[Realizing she just sent a mass e-mail to the staff, with details of her infidelity during a relationship with Will] No... No, no... No, no, no, no, no, no I need everyone's attention, right now [Gary Cooper receives the e-mail on his Blackberry, which Mackenzie snatches from his hand, throws to the floor, crushes beneath her heel, and upon which she pours another employee's tea.]
[staring at the ruins of his phone] That was unusual.
[frantically] I need everyone to delete the staff e-mail, right now, without reading it. Then I need someone to sneak into Will's office and delete the e-mail from his inbox. If it's password protected, I need someone to, um mm, TAKE A BASEBALL BAT AND SMASH-- [Will enters with a stunned expression on his face] I thought you said he was at a thing uptown.
JJim
I guess he came back.
We stood in my office this morning...
...and I said under no circumstances did I want anyone to know what happened, and you said yes, and yes again. I mean it really, it really seemed like you understood. Then, you sent an e-mail, explaining in some detail, what happened and then you copied 47 reporters on it.
You know how sometimes something happens in an instant that's so astonishing you just... shut down?
Of course, that's understand–
THAT DOESN'T! FUCKING! HAPPEN! TO ME!
We're going to go into Will's office, I want everyone to delete the e-mail-
MMartin
Mack, I think I just accidentally forwarded it to corporate.
[Will angrily charges at Martin and is blocked by Mackenzie and Maggie] WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
[Frantically] I was trying to send an e-mail to you, but instead I sent it to Sloan and then 'Sloan' became 'Staff' and I either did or didn't type the asterisk.
Why were you sending it at all?
Because-... and here's where I'm on firmer ground. Sloan thought that you cheated on me and that you were an ass! [To the staff] Which is not true! I'm changing minds, Will!
[Points angrily to his office] GET IN THERE!
JJim
First, you go into News and you look over the questions the Segment Producer put in the rundown. Identify yourself and your news agency, summarize the segment-- the length, whether it's live or not, and who we're having on from the other side.
I'm sorry, but don't I first open my eyes and notice it's a new day?
JJim
What are we talking about here?
What is this magic box in front of me?
JJim
Have I done something to you?
I swear I was just thinking the exact same thing. I have no idea why I'm being mean to you.
JJim
Now that you know that, do you think you'll stop?
That's the thing-- it doesn't feel like it. I'm just being honest.
JJim
I can't ask for more than that, except rational thought.
JJim
Oh, wow. I didn't realize it was Valentine's Day. And that people in the office gave-
No, Valentine's Day is Monday, not today, and these aren't for you, they're from you.
JJim
I am more confused than I was before.
Don planned a beautiful night for us on Monday.
Yes. Don planned a romantic evening for you and me. Me and HIM.
JJim
That makes more sense.
And I don't want it to be ruined by Lisa, who will ruin it if she doesn't have a romantic Valentine's day. Last year her boyfriend forgot it was Valentine's Day and went to a Rangers game with his friends. She got drunk, made us watch "Overboard," and reviewed every bad Valentine's Day she's ever had, which was all of them. Not this year. You're gonna be like St. Valentine himself.
JJim
St. Valentine actually–
Focus, nerd. Don got us a room at the Four Seasons.
Nope, still him and me. The Four Seasons. The bath fills up in less than 60 seconds. And I don't want Lisa showing up with a copy of "The Notebook" saying, "Where's the minibar?"
JJim
Yeah, I can't hang out with Lisa on Valentine's Day. That's making a pretty strong statement.
Don't screw with me on this, James Tiberius Harper.
JJim
That's not my middle name. You're thinking of Captain James Tiberius Kirk–
Do not screw me on this, Jim.
JJim
We're not in a relationship. She calls me at night after work. We talk for a minute and then she says, "Should I come over?" And what am I supposed to say?
If you're dating someone on February 14th, you take them out on February 14th.
JJim
What's February 14th? [Maggie is annoyed] Valentine's Day...
It's just a very bad day.
LLisa
It's Valentine's Day. It's my favorite day.
Then pick another day! Because it's every guy's least favorite day. Everyone's always disappointed. Valentine's Day is the bully of holidays. It forces love on people who aren't in love. Cupid's freakish.
No, I'm boycotting Valentine's Day from now on. Who's with me?!
[holding flowers for Maggie hands them to a random guy] I love you every day. Today's just an excuse to spend a night in a hotel room.
JJim
What are they doing to contain the situation? What's going on with Will?
Internal security is handling it. But I have to give you a rotten assignment.
JJim
You got gum in your hair again?
No! Yes, but I got it out. I need you to do opposition research on Will.
