“Couples” quotes from The Tick (live-action)

Tick

Well, not so runny anymore, are we, Mister Takin'-Stuff? (after fleeing burglar bounces off him.)

Guttersnipe! Halt now or face the combustible justice of... the Fiery Blaze!

And his sideKICK [kicks the burglar] Friendly Fire!

Tick

Lordy, gents, your banter is immaculate! A pleasure to witness.

Captain Liberty

Manuel, we're not lonely, are we?

Batmanuel

We? No. No, no, no, no. We're too attractive to be lonely.

Capt. Liberty

Yeah, but we are alone.

Batmanuel

I'm not alone. Uh, spinsters, shut-ins, toll booth attendants — these are alone people. Batmanuel is lone — as in Lone Ranger, or, uh, lone wolf. Alone is an unfortunate predicament. Lone is an aesthetic choice.

Capt. Liberty

How much?

Well, I suggest you spend some time with Lilith in the back, make sure you like her personality, and then we can talk price.

Capt. Liberty

Personality? He's a dog. He sits, he rolls over, he plays dead. How much?

I don't think I'm gonna be able to help you, ma'am. Why don't you go rent a videotape or something, instead of ruining some poor puppy's life with your single-woman hormone clock-is-ticking impulse-buying nonsense?

Capt. Liberty

Just sell me the damn dog.

She's not for sale — not to you. What you need is a singles chat-room, ma'am, not some living creature. Good day.

Arthur

So, Tick, you know, I've been thinking. We have it pretty good. We fill in each other's weak spots. You're bulletproof, for instance, while I'm not.

Tick

True — but it's your firm grip on reality that keeps our ship on course.

Arthur

Well... yeah, I guess you're right...

Tick

Guess, nothin'! You're on a first-name basis with lucidity, little friend. I have to call it Mister Lucidity... and that's no good in a pinch.

Arthur

I just don't wanna turn into Blaze and Fire, okay?

Tick

Good heavens, man, what kind of crazy Frankenscience could make that possible?

Tick

I smell sweaty, drinky, uncle-person...