CharlieHey, money skirt!
The day will come when we have an HR rep who cares what goes on on this floor. And on that day, sir, I will dance upon your grave.
Charlie
Reciting stock quotes and wearing a skirt?
How much time do I have to formulate a comeback?
Charlie
That was it. The first thing out of your mouth is the comeback - you wasted yours on a question about comebacks. [pause] Fantasy football draft starts in 10 minutes.
I know. I'm the commissioner.
Charlie
Your parents must be proud.
They are. I was elected unanimously.
Charlie
You were unopposed - just like when you were elected class treasurer.
That was an important job.
Charlie
It wasn't.
Why does it have to be like this?
Charlie
Because you're a nerd and I'm a nerd and you make nerds look bad.
No, I make nerds look good.
Charlie
He'll be out in a minute.
Charlie
Do I know you?
I'm Jenna Johnson. I just started as an intern.
Charlie
You look familiar.
[emerging from bathroom] Say "Why is America the greatest country in the world?"
[sighs] Why is America the greatest--
Charlie
You're the sorority girl!
That's what I'm most famous for.
Charlie
[to Will] You hired her?
[to Jennifer] There are eight Broadway musicals that have won the Pulitzer Prize for drama. In five minutes, I need you to name them, the composer, lyricist, librettist, and source material, if any.
[Johnson leaves]
Charlie
You make the interns learn musical theater history?
Look, I'm trying real hard to care the Al-Awlaki is dead, but I-
Charlie
I don't care that he's dead. I care that we killed him. Without a trial, or anything resembling due process.
You can't switch teams, declare your intention to kill as many Americans as possible, and not expect to be treated as an enemy of the state.
Charlie
And you can't be found to be an enemy of the state without a trial.
John Dillinger said the problem with living outside the law is that you no longer have the protection of it.
Charlie
That doesn't sound like Dillinger.
Yeah, it may have been someone else.
Federal Agents tried to arrest Dillinger coming out of a movie theater, and when he pulled a gun, they shot him. They didn't hit the theater with a rocket.
Al-Awlaki was the head of AQAP. He doesn't get read Miranda. I don't give a shit what his passport says.
And you know all those times the two of you ask me why I'm a Republican, as if that's something that needs an explanation?
I don't know what the hell you're on about...
I have never heard either of you ask anyone why they're a Democrat. Well it's right here. The purposeful suspension of common sense.
Charlie
Treason is a crime, you have to be found guilty of it before you can be punished.
I'm not allowed to make that suggestion on television.
Charlie
Make it anytime you want. We're protected.
Charlie
The tape, baby, the tape. We're like made men. We're like Joe Pesci in "Goodfellas."
Charlie
Before he got shot.
Before he got shot, he wasn't a made man.
Charlie
We're like James Caan in "The Godfather."
Also shot. Many, many times.
Charlie
Who are we like?
Two guys who have a tape of their boss admitting to phone hacking.
Charlie
How do these people boo a soldier? How do the candidates say nothing? And how are you a member of this party?
I'm changing it from within.
Charlie
Like Pacino in "Scarface."
Have you ever seen any of these movies?
Charlie
I should.
Charlie
No.
I tell her exactly what happened...
Charlie
(stretched out and kind of singsong) Noohoohoo.
Charlie
To what?
To her God given humanity.
Charlie
God didn't give her humanity. That's why she's a gossip columnist.
God gave us all humanity.
Charlie
Let's look at the tape of people boo-ing a guy while he was in the middle of saving their lives.
I have no explanation for that.
Charlie
He says he never said they used sarin.
Charlie
He says he never said that.
Charlie
I knew this would happen.
It happens all the time. These guys get cold feet or someone at the DOD begs them to recant.
Charlie
Edited him out of context.
Did you tell him we have the raw footage?
Charlie
Yea.
Raw footage isn't edited out of context. It isn't edited at all.
Charlie
I told him that.
Charlie
He said he was gonna kill me.
Did he say it the way Mac says it to me or did it seem like he meant it?
I mean it when I say it to you.
Charlie
He was very upset.
Tell him I'm gonna go right now to look at the raw interview again and that he can look at it with me if he wants.
Charlie
All right.
We knew things were gonna happen.
Charlie
Yeah. [stepping out the door] Chemical weapons expert wants to kill me. I make the worst enemies. Seriously, I'm a perfectly nice guy.
Charlie
We're gonna resign, Leona. It's what has to happen now. Elliot Hirsch, Sloan Sabbith, Terry Smith, Dayside ACN, ACN. We understand the integrity of the news is more important--
Than one individual. That is beautiful. Not as beautiful as Daniel Craig.
Charlie
Leona.
Charlie
We're not fucking around.
You will resign when I fire you out of petty malice and not before.
Charlie
Our trust numbers are--
Charlie
They're fatal.