About a year ago, somebody filed a complaint with HR on your behalf.
I know what that was. Will didn't do anything wrong. This is ridiculous.
I know, but Charlie wants to know what else is out there so he can--
JJim
Will knows we're doing this?
JJim
And he's okay with it?
[at Jim's desk]
Have you done this before?
JJim
Tell me about the complaint.
There was a desk producer who saw Will yell at me about something.
Doesn't matter. [Jim raises his eyebrows. Maggie sighs] I mixed up Georgia the state with--
Yes, Georgia the country.
Yup. This isn't about me.
JJim
During the invasion? You thought the Russians invaded Atlanta?
In retrospect, it seems farfetched. But that wasn't what he was actually mad about. The wife of a board member died and Will asked me to send flowers. I wrote on the card, "I'm so sorry about your loss. LOL."
I thought it meant "lots of love."
JJim
How are you still working here?
I dodge bullets. Here comes a bullet. Boom! I'm over here. Ping! Here comes another bullet. Boom! I'm over here.
[to Jim answering as Michelle Bachmann] Congresswoman Bachmann.
You've said that you were told to run for president by God.
You have, right? You've said on a number of occasions that God told you to run for president. I have some clips if you'd like me to refresh your memory.
JJim
Nope, my memory is fresh.
What does God's voice sound like? [everyone laughs] I'm completely serious. She's saying that God spoke directly to her. How is this not the first question asked in a debate? How's it not the only question? What does His voice sound like? What did He say exactly word for word? Did He speak in Hebrew? Acadian? Kiswahili-Bantu? And to put it in a medical context, is this the first time you've heard voices? She's claiming to be a prophet. The whole world is sitting on the edge of their seat. How is this not the first question we'll ask?
JJim
First of all, can you stop pointing at me and saying "she" and "her"?
You're the one who wanted to play a woman. But tell me why that question is out of line.
JJim
Because it's not the best way to demonstrate seriousness of intent and it's not the best way not to insult people.
MMartin
Christians. 83 percent of the country.
I'm one of them. And she's insulting me!
JJim
Please, stop pointing at me when you are–
Relax, J. Edgar. She's insulting me, she's insulting my family, she's insulting my congregation, and she's insulting my faith. She's implying that Christians are imbeciles who will believe anything while reducing God to a party hack who endorses political candidates. Now, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this is the first time since Moses that God has given direct instructions to someone other than His son. But if so, I think it deserves a follow-up.
[after hearing about Maggie and Lisa] Do you want to end up like me and him?
Wasting time? And now he's practically dead.
I'm not practically dead.
Eat some Jell-O! You've got to do something before he asks her!
JJim
It doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do to Don. Or Maggie. Or Lisa!
So you're willing to end up like the two of us- a strong, beautiful, vital woman and a hollowed-out shell of a man?
That's a dead person speaking, basically. And now I'm gonna have to spend the next God knows how many hours in mourning.
[screaming at a Sex and the City tour bus] Hey! No, they didn't! I'm a typical single woman in New York City! I don't wear heels to work because the typical woman's job doesn't exclusively involve gallery openings. And I know Carrie must have made boatloads writing her 800-word column for a newspaper no one's ever heard of but I just spent my last seven dollars having a fight with my best friend who, by the way, is not available at 3:00 p.m. on a Wednesday to console me about some guy, because she, too, has a job. And mostly, when you fall for a guy and he's going out with your best friend, it doesn't work out. Things get really bad!
[On the Sex and the City tour bus, Jim, previously unseen, stands]
(horrified) No! No! [pause] I just...I was talking...about...other people! [she runs off]
JJim
Listen to me, I'd like dinner to last 10 to 15 minutes.
You don't like to linger.
JJim
I'm doing my lingering somewhere else tonight, so we're not ordering anything that takes a long time to prepare. We're not ordering anything well-done. We're not ordering anything cooked. It's okay with me if we don't order anything.
It's not going to be okay with the restaurant.
JJim
Screw the restaurant, Neal. The restaurant hasn't not seen his girlfriend in a month. The restaurant's girlfriend isn't wearing cocktail attire.
There's a difference between being tough and wanting to be. You and Mac are tough. Don's tough. I want to be.
You know when I first noticed you?
JJim
When I ran into the room and got tackled by Mac's luggage? Did you know--
No. It was funny, but I didn't notice you until later. There was a beep. It was an i News alert. But it was yellow.
[Flashback]
JJim
You've got a news alert.
[Current]
Nobody was paying attention to it.
You clicked on it anyway. You couldn't help yourself.
JJim
You ran back into the building.
JJim
That's what I'd keep in mind.
The Newsroom · 118 quotes
