The Ren & Stimpy Show quotes

Oh no! The Hermit Union Leader!

Alright, this is a bust! YOU! [points to Ren] You broken the cardinal rule of Hermitude. Companionship. And what's with all these imaginary friends! You're violating the law. EXPOSED! YOU are officially kicked out of the Hermit Union! [Fades to outside, Jasper ripped his beard off Ren. Jasper salutes Ren, Ren carrying mud Stimpy and walking to home. Jasper salutes, Ren's anger, fear and Ignorance salutes as well, Mummified Bog Man salutes too, Oldman Farmer Hoek salutes and Salesman salutes too and even bats salutes as well. Fades to Cowhouse, Ren looks at Cowhouse and he opens it]

Giddyup, horsey! Giddyup! [Ren looks at Stimpy dressed up as a lady with Mud Ren] Ren! You're back! [smiles]

So, I turned my back for 10 years and you found yourself another chihuahua! [Stimpy was sad and gets an idea]

Ahem! But, Ren. [Ren looks at Mud Stimpy]

Oh. [chuckles] Sure. Well, it's great to be back, BUDDY! [Ren hugs Stimpy, Mud Ren and Mud Stimpy was winking at the viewers smiley and hugs together. The two iris was closing completely at the end of the episode]

YOU! You're the culprit! Just look at this place! Hairy furniture... Hairy FOOD... Your smelly old hair is EVERYWHERE! It was you all along.

Okay, one more time, if you let the little monster come near me again, I'll...

Uh... Oh yeah! Kill me slow.

And...

Take my show away from me?

[looks at Ren's butt] Hmm, smooth butt. I heard of that.

And... [Sid bites Ren's butt, making him scream in pain]

Oh good! He's teething!

[comes home to find out that Stimpy and Sid have made a mess of the house] THAT'S IT! I've had enough of you and your stupid pet! THERE'S TOOTHPASTE ALL OVER THE HOUSE! THE TOILET SEAT IS ALWAYS UP! AND HAVE YOU SEEN THE PRICE OF CLOWN PANTS NOWADAYS?! AND PLAYING WITH MY STUFF IS STRICTLY VERBOTEN!

Now, Ren, you should refrain from using any Slavic dialects. Sid is a German attack clown.

Don't worry, Stimpy! I'll save you... [Ren looks a motorcycle, two roller skates, a red car with a lady standing next to it and looks back at Stimpy, who is still choking. He dreams of riding around in the red car] I'll, uh, go or help! [runs to Wilbur Cobb, who picks him up by the neck]

So, back to your ol' tricks, EH JOHNNY?!? Are you gonna let your friend Snoopy choke? Are you gonna do the right thing? [Ren punches Stimpy and spits the leg of ham out of his mouth] Good work, Skippy! And as a reward, you get the spend the next 15 years with your stupid friend there. [Wilbur Cobb slams his rake on Ren's head] Of course, there's the matter of all these worldly goods and seeing as they were all bought with ill gotten gains, I'll have to take everything as evidence, goodbye. [drives off with all their stuff and a lady. Ren and Stimpy start crying]

Aw, raggy!

That's him! Stealing scooters on Yaksmas! SHAME ON YOU!

But- But, I-

I stayed up for a week chewing all that gum for you!

I'm glad I forgot to get you that stupid scooter! You don't deserve it!

I was gonna buy that scooter for my sick little kid! And now look at her!

[laughs insanely] Now look at me! Now look at me! NOW LOOK AT ME! [laughs insanely]

I can explain! I-

Stimpson J. Cat, you stand accused of stealing a $39 scooter. How do you plead?

Listen your honor, I- [his tongue reveals the words "guilty as sin" printed on it; he exclaims in shock]

Foreman Yak, how do you find the thieving rat?

Guilty, of scootercide in the first degree.

Very well. [points at Stimpy] For your crimes against humanity, your sentence is INFINITY IN PRISON! [echoing]

[begins to cry after he gets locked in a jail cell] BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO TAKE IT!

So let me get this straight. You're a CIA agent sent by the Queen of America to deliver this top-secret scooter to the West Pole?

Yes. To the big chief spy himself, Stinky Wizzleteats!

YOU....!

Oh, joy!!!

No, sir. I didn't love it.

POWDERED TOAST MAN!