Vic Mackey quotes from The Shield

[referring to Shane] He doesn't do anything without you knowing about it. Don't dick me around here.

Vic

I'm not -- that's his job.

Vic

Come on Santi, don't you Byz Lat assholes know you gotta get along with these psychos? Either that or get a grenade shoved up your ass.

Ain't nothing up my ass except you.

Vic

Yeah? How am I feeling?

Vic

You're not even gonna give me a fair shot?

Claudette

You threw away your fair shot by taking so many crooked ones.

We've already notified Homeland Security. They'll be taking over from here.

Vic

So while the men from U.N.C.L.E. are cruising down Alvarado looking for Osama, I'll be sweatin' some good, old-fashioned, trash-talking American dipshit!

Vic

The Feds are gonna be here in a minute. Once they get here, I can't help you.

Oh, white people get shot, and it's a federal case now?

Vic

Oh, we're way past black and white. Your boys used the Al-Qaeda card, which means you got a rainbow coalition of law enforcement shitting multicultural bricks.

Claudette

Gang crime's up 14% citywide this year.

Vic

While Farmington's numbers are down. I guess I can't be everywhere.

Vic

[Ronnie enters clubhouse and Vic sees Ronnie's dog bite injury] Bite looks bad, how's the bark?

Ronnie

[sighs] Oh I just got my balls chewed off because we went in too quick and undermanned.

Vic

Look man I'm sorry. I had no choice.

Ronnie

We all had choices once, and we made them... and now we gotta live with them.

Vic

Ronnie, we're gonna get out of this quicksand.

Ronnie

No we're not. Jesus Vic everything we do to get out of this shit just drags us down deeper. And hanging with Shane is gonna push our heads under.

Vic

We need Shane right now.

Ronnie

I'm sick of walking around half the day smiling at a guy who put a grenade in Lem's lap.

Vic

Hey, you know what's at stake here for me.

Ronnie

I do, yeah. But I'm not gonna drown for Shane... or you.

Vic

I would have loved to dealt the blow myself. Asshole never did pay me back for the favor he owes me.

Ronnie

He would have known your voice in a second.

Vic

Now he's gonna know my foot up his ass.

Vic

That's why we're gonna make it look like a robbery by a rival gang. Choreograph it so the girl escapes.

No disrespect, but the only set you guys can claim is "Aryan Nation".

Vic

We got to pull Shane out of there, man.

Ronnie

What?

Vic

I can't do this.

Ronnie

Vic, it's done. It's all set up. We're never gonna get another chance this clean, you know it.

Vic

I don't care! It's not too late. We still have a choice.

Ronnie

Do you think that Shane gave Lem a choice?

Vic

I'm not Shane.

Shane

What is it with you and whores?

Vic

Just tryin' to keep 'em from tempting you.

Detective Mackey, we're not done. In spite of this ruling, the final determination is up to the chief. Go to your captain, get her to put in a good word.

Vic

I see you're a married man. Is your wife pretty?

Beautiful.

Vic

Would you mind if I take her to Vegas for a dirty weekend? Ride her ass hard and put her away wet?

What?

Vic

Now that's 'bout the level of cooperation I can expect from my captain, on anything.

Corrine

Did you really do all those things?

Vic

I did a lot of things that I shouldn't have done, for reasons that made sense at the time, but they're pretty hard to defend right now. What do you want me to say, that I'm different? I don't want to go to prison. Do you want me to go to prison?

Corrine

Do either of you even feel any shame?

Vic

I don't think about it.

Corrine

Well, that's honest. Sad thing is, I've known--maybe not the specifics, the details--but I've known, and I have let you infect me and our children. I'll help you this one last time... and then the kids and I are out of your life! That is my price. And you have to pay some kind of price.

Claudette

Mackey! You do not interfere with this case.

Vic

Seeing as how I'm not a cop anymore, you really don't have the jurisdiction over what I do, Captain.

Claudette

You rogue out on this, you do anything sideways like you did with Lemansky... and I'll lock up your corrupt ass faster than you can say, "how'd I lose this job?"

Vic

If this is what's left of it, I don't want it.

Vic

You think I'm wired?

We're more involved now. Rules of engagement change.

Vic

Midnight texts, chaperones, engagement... sounds like we're becoming an item.