire.

Matt

You don't look so hot.

Rebekah

Whatever it is, it's not the white oak stake, so it can't kill me. Surprised you came to my party.

Matt

Well I thought about it. You explained why you ran me off the bridge, so the least I can do is explain how I feel. Truth is, Rebekah, I think you're amazing. You've had a thousand years to learn, to grow and to start fresh. And somehow, you've managed to throw it all away. Now you're alone. You're compelling your friends, your brother hates you. You whine about not finding love. The reason you don't find love, is because you don't deserve it. (Rebekah snatches out his heart, only it is a hallucination due to the werewolf venom she ingested)

Damon

Keep it up, buddy. We'll be scraping you off the ceiling.

Connor

You two are going to kill me anyway.

Klaus

Well, let's not be too hasty. I feel like we're just getting to know each other.

Damon

Start with the basics. Where are you from? What do you know? Maybe even cue me in on this greater evil, because I fought this guy (jerks thumb in Klaus's direction) and there's nothing more evil than that.

Klaus

Yeah, truth be told, I'm as evil as it gets.

Connor

I'm not telling you anything. You think that if you kill me it will be over? There's another waiting to take my place.

Damon

See, this is what I like to hear. Vague threats, ominous prophecies, disappearing tattoos--

Klaus

(Loses his smirk) What do you mean tattoos?

Damon

Don't bother, you can't see the damn thing.

Klaus

There's more to you than meets the eye, isn't there? (Connor attempts to stake Klaus) Nice try. But I'm faster than your average vampire. (Takes the stake from Connor and looks at the carving on it) You're one of The Five.

Damon

The what?

Connor

And I'm faster than your average hunter. (pulls the string attached to a bomb)

Elena

Why am I thinking about you?

Damon

Because you're a vampire now. And part of you knows you're a lot more like me, than you are like him.

Damon

Come one, buy me a farewell drink. Talk about that the hell Klaus meant by "The Five".

Meredith

You know you're not going anywhere, Damon. And I'm not you're new partner in vampire crime. Fix things with Stefan and Elena. Don't let your pride leave you all alone.

Caroline

Hey.

Stefan

Hey. Thanks for coming.

Caroline

Not everyday that I get summoned by a Salvatore. So what's up?

Stefan

(sighs) Do you remember what you were like before you turned?

Caroline

Um, you mean an insecure control freak? (Stefan chuckles) Yeah.

Stefan

You grew into yourself when you became a vampire. You changed. And Elena, she's changing too. And I want her to be able to enjoy it. Without all the guilt and shame that I went through. And there was a moment today when she did. And when I'm with her, every bone in my body tells me to join her, to enjoy it. (pause) But I know that if I do, even a little, I risk becoming him. The Ripper. I love her. And I don't want to hold her back.

Caroline

But you don't know how to be around her and still resist that urge.

Stefan

Damon promised he'd help me stay off the edge. But, it's, ah, he and I aren't in a very good place right now. Not when it comes to her. I just thought, you're so good at it. At being a vampire.

Caroline

(scoffs) Because of you, Stefan. I'm good at it because of you. (pause) Come to me. Whenever you want. I won't let you loose control.

Elena

(after taking a little too much from Matt) What have I done?

Damon

Nothing you should be ashamed of. You are a vampire now. You just have to learn the right way to be one. And I'm going to teach you.

Connor

You saved me.

Klaus

Congratulations. You just became worth more to me alive than dead.

Connor

What...what did you mean when you said I was one of "The Five"?

Klaus

You don't know your own history. Well let's just say it's made you the most well protected vampire hunter in town.

Damon

I'm searching for a supernatural handbook.

Stefan

You know for a fact that he was supernatural?

Damon

Definitely wasn't natural. Guy magically appears just as someone blows up the entire Founders' Council, covered in tattoos that only Jeremy Gilbert, of all people in the world, seems to be able to see. Klaus mentioned something about him being one of The Five. And he kamakazis himself with explosives. Sound natural to you?

Stefan

What's The Five?

Damon

That's what I'm hoping is in the first chapter of the handbook. (phone rings) Liz Forbes, my favorite sheriff. (pause, as Liz is saying something) What? (pause again) That's concerning. (another pause) Keep me posted.

Stefan

(after shooting at Elena with a crossbow) A little slow. Almost got you.

Elena

That's why we are not using the wood ones for Hunter Defense Class.

Stefan

What about Caroline? She's a genius at self-control.

Elena

She's too good. She doesn't understand how hard it is, and you, well... I know what being around too much blood does to you, so... I can't put you through that.

Stefan

(vamp speeds behind Elena, holding the shaft of an arrow against her throat) So I guess that leaves Damon, huh?

Elena

(flips him over her shoulder, straddles him, and holds the arrow against his throat) Don't be jealous. You know I wish it could be you.

Stefan

Fine. You win.

Klaus

(after watching Rebekah attempt to give Matt a new truck) You're trying too hard.

Rebekah

Last I heard you were leaving town, forever.

Klaus

Well, I was. But, then I thought to myself, how can I when my sister, clearly so desperate for love and affection, is left here, bribing the help.

Rebekah

What do you want, Nik? Thought I was dead to you.

Klaus

Things change, Rebekah. I've stumbled upon something I think might be of interest to you.

Rebekah

Doubt that.

Klaus

No? Well, what if I told you the Brotherhood of the Five still existed?

Rebekah

(clearly shocked) What?

Klaus

You see. And like that, bygones. Come on, love. Work to do.

Rebekah

We don't have anything to do. There is no "we". I don't care about the Five. And I don't care about you.

Klaus

As you wish.

Elena

Something tells me college isn't in my future anymore.

Damon

Oh, stop with the pity party. If I can go to college, you can go to college.

Bonnie

You went to college?

Damon

Sure. Plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls.

Bonnie

You're disgusting.

Damon

(whispering) I know.

Damon

(about Professor Shane) What is this guy? Witchipedia?

Klaus

Fine. You might actually be useful in getting Rebekah to cooperate. The Brotherhood of the Five was a group of highly skilled vampire hunters. We crossed paths with them in the 12th century Italy. (Flashback to 1114, voice over) My siblings and I had followed the Normans as they conquered the south. Eating, turning people as we went.

(one of the Five) These, demons live among you. Passing as human.

Klaus

(still a voice over) But with the bloodshed came exposure.

So witness with your own eyes... (opens a metal box to reveal a vampire, who walks into the sunlight and bursts into flames)

Elijah

He's putting on quite a show.

Klaus

He's nothing. I could eat him for sport.

Elijah

Still you should heed the warning. Between you here and Kol in the east, you have not been discrete. Stories of the original vampires is spreading.

Klaus

I welcome the infamy. But if you're worried about discretion, perhaps you should wrangle our sister. (pan to Rebekah, flirting with Alexander)

Stefan

(back to modern day) So these hunters have been around for 900 years?

Klaus

Apparently. Although our friend in the other room (Conner) is the first I've seen since then. Kind of makes you wonder what they'd been up to all these years.

Stefan

And Rebekah had a thing with one of them?

Klaus

Oh, she didn't just have a thing. She fell in love with him. He told her all his secrets, which I will gladly share with you, provided you do one thing for me.

Stefan

And what's that?

Klaus

Get Rebekah over here. She's being stubborn and hateful. I-- I need to make peace with her. I want her to give me some very important information about the hunter that she won't do unless we've made up.

Stefan

And what's in it for me?

Klaus

Just get her here and I'll tell you. Oh, and Stefan, trust me when I say this. That hunter in there holds the answers to all your prayers.