Come out, everyone! Tally-ho, yoo-hoo! Come on, bring out your fucking dead! Right, everybody listen, I've got an announcement to make, erm...
What is it, you got an erection?
No. I would like to tell you all that I'm resigning!
Is that it?
No, you closeted Regency homosexual, that is not it. Morally, this department is in the gutter!
Thanks for the speech, Glenn, but we have work –
(grabs a desktop lamp) YOU STAY AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT! I will lamp you, with a lamp!
Glenn, you've gone a tiny bit psychotic, my love.
(puts down the lamp) You, Fergus, when you asked me to join you, all you had was your principles, but over the last two years, you've bent like a human fucking palm tree, swaying to the guff of these six-toed born-to-rule pony-fuckers.
If you're gonna go, just go. Spare us this Peter Finch bullshit.
Oh! Adam, you're waiting for your turn! Oh no! I remember, it's your turn right now!
Brilliant. Bring it.
You are simply the most loathsome human being I have ever met.
Yep.
You were so well-suited at the Mail, it's a shame you came over here!
Hear, hear! (she and Phil clap)
Do you know what? I hate you both: Tweedle-twat and Tweedle-prick! You contribute absolutely nothing to the world, so thank fucking God you have no power!
Er, we do actually, it's –
No, you don't. And Peter: it's been dreadful. I hope your cock falls off. Phil, do you know what you are? You're like an eight-year-old trapped in a twelve-year-old's body.
(gleefully) This is great! Why isn't anyone filming this?
And Emma.
Yeah, yeah, do Emma, do Emma!
Yeah, Emma, I'm sorry, you're just a standard-issue insipid posh bitch. That's it! (Emma smiles and shrugs slightly) Terri? (takes a pair of scissors)
Oh, whoa, whoa.
I don't think I've ever met anyone quite so proud, and yet quite so useless. But I do have to thank you, (takes his pass and cuts it up) because I have managed to stay in shape, purely though the energy I spend in pitying you every day!
Glenn, you're just embarrassing yourself.
Fuck you all up the wrong 'un! Ta ta! Bye bye! (leaves)
That was better than IMAX Inception.
Poor, poor Glenn!
Should we try and get him back?
Fuck, no. He's gone completely mental!
He's gone Glenn-tal.
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