Mac McHale quotes from The Newsroom

Will

What does winning look like to you?

Mac

Reclaiming the fourth estate. Reclaiming journalism as an honorable profession. A nightly newscast that informs a debate worthy of a great nation. Civility, respect, and a return to what's important; the death of bitchiness; the death of gossip and voyeurism; speaking truth to stupid. No demographic sweet spot; a place where we all come together.

Mac

Now I'd like you to listen to these words which were written 500 years ago by Don Miguel de Cervantes: "Hear me now, O thou bleak and unbearable world. Thou art base and debauched as can be. But a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!" That was Don Quixote.

Will

Those words were written 45 years ago by the lyricist for "Man of La Mancha."

Mac

Didn't think you'd know that, but the point's still the same-- it's time for Don Quixote!

Will

You think I'm him?

Mac

No, I think I'm him. You're his horse.

Will

He rode a donkey.

Mac

Well, I can't help you there.

Will

They're very young out there.

Mac

I know. But what they lack in experience, they make up for in inexperience.

Will

Mac–

Mac

It's an asset. They don't know how to do the news badly yet.

Will

Or really at all.

Mac

You're going on a date with a cheerleader?

Will

Not a high school cheerleader, a professional cheerleader.

Mac

That doesn't make it better!

Will

Can I help you?

Mac

She's a student!

Will

A graduate student.

Mac

In philosophy?

Will

Physical therapy.

Mac

There are better ways to get back at me.

Will

I'll put up a suggestion box.

Mac

Can I warn you about something? You're a rich and famous person, and for that reason only, she may want to sleep with you.

Will

That didn't sound like something that should come with a warning, that sounded like something that should come with balloons.

Mac

... I loathe you right now.

Will

You have ink on your face.

Mac

I WORK WITH PENS!

Will

Get a grip!

Mac

I know.

Mac

Honey are you saying the United States of America is getting out-lawyered?

Will

Don't call him honey it makes me crazy. I didn't say that, it came out of my mouth... just...words.

Mac

Back in 15 seconds Will, try not to date anyone before you're on the air.

Will

Copy, Mac, try not to sleep with your ex-boyfriend while I am.

Mac

[to self] He got the better of that exchange.

Will

Mac, get in here with Charlie right now.

Mac

Is everything-

Will

Right now! [points to Charlie as he enters] You tell Leona that if she wants me out of this chair, she better bring more than just a couple of guys.

Charlie

That's exactly what I'll fucking tell her!

Will

I'm not fucking around, Charlie!!!

Charlie

Feet of fucking steel!

Will

Mac-

Mac

I'm sorry.

Will

It's not your fault.

Mac

I fucked everything up!

Will

It's gonna be all right.

Don

[entering the room] What the fuck is going on?!

Will

You're a fucking newsman, Don! I ever tell you otherwise, you punch me in the face!!!

Don

[considers this for a moment] Okay, but you're back in 30.

What are they doing to contain the situation? What's going on with Will?

Mac

Internal security is handling it. But I have to give you a rotten assignment.

You got gum in your hair again?

Mac

No! Yes, but I got it out. I need you to do opposition research on Will.

Seriously?

Mac

About a year ago, somebody filed a complaint with HR on your behalf.

Maggie

I know what that was. Will didn't do anything wrong. This is ridiculous.

Mac

I know, but Charlie wants to know what else is out there so he can--

Will knows we're doing this?

Mac

Of course.

And he's okay with it?

Mac

No, he hates it.

Fantastic.

Mac

Go to work.

Maggie

Have you done this before?

Yeah.

Maggie

Where do we start?

Tell me about the complaint.

Maggie

There was a desk producer who saw Will yell at me about something.

What?

Maggie

Doesn't matter.

What?

Maggie

Doesn't matter. [Jim raises his eyebrows. Maggie sighs] I mixed up Georgia the state with--

No.

Maggie

Yes, Georgia the country.

And this was...

Maggie

Yup. This isn't about me.

During the invasion? You thought the Russians invaded Atlanta?

