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34 QUOTES

A character in The Penguins of Madagascar

Kowalski quotes from The Penguins of Madagascar

Played by Jeff Bennett · 34 quotes · page 3 of 3

Kowalski

2nd most-quoted character in The Penguins of Madagascar: in 34 of its 78 quotes
Most scenes with: Skipper (21), Private (16), Rico (7)

Scenes with Kowalski 29

[he suddenly goes crazy] Sardines? FISH! [he runs towards Rico, who kicks him away and glares angrily]

[Private smacks into the wall and is held back by Skipper and Kowalski before he can get away]

Kowalski

Private!

Private! Explain yourself, soldier!

FISH! [laughs crazily]

[creeped out] Kowalski, analysis!

[Kowalski measures Private's head and puts a magnifying glass next to Private's right eye]

Kowalski

Crazy eyes...[ puts a popsicle stick on Private's tongue. Private waves his flippers up and down] Babbling tongue...

[Private bites Kowalski's flipper, frees himself of their grip and runs to Rico, who pushes Private over]

FISH!

Kowalski

Egad! I believe our Norwegian herring was a bit too aged.

Never ever blame the fish, Kowalski!

Kowalski

But don't you see? [pulls out a clipboard & pencil] Private's contracted Bacterial, Pisces Dementia! A rare brain disease that's turning him into a fish-craving psychopath!

Hey! That's my thing!

Yeah, we don't need two of those. Can he be cured?

Kowalski

It should wear off in 24 hours just as long as he doesn't feed the disease. [pulls up a chart with a fish on it] That means no fish of any kind. If Private ingests so much as a single sardine, he'll be like this forever.

[he launches at the chart] FISH!

[Rico, slyly, puts the sardines in front of Private's face and pulls it away, when he tries to get it, Kowalski and Skipper hold him back and Private yells, "FISH!" Rico does it again and again and again]

Stop that!

Kowalski

Well, on the bright side, maybe this will teach Private not to overindulge in so much brined herring. [chuckles]

Wait, didn't you eat as much as he did? [Kowalski's right eye moves away then back to normal before showing he's been affected by the disease.]

Kowalski

Why, yes I...dooby-dooby-did! FISH!! [he lunges at Rico, but he pushes him away. Skipper keeps the two penguins away from the fish, slapping them repeatedly.]

Looks like we're on psycho patrol, amigo. No fish for these two for the next 24 hours.

[suspicious] Uhh, what about you?

[confidently; still slapping] Luckily, my iron-clad constitution has made me immune to this Pisces Dementia.

Oh. [looks at him]

Seriously. [Rico stares at him again] No effect. [Rico gives one serious look] Iron-clad constitution.

[Rico smiles, thinking that it should be all right. Unfortunately, Rico panics as he stops hearing Skipper slapping Private and Kowalski. He stares at Skipper, seeing that he was affected by the disease like Private and Kowalski.]

FIIIISH!

AHHH! [Rico quickly eats the sardines and is chased around the HQ by the three fish-craving penguins. He blocks the door.]

Uh-uh-uh! No fish!

[from outside] Feeding time!

[pause for a while before charging up the ladder] FIIIISH!

[Private tries to use his Quantum Hyper Cute, only for his feathers to fall out as he does.]

Kowalski

Of course, the itchy feathers. He's... [gasps] molting!

[disgusted] Ew!

To the bunker! And cover the Private's shame.

[After Skipper, Kowalski and Rico scrub off the marker off of Private in a failed attempt to reverse his molting; Skipper, Kowalski and Rico look at Private in shock.]

[confused] What? Did you miss a spot?

Kowalski

No, we were very... thorough. [gags]

[Upon finding out that he's completely naked, Private screams in horror, scaring away some birds as he does.]

These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Penguins of Madagascar pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.