Charlie Skinner quotes from The Newsroom

Charlie

[shouting] I'm a marine, Don! I will beat the shit out of you, I don't care how many protein bars you eat!

Charlie

I need to tell you that you're going to remember this night for the rest of your lives. It's going to be a long night and we need you to work fast and we need you to work well. But once in a while, take three seconds- you can't spare more than that- take three seconds to notice where you are and what you're doing. Will's gonna go on the air in a few minutes so that we can report that at the order of the President of the United States, US Special Forces have shot and killed Osama bin Laden.

Charlie

(on media figures who anonymously panned Will in a magazine article) [They] are just pussy-ass, coward-ass, sissified pussies!

Charlie

We had a story that the US used sarin gas on a village in Pakistan and we went. Anybody would have. Most people would have gone months earlier. To not go would have been to participate in the biggest cover-up since--These were war crimes. It was a Sunday special report. Neilson tracking showed it was gonna be a monster audience--Three and a half, four million. It ended up closer to six. By 10:05, I knew we had a problem. None of it was true.

Charlie

He got knocked down. We didn't get taller.

Will

Yeah, I get that there are moments, small moments, infrequent moments, where I'm not the easiest guy to work with, but who the hell is?

Charlie

I am.

Will

Well, it helps that you're drunk most of the time.

Charlie

It certainly does. Do me a favor–

Will

This is more than unprofessional, it's uncivilized. But more than that, it's unprofessional.

Charlie

Just do me a favor, okay?

Will

Sure.

Charlie

Try not to make a scene–

Will

Yeah. [yelling at Elliot through a glass conference room door] Hey, dickless! (Don and Elliot both look up) [to Don, calmly] Not you. You're in a minute.

Charlie

For a long time now, I badly wanted to watch the news on my TV at night. Then it occurred to me-- I run a news division.

Will

She's indifferent to ratings, competition, corporate concerns, and, generally speaking, consequences.

Charlie

Good, 'cause you just described my job. I'm Don Quixote, you can be Sancho, she'll be Dulcinea, and everyone out there is the horse.

Will

Donkey. How did you know about that conversation?

Charlie

I know everything. Anchors having an opinion isn't a new phenomenon. Murrow had one and that was the end of McCarthy. Cronkite had one and that was the end of Vietnam.

Will

I'm not those guys.

Charlie

I'm betting all my money on you're wrong. You know what, kiddo? In the old days of about 10 minutes ago, we did the news well. You know how? We just decided to.

Charlie

Does anyone mind if I start drinking a lot of bourbon right now and a little later, put my fist through his head?

Reese

I think you've had enough bourbon for one lifetime!

Charlie

Not for my lifetime.

Ms. Lansing, I think the best analogy I can use is Rocky II.

Reese

[Incredulously] Are you sure the best analogy you can use is Rocky II?

Ms. Lansing, Rocky was a lefty-

Reese

Rocky was... Political?

Rocky was left-handed and for his re-match with Apollo Creed, Burgess Meredith had him train as a righty. Rocky goes round after round with Apollo Creed as a righty until Burgess Meredith shouts 'Now' and Rocky swings with his left.

Reese

[Frustrated, confused] What the fuck are you talking about?

Ms. Lansing, all I'm saying is that Mackenzie MacHale shouted 'Now' and Will started swinging away.

Charlie

[Laughingly] Reese! Please, leave Mac out of this, I'm Burgess Meredith I shouted 'Now' [drunkenly slurs an imitation of 'Mickey' from Rocky II] This guy, he don't just wanna beat-cha, he wants to murder ya! [Normal tone] That was my best Burgess Meredith impression.

Reese

[Angrily] Is there something funny about all this?

Charlie

Yeah! We've been talking about Rocky II!

Charlie

We did the news.

Leona

For the left.

Charlie

For the center.

Leona

Are you fucking out of your mind–?!

Charlie

For the center, Leona! Facts... are the center. Facts. We don't pretend that certain facts are in dispute to give the appearance of fairness to people who don't believe them. Balance is irrelevant to me. It has nothing to do with the truth, logic, or reality. He didn't go on the air telling people to give peace a chance, but evolution? The jury's back on that one.

Will

I was rejecting a pass from her while trying to talk her out of what they call at TMI a 'take-down piece' of one of the desperate housewives of New Jersey.

Charlie

Real Housewives.

Will

Who gives a shit.

Charlie

Definitely not me.

Will

And the tuxedo's off the rack.

Charlie

Did you grope her?

Will

No! I-I-I-- I gently touched her to block her as she was coming in for a kiss. I blocked her. I was the victim of an unwanted sexual advance. But more important, I was fighting the good fight.