Maggie

In retrospect, it seems farfetched. But that wasn't what he was actually mad about. The wife of a board member died and Will asked me to send flowers. I wrote on the card, "I'm so sorry about your loss. LOL."

LOL?

Maggie

I thought it meant "lots of love."

How are you still working here?

Maggie

I dodge bullets. Here comes a bullet. Boom! I'm over here. Ping! Here comes another bullet. Boom! I'm over here.

Mac

When was the last time you checked your emails?

Charlie

15 seconds ago.

Mac

[To Will] When was the last time you did?

Will

Hmm?

Mac

Look at your BlackBerry.

Mac

Press the buttons!

Will

Sure... [he reads emails on his Blackberry] Okay, not tonight but in days to come, uh, you'll look back and think this moment was funny.

Mac

[reading the Blackberry] It's from 20 minutes ago.

Will

(chuckling) Yeah...

Charlie

What's it say?

Mac

'OBL re portable. Knock 'em dead just like we did.'

Charlie

Who's it from?

Mac

Joe Biden!

Charlie

Are you kidding me?!

Will

We used to play softball together when he was in the Senate, he knows something about the landing leg--

Charlie

GET ON THE AIR!!!

Mac

We're going!

Charlie

[to Will] When did you turn into Ted Baxter?

Sloan

Unless there's a rally—

Mac

I'm sorry, I've gotta—

Sloan

Listen.

Mac

Sloan...

Sloan

Unless there's a rally in the next 90 minutes, the Dow is gonna close down about 2.5%, S&P NASDAQ will close down 2.3. Let me tell you why.

Mac

I don't own a lot of stock...

Sloan

Let me tell you why.

Mac

[upset] I really can't deal with this right now—

Sloan

[raising her voice] Stop avoiding this! I just got off the phone with these guys. Listen to these quotes. These aren't from liberals. These are hardcore Wall Street guys who, whatever the world may think of them, know what they're talking about and so do I. Jamie Dimon at Chase says: "Voting against raising the debt ceiling would be a moral disaster." The Barclay's guys say "This debate is detached from reality." My Goldman source says: "If the House Republicans continue this debate, I hope they're willing to mark the end of the dollar as the Global Reserve Currency." Please notice that he didn't say: "If the House Republicans don't raise the debt ceiling." HE SAID: "If the House Republicans continue this debate." That's all it takes. Just the uncertainty. That's why the Dow is gonna close down 230 points today. Because just the debate. Just the doubt. Just the possibility that the House Majority might commit the greatest self-inflicted damage to [raising her voice] the country since the SECESSION OF THE SOUTH has caused billions in value to disappear."

Mac

Sloan, I understand. I swear to God I do. But you can't say the same thing in the C-block?

Sloan

Don't pretend that you don't know that most people watch 10 minutes of news. The first 10 minutes.

Mac

The vote isn't until tomorrow night and it's only the first vote and you said yourself it was cosmetic. Why do we have to feature it tonight?

Sloan

We should've been featuring it weeks ago. We should've been leading with it every night.

Mac

Why do we have to feature it tonight?

Sloan

To give time for the people to call their Congressman and say: "If you fuck with the full faith and credit of the US Treasury, you're fired!" To give time for the people to jam the phone lines of the District Offices, to give the people TIME to say: "I'm a fiscal conservative, and you've gotta put the pin back in the grenade right now." That's why.

Mac

I'm gonna do everything I can.

Sloan

[upset] Please do.

Mac

[to Sloan] Look, I'll do my best to find you the time you need for the story. We just need to hope there's no new piece of nonsense I have to jam into my 22 minutes of Short Attention Span Theater.

Anthony Weiner accidentally tweeted a picture of his groin to 40,000 followers. [Mac whimpers]

Mac

A miracle. A miracle happens. We become a team again. We all hate this, right?

Gary

We're gonna hate it more after 10 minutes of no air conditioning.

Mac

No, not the power outage. We hate what we're doing. We hate that we're covering Casey Anthony and Anthony Weiner. We hate that we have to do it to save the ratings. We hate that we have to bump important stories. And we're starting to be not very pleasant people to be around. Guys, this is real. I'm not making this up. Just a minute ago when I was prepping for a pretape with that idiot who's still sitting in the studio-

Are you talking about me?

