Jim Rockford quotes from The Rockford Files

You're turning into a big disappointment for me. Don't you ever think about anyone but yourself?

Jim

No. Well, yeah, sometimes at Christmas.

Jim

[after Rocky finds him lying in the floor, unconscious] What are you doing?

Rocky

I'm calling Doc Wheaton.

Jim

I don't want to see Doc Wheaton!

Rocky

Well, that's tough!

Rocky

Look, I'm your father. I got an interest in whether-or-not your head is leaking on the inside. Now you're getting so dumb, I'm gonna have to take you out for walks, and hold your hand in the market!

Jim

You're funny, Rocky. You're funny.

[Jim beat Fielder to the grip on a handshake and is squeezing his hand, just as Fielder had done to hurt Jim's hand shortly before] Would you let go of my hand? This is very childish.

Jim

What? Oh... It is, isn't it.?

Jim

You better lose that guy or we're gonna have a black and white at every intersection. Drive a race car huh?

Lousy damn suspension...

Rocky

Then why'd you tell me to bring a gun, huh?

Jim

Well, uh...

Rocky

Hehe, can't answer that one, can you?

Jim

Well sure I can! We're taking a gun along because... somebody may try and kill us.

Rocky

That's what I figured.

Jim

[after agreeing to buy a really bad abstract painting from a street vendor in exchange for information] Listen, if you ever see him again would you get his license number? I'd appreciate it if you would give me a call.

Yea, okay.

Oh hey, you forgot your painting!

Jim

[Rockford looks at it again] Well not yet. But I'm trying!

Been waiting for you, man. Called you over two hours ago. Don't you ever check your service?

Jim

Oh, now and then.

Jim

Do you need a permit to carry a thing like this?

I told you, I paint what I feel.

Jim

You must not feel well.

Yeah, well, it's yours for fifty bucks.

Jim

Why would I want to buy a piece of junk like this?

Gratitude. See, I got the license number of that dude you're looking for.

Jim

[he turns back and looks at the painting] You know, it does have a certain gross charm!

I thought you'd like it.

Rocky

Hey Jim, it ain't your fault Karen's dead.

Jim

I know...

If I told you a woman walked out of her home and left her purse behind, would you believe me?

Jim

I'd wonder why, but I wouldn't call you a liar.

Consorting with a known felon is, I believe, a parole violation.

Jim

You gonna blow the whistle on me?

I'm sure that won't be necessary. I just mention it to stimulate an atmosphere of cooperation.

Jim

Well, that's not what you stimulated. And I'm not on parole, I got a full pardon, and you've got about ten seconds to make it through that door.

If he turns up dead, and I can find anything to prove that you knew something that could have saved him, you're gonna wind up an accessory after the fact in his murder.

Jim

No, I'm not. I'm not even gonna be a material witness, unless the DA can establish me on preliminary, which he can't. There's no foundation. And he can't get me into cross-examination for the same reason. So... [winks at Highland] thanks for the invitation. I think I'll go fishing.

Dennis Becker

He's been around, Captain.

[holds her gun pointed at Rockford] Look, I was afraid. You kept insisting I go to L.A. and I can't do that!

Jim

You mean it doesn't get easier the second time around?

What are you talking about?

Jim

Birrell didn't kill Ricky; you did.

That's not true!

Jim

Ballistics will run a check on that thing. We'll see if it's the murder weapon.

It was an accident... I didn't mean to murder him. I was trying to frighten him. He was seeing someone else. He was going to leave me. He used people.

Jim

Oh, and you wouldn't know anything about using people, would you. There's a doctor who's going to lose his license. Mitch is dead! When I told you that all you wanted to know was did he talk first. You wanted to know if you were in trouble. Lady, you put a high price on yourself.

But... But... Mitch wanted you to help me. He wanted you to help me - can't you do that for him?

Jim

Well sure, Jennifer, I'll help. You have your lawyer call me as a character witness.

[Jim's been invited to lunch with Mr. Bannister to dissuade Jim from continuing to try to get his wife, Linda, to testify on Charlie Harris' behalf] It's going to get pretty expensive for you, this... adventure.

Jim

I don't see how that could happen. I've cased the deck pretty well, and I know what "trump" is.

You do, huh? Well, try this out: If you continue this investigation, or try, in any way, to involve my wife, I will call some people that I know in Europe, and they will fly over here one night, and they will locate you. They will put a bullet in your head and will be gone within the hour. Now, and that's a '"rump" I presume you probably did not figure on.

Jim

[thinks for a minute] It also lacks finesse.

Well, I've found in my business dealings that the higher you make the risk - out of proportion to the gain - the more people are likely to sit out the hand.

Dennis Becker

Jim, the police department operates without fear or favor.

Jim

Theoretically.

Dennis Becker

That's right, theoretically. As to fear, half the time we work in a cold sweat. As to favor, every stiff gets the same consideration, except a dead cop.

Jim

I'm trying to defrost my frost-free refrigerator.

Rocky

Oh, darn thing went out on you again huh?

Jim

American ingenuity... I don't know how they do it, but the minute the warranty runs out, whatever it is, it starts falling apart.

Rocky

Well I'll just give you a hand.

Jim

Not with your best suit on, I don't want to get stuck with the cleaning bill. No, I think I'm just gonna give up on this thing and buy me a new one.

Rocky

Oh, are you working Jimmy?

Jim

No, but I think I can swing the down payment on a refrigerator.