Charlie

Why were you fighting any fight?

Will

I was trying to get her to not write the take-down piece.

Charlie

Why?

Will

Why?

Charlie

Yeah.

Will

I'll tell you why. Because I'm on a mission to civilize.

Charlie

How's it going so far?

Will

Progress is slow, but I'm in it for the long haul.

Charlie

You want Publicity to draft a statement?

Will

About the mission?

Charlie

The Page Six piece.

Will

Absolutely not.

Charlie

Good.

Will

What did you call me up here for?

Charlie

Mostly to laugh at you.

Will

Mac, get in here with Charlie right now.

Mac

Is everything-

Will

Right now! [points to Charlie as he enters] You tell Leona that if she wants me out of this chair, she better bring more than just a couple of guys.

Charlie

That's exactly what I'll fucking tell her!

Will

I'm not fucking around, Charlie!!!

Charlie

Feet of fucking steel!

Will

Mac-

Mac

I'm sorry.

Will

It's not your fault.

Mac

I fucked everything up!

Will

It's gonna be all right.

Don

[entering the room] What the fuck is going on?!

Will

You're a fucking newsman, Don! I ever tell you otherwise, you punch me in the face!!!

Don

[considers this for a moment] Okay, but you're back in 30.

Charlie

You had to protect your sisters and your brothers and your mom from a pretty violent father, it sounds like. Do it again. I got faith in you.

Will

Why?

Charlie

I'm out of options.

Mac

When was the last time you checked your emails?

Charlie

15 seconds ago.

Mac

[To Will] When was the last time you did?

Will

Hmm?

Mac

Look at your BlackBerry.

Mac

Press the buttons!

Will

Sure... [he reads emails on his Blackberry] Okay, not tonight but in days to come, uh, you'll look back and think this moment was funny.

Mac

[reading the Blackberry] It's from 20 minutes ago.

Will

(chuckling) Yeah...

Charlie

What's it say?

Mac

'OBL re portable. Knock 'em dead just like we did.'

Charlie

Who's it from?

Mac

Joe Biden!

Charlie

Are you kidding me?!

Will

We used to play softball together when he was in the Senate, he knows something about the landing leg--

Charlie

GET ON THE AIR!!!

Mac

We're going!

Charlie

[to Will] When did you turn into Ted Baxter?

[in Will's office] I told you, this guy--

Will

[walking in] This guy what?

Wasn't on the team.

He's on the team, okay?

Will

Hang on. The team I'm on is the voters' and smart, qualified people disagreeing about issues.

Your plan was to embarrass the candidates.

Will

I want candidates who can answer those questions. And if they know they're going to be held responsible for the nonsense they're shouting on the stump, they'll be forced to stop shouting nonsense.

This guy has lost his mind.

He hasn't.

Will

Adam, this is exactly what we always talked about. This is what we dreamed of. We said we need real campaign reform and a way of letting Americans hear the two best competing arguments.

Nobody could stand up to that kind of questioning.

Will

You think that was brutal questioning?

It really wasn't.

And you honestly believe the candidates would submit themselves to this?

They should welcome it.

I don't believe what I'm hearing.

Any candidate who can handle a cross is gonna find himself at the top of the polls in the morning. And we should welcome it 'cause it'll clear out the clown car and give us a serious discussion among serious candidates.

The only person who would welcome it is him. This is about him. He wants to look tough by making the candidates look like idiots.

No, he doesn't. I have known this man for 25 years and I vouch--

I don't care what you vouch for. I am not allowing the goddamn press to make fools out of our candidates.

I'll remember that the next time you bitch about how the press never vetted Obama.

[to Will] We're not agreeing to this format. You are going to abide by the rules that we give you and I don't want Mackenzie McHale producing it for you.

Will

What are you talking about?

I want the old Will McAvoy. Not the thing she turned you into. I know all about that lady.

Will

Get out.

Will, come on. You need the debate. Of course he can use Mackenzie.

Will

These guys have been compromising and compromising all week so we could host a debate that made some sense and did some good.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that, because it was all for nothing.

We need ACN.

No, we don't.

They've got the independents.

He's not the only anchor at ACN. [marches out of office] Don Keefer.

Don

Yeah?

How would you and Elliot Hirsch like to have one of the debates?

Don

Eat me.

Mr. Skinner, I'm trying to be as-

Charlie

When Don says, "Eat me," that's usually the end of the conversation.

Sloan Sabbith. You want to be a star?

Sloan

Me?

Yeah.

Sloan

Fuck you.

[To Adam] I hate these guys. I don't know why you don't.