Firing Jerry was obviously the right thing to do, but it wasn't enough and we've known that for two months. Charlie and I have to go.
McMac. Can I call you McMac? Doesn't matter, I'm gonna anyway, McMac. Your head's up your ass.
Guy comes in here into my hizzy-- guy comes in here, cooks an interview, no remorse. It goes on air. You, I don't know what you'd do to Sherlock Holmes this thing. I wouldn't be able to figure it out and I'm the smartest person in the room.
Well, I wouldn't go that--
Oh, shut the fuck up, you Daniel Craig wannabe.
I don't want to be Daniel Craig.
Well, you should want to be Daniel Craig. Everybody should.
[catching sight of her own reflection in a window] You know, my makeup lasts a long time.
No, no, please, call me-- Continue to call me Mrs. Lansing.
Guy comes into my house which I love. Which I bet you guys didn't know. But I love it. I love ACN. You don't make me a nickel and you cause headaches for the divisions that do, but you make me-- You make me so proud. God, guy comes in here, cooks an interview, and this ends up with-- 'Cause he's unemployable he gets a $5 million settlement and the three of you leave? Oh, I don't think so. And McMac. That's a name that's really starting to grow on me. She doesn't have to go. Nobody's ever heard of her. But she's going to do the honorable thing. And what's expected of me, huh? Not to do the honorable thing? What's expected of me? [shouting] No, I do not accept your resignations! And Jerry Dantana's not gonna get one FUCKING dollar! [in a normal tone] I got some kick-ass courtroom outfits.
You have to accept our resignations and you have to settle. He'll take it to trial and win. There was an institutional failure and he was the only one fired.
Then you'll need a good lawyer. Lee, don't accept their resignations.
I already wasn't accepting their resignations, Becca. Don't horn in on my honorable thing. God, I mean, can't a lady have--
Charlie
[in desperation] Leona, we don't have the trust of the public anymore!
Charlie
If a news outlet doesn't have credibility, it doesn't matter what else it has. That's a fact. There are people here from Jane Barrow, Terry Smith, everyone at the DC bureau to Sloan Sabbith, Elliot Hirsch, everyone on Dayside, these people don't deserve to have a piano strapped to their back. Their credibility shouldn't-- (to Rebecca) When did you arrive here?
Charlie
I think it's commendable and pretty shocking that you want to do something just because it's the right thing to do, but it's not the right thing to do.
Charlie
What do you mean?
I think you were responsible for a massive fuck up. I think Will was the face of a massive fuck up. I think firing a mid-level producer appears to be an abdication of responsibility. Now we're gonna have to read about Jim and Maggie and Don and Jim and Maggie and Don and Maggie and Mac and Will and did Sloan punch a guy in the face?
Charlie
Yeah.
The train, she is wrecked.
Charlie
Why are you gleeful?
I'm on the right team for once and I get really paid.
Charlie
Are you saying you agree?
I think your resignation should be accepted immediately and we should write Dantana a check and get to the business of rebooting this once respected brand.
Charlie
Then why don't you?
[sheepishly] My mom says I can't.
Charlie
[incredulous] Reese!
Charlie
You ever read Jedediah Purdy, For Common Things?
Charlie
He talks about cynical times. People having terminal irony with a studied refusal to hope or care openly. Does that sound like us?
Charlie
No. Have you asked yourself tonight why we never reported the Petraeus story?
Charlie
Remember? David Petraeus is resigning on Thursday.
Charlie
That's funny.
Charlie
It's because we never made the trade. The decision was that the other story had information voters needed, the Petraeus story didn't. Not that many voters. It would have affected maybe a few thousand, tops. In one district, one seat. As opposed to breaking two days early what will be a giant story. Breaking it in front of an Election Night audience. And the decision to decline the trade was made instantly and unanimously. Don pushed back reflexively, but he came around in seven seconds. Don. We've come a long way. I'm not resigning. And neither are you. What, are we out of our fucking minds? Dantana doctored the tape. That's what happened, Will. We know the truth and the mob doesn't. When did we decide it was an institutional failure? We waited 11 months. We know people who would have gone after the second red team meeting or even the first. You agree with what I'm saying?
I believe, except for the things we did wrong, we did everything right. And I can't live with Mac taking the blame for--
Charlie
We'll get the audience's trust back. Like Leona said, we're gonna overcome the terminal irony. And the laundry list of embarrassing things in the complaint? I've got to tell you, I'm not embarrassed. The Zimmerman tape, Jim going to New Hampshire, Sloan punching a guy in arbitrage-- I actually like that one. [pause, he notices Will is staring off into space] I can't tell what you're thinking. [pause] Will? It's gotten strange now. Are you able to hear me speaking? She--
Except for the things she did wrong, she did everything right, too. The rest was me.
The Newsroom · 118 quotes
