The Shield Season 1 quotes

Vic

Me no speakee Ebonee, Shithead!

Aceveda

I went after a suspect today, and I kicked the shit out of him. The only thing that stopped me was... I started to piss my pants. I'm losing control of everything

Then take it back!

Aceveda

[Starting to cry] I don't know how.

You're a captain. You command 200 men, hell you're gonna be the next city councilman. You have power, David. You have a gun and a badge. Now these were just a couple of punk assholes. Do you know who they are?

Aceveda

I could find out. But even then... what?

If it was me... I'd kill 'em.

Vic

We're working late tomorrow night boys. You got any plans, change 'em.

Ronnie

[Sarcastically] Uh, I got tickets to Journey! What's going on?

Vic

We're getting the marked money list out of Aceveda's safe.

We're 7-G's short, just like Ronnie said.

Vic

And the lock?

Ronnie

Not a scratch.

Besides, who's gonna steal seven-grand and leave a fortune behind? [Vic and Lem sit down] So which one of us did it?...Huh?

Vic

None of us did it. Look this whole Tommy thing has got us all a little raw.

Ronnie reported the money missing.

Ronnie

Lem didn't even want to steal it in the first place.

[about Shane] So when you gonna talk to him?

Dutch

You see something like that, you wonder if we all shouldn't just stay home and read the bible.

Danny

Thanks, my partner already does that.

May I help you?

Vic

Just gotta get my cornrows tightened.

Hey man, you hurt us, you hurt Kern.

Vic

Kern's licking caviar off a Czech whore's nipple. He won't be too hurt.

Vic

[to Prophet Leader] Twizzy will be in county 'till his hearing. That'll give you a few weeks to get someone inside. Stop the pain. Anything after that, commit any sins, I'll be nailing you to a cross.

Aceveda

What is it?

Vic

My men are on the wrong scumbag.

Aceveda

How did you do that?

Vic

You and Wyms have had me buried with bullshit over the last couple of months. I'm out of touch

Aceveda

Oh what, so it's my fault?

Vic

Oh I'll bring in the right guy.

Aceveda

Good

Vic

But I'm never gonna let this happen again. I'm no good half in half out. Now you gotta make a choice. You either let me do what I do, or I'll pull the plug on the Strike Team. Take my boys to another part of town.

Aceveda

[to Juan] I know you're working stolen credit cards for your gang. And I know you're skimming profits off the top even though Elisa keeps telling you its gonna get you killed. I know about the headaches you get. I know about the uncle who molested you when you were twelve. I know about your cousin who's trying to get a scholarship to U.C. Irvine, I know which magazines you jerk off to that you think Elisa knows about, I know about your brother in Fresno, I know the inmate who tried to shank you twice at Terminal Island is Koren Hennessy Denton, and I know the number to call to clear up a bunk in his cell just for you.

Vic

The dead guy watched me shove a bong down his buddy's windpipe.

Shane

Twenty bucks says his buddy's one of the shooters.

Come on, a Captain in the middle of the night, and he runs into them? That's a pretty big coincidence.

Vic

Unless it's not a coincidence. (Body gets carried out) What if these are the guys Diagur sent to get the money out of the freezer?

What, the ones you told him to send over?

Shane

Well if it's true, then these are the assholes who kicked the shit out of Aceveda. Took his gun. Which means he was tracking them here when this thing went down.

And he might track them right back to us and that marked cash.

Vic

Let's not get premenstrual until we talk to Diagur.

Just tell me why I do it.

Dutch

To dominate. To feel the...

No! That's not right.

Dutch

You exert power over...

No!

Dutch

You're compelled to.

By what?

Dutch

Organized sociopaths tend to...

Is that who you think you were chasing this whole time? A type? Some answer on an exam? Who would you be chasing right now if you hadn't stumbled over my parking tickets?

Dutch

But I did find your parking tickets.

What happens if the next guy reads the street signs?

Dude, what was that back in the clubhouse?

Shane

Just because we're on this team, doesn't mean we can't become a problem. If there's one thing Vic's good at, it's solving problems.

Dude, Vic's never gonna kick you off the Team.

Shane

Hey, if Vic ever thought that me and Mara were becoming a problem, you'd let me know wouldn't you?

Hello, you've reached the Police Department's main switchboard. Please listen carefully to the following options. To be connected to a supervisor, because one of our jackbooted thugs mistreated you, and you want his goddamn badge, press one.

Ronnie

Cop I know sent it to me.

If you committed a crime you think you can bullshit your way out of, press two. [Cops laugh]

Ronnie

It's great, isn't it?

Vic

If you shut up and let us listen.

If you're shirtless and threatening your girlfriend with a knife, and don't want one of our officers interfering with "true love," press three.

Danny

Priceless.

To report an act of racial profiling, put down your crack pipe and press four. [group laughs] If you can't locate one of your seven unsupervised, fatherless children, press five.

Vic

Married huh?

Shane

Yeah, yeah, I can hardly believe it myself.

Vic

Well, I'm sorry I missed that. [pause] Look, you sure you know what you're doing?

Shane

I know what I want.

Vic

Just.... just don't make the same mistakes I made. And you'll be fine.