Mac

No! Yes. When when I was prepping for her pretape I said, "God, please show me a sign that I'm not doing a big thing badly." And right that second all the power went out. And so obviously I thought, "There's my answer."

Will

Raise your hand if Mac's freaking you the hell out right now. [He and Don raise their hand]

Mac

No, listen to me!

Will

Just tell us how we do the show if the power doesn't-

Mac

By being a team again. And that was God's plan.

Will

Keep God out of this and talk more about electricity.

Mac

Does anybody think we're not good enough to pull this off?

No!

Should I still be sitting here?

Mac

I'm so sorry, Sandy. I know you had your heart set on entertaining us with private details of a man you were sexting with and maybe a "Playboy" spread, but we're not able to do pretape. So if you want to do the show, you're gonna have to do it live.

I already committed to Fox, and no offense but it's a bigger audience.

Mac

Shoot! Does anybody think we can't do this?

No!

Mac

This is a blessing in disguise. I say the power going out is the best thing that ever happened to us. I say the power going out is what is gonna save this-

Mac

-Son of a bitch!

He'll cave. He'll agree to the debate on their terms.

Mac

No, he won't.

You romanticize Will.

Mac

Mm-hmm.

That mock debate was about him. He was the star. He attacked his--

Mac

He didn't attack anybody. He asked questions that the candidates should be able to answer and that the voters should be able to hear them answer. He didn't cower and he wasn't Ed McMahon.

Thinking there was even a remote chance--

Mac

Maybe it was naive.

It wasn't naive, it was hubris.

Mac

It was gutsy and you're just jealous.

Jealous of what? You know, fuck you, Mac. I've spent this week letting you kick my ass from here to the Chrysler Building because you were selling out every 15 minutes to get your hands on something you didn't get. And you were embarrassed by it in front of me. He doesn't want you.

Mac

Please don't talk about my personal life.

I'm sort of a key player in it. Is it all right if I talk about my personal life? Yes, I broke up with you. I'm the first guy ever to break up with a woman. And then I came back. Also unprecedented. Did he come back?

Mac

I don't know yet.

Seriously? After four years? In "Castaway," Helen Hunt got remarried in less time than-- I never would have gone with the Casey Anthony story. I don't care how much of my audience I was losing. And he's gonna cave on the debate, too.

Mac

Are you sure about that?

I am absolutely sure about that.

Mac

You know what I like about Will? He's not absolutely sure about anything. He struggles with things. He's never certain he's right and sometimes he's not. But he tries hard to be. He struggles with things.

Mac

Could someone help Will put his pants on?

Mac

[after hearing about Maggie and Lisa] Do you want to end up like me and him?

No!

Mac

Wasting time? And now he's practically dead.

Will

I'm not practically dead.

Mac

Eat some Jell-O! You've got to do something before he asks her!

No.

Mac

Why not?

It doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do to Don. Or Maggie. Or Lisa!

Mac

So you're willing to end up like the two of us- a strong, beautiful, vital woman and a hollowed-out shell of a man?

Will

You know I'm awake now?

Mac

That's a dead person speaking, basically. And now I'm gonna have to spend the next God knows how many hours in mourning.

Will

Sorority girl!

Mac

[to Jennifer] Don't be scared.

Will

You're the girl, right?

I'm Jennifer Johnson.

Will

Just graduated Northwestern?

Mac

Stay calm.

A year early.

Will

You asked me that moronic question and then my world came apart and she came here and I landed in the tabloids and I got death threats and my job is constantly in jeopardy and you ruined my life?

Mac

Again, just stay calm.

Yes, that was me.

Will

What the hell are you doing here?

I'm applying for an internship.

Will

Why?

I watch the show and I read the "New York Magazine" article and I know what a greater fool is. And I want to be one.

Will

"Camelot"- she's the kid at the end of "Camelot." Ask me again.

I'm sorry?

Will

Ask me your idiot question again.

What makes America the greatest country in the world?

Will

[To Jennifer] You do. [To Mac] Hire her.