Will McAvoy quotes from The Newsroom

Will

Mac, get in here with Charlie right now.

Mac

Is everything-

Will

Right now! [points to Charlie as he enters] You tell Leona that if she wants me out of this chair, she better bring more than just a couple of guys.

Charlie

That's exactly what I'll fucking tell her!

Will

I'm not fucking around, Charlie!!!

Charlie

Feet of fucking steel!

Will

Mac-

Mac

I'm sorry.

Will

It's not your fault.

Mac

I fucked everything up!

Will

It's gonna be all right.

Don

[entering the room] What the fuck is going on?!

Will

You're a fucking newsman, Don! I ever tell you otherwise, you punch me in the face!!!

Don

[considers this for a moment] Okay, but you're back in 30.

Hey, Will... we're journalists.

Will

I wish you hadn't said that.

What?

Will

Everything would have been cool if you hadn't said that. You just talk too much.

You have a problem with me calling myself a journalist? Only the elite few who cover stories nobody cares about get to call themselves–

Will

I've got a guy on my staff who got hit in the head with a glass door Thursday. His forehead wouldn't stop bleeding, but he wouldn't go to a doctor 'cause I got another guy who got beat up covering Cairo. And the first guy wouldn't see a doctor until the second guy saw a doctor. I've got a producer who ran into a locked door 'cause he felt responsible for the second guy. I've got an 18-year-old kid risking his life halfway around the world. And the AP who sent him there? Hasn't slept in three days. I've got 20-somethings who care about teachers in Wisconsin. I've got a grown woman who has to subtract with her fingers staying up all night trying to learn economics from a PhD who could be making 20 times the money three miles downtown. They're journalists. [his voice becoming quieter and more menacing] Come after me all you want, Nina. Come after me every day. Look through my garbage. Invent things out of thin air - that's what you're paid for. But you touch my staff, and you are walking into a world of hurt. I have an hour of prime time every night, and I will re-dedicate my life to ruining yours. I also want you to send a message up the chain of whatever back room machinery that's driving this that if I so much as smell Leona Lansing's perfume on any of this, I'm going to make a meal out of both of you, and I'm not going to stop until I'm done. Look at me... [waits for her to do so] ...And see that I'm dead serious. [voids the cheque] Restaurants are bad investments. Wait twenty minutes until you leave here.

Tough-ass speech. But you're not gonna win.

Will

Nah, I don't care. I'm just a middle-aged man who never lived up to his potential. You don't want to be on the wrong end of me if I ever do. I got the drinks. [leaves]

Any extra stress at work?

Will

Extra stress?

Yeah.

Will

No.

No extra stress?

Will

No.

One more question.

Will

Sure.

What are you fucking around with me for?

Will

I'm sorry?

What are you fucking around with me for? I just asked you if there's any extra stress at work–

Will

There isn't. There isn't.

What about the death threat?

Will

Miss Greer, you mentioned creeping Islam, are you concerned about creeping Christianity?

[laughing] Only that it's not creeping fast enough.

Will

Okay. Here are some things done on American soil in the name of Christianity. The Ku Klux Klan burned down black churches, raped women, murdered civil rights workers, murdered children and terrorized communities for over a century. The neo nazis all acted and continue to act in the name of white christian supremacy. The army of god fatally attacks abortion clinics and doctors across the country. The covenant, the sword and the arm of the lord targets local police and federal agents. The federal building in Oklahoma City. The attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan and the successful assassinations of Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, John Lennon, and Abraham Lincoln, all perpetrated by Christians. Miss Greer, we weren't attacked by Muslims, we were attacked by sociopaths, and I for one would join you in protesting a community center for the criminally insane, but no one is suggesting building one.

Will

Who Else's body have you guarded?

We don't talk about that.

Will

Okay.

Kanye. [pause] It was awesome.

Will

Are you armed?

I secure my weapon in a gun safe when I come in the building.

Will

Keep it there. I really don't want an armed guard. Maybe if you were drafted in the first four rounds, I'd feel safer.

Mr. McAvoy.

Will

You can call me Will.

Yeah, I was gonna do that anyway. I know you're used to being the boss. But you're not anymore. At least for a little while.

Will

How long?

Until my colleagues chase down the source of the threat or, of course, if you've been successfully assassinated.

Will

A joke?

What'd you think?

Will

It was all right. How does this work?

I pick you up at your home in the morning and escort you to your office. Then I pick you up at your office at night and escort you to your home. I'm with you any place that's an unsecured area.

Will

What's an unsecured area?

Anyplace that isn't your home or your office.

Will

I'm single. What about a date?

I don't think we should get romantically involved.

Will

You get one joke a day.

Will

[holding a bag of pot cookies] Just to be clear for you youngsters, this isn't recreational. It's medicinal. When I was a junior in high school, I was already throwing a 74-mile-an-hour fastball, which puts a lot of stress on your landing leg. I also have epicondylitis in my elbow due to my mess-you-up breaking ball.

You know, if you just want to bake, that's okay with me. You don't need to go to WebMD to come up with symptoms.

Will

I don't want to bake. I'm telling you I was an awesome high school athlete, but it's left me in constant physical pain in my knee and elbow. And experts say that medical marijuana relieves the pain and inflammation with fewer side effects than prescription pain killers.

Which experts?

Will

The ones on WebMD. Anyway, thank you and thank your friend in LA for getting this for me.

No problem. He said they're pretty strong. So you should just break off a quarter and eat that.

Neal

And when this guy says they're strong, they're strong.

Will

[looking worried for a moment] ...I ate two.

Okay, well...enjoy yourself and we'll see you in 12 to 14 hours.

Will

It's fine. I have incredibly high tolerance. That's why I can't feel the Vicodin.

Neal

You took Vicodin and then ate two cookies?

Will

Mmm hmm.

[To Neal] He's fine. [To Will] You're fine...just try to stay away from anything dangerous...electricity, y'know...outside...

Charlie

You had to protect your sisters and your brothers and your mom from a pretty violent father, it sounds like. Do it again. I got faith in you.

Will

Why?

Charlie

I'm out of options.

Mac

When was the last time you checked your emails?

Charlie

15 seconds ago.

Mac

[To Will] When was the last time you did?

Will

Hmm?

Mac

Look at your BlackBerry.

Mac

Press the buttons!

Will

Sure... [he reads emails on his Blackberry] Okay, not tonight but in days to come, uh, you'll look back and think this moment was funny.

Mac

[reading the Blackberry] It's from 20 minutes ago.

Will

(chuckling) Yeah...

Charlie

What's it say?

Mac

'OBL re portable. Knock 'em dead just like we did.'

Charlie

Who's it from?

Mac

Joe Biden!

Charlie

Are you kidding me?!

Will

We used to play softball together when he was in the Senate, he knows something about the landing leg--

Charlie

GET ON THE AIR!!!

Mac

We're going!

Charlie

[to Will] When did you turn into Ted Baxter?

I'm asking why you reached out to me.

Will

Because, your recent complications notwithstanding, you cover the media better than anyone out there.

You haven't lost your touch for complimenting and insulting someone at the same time.

Will

Thank you. I appreciate it.

You look like you're in pain.

He is.

Will

He said in pain, not a pain.

Oh, never mind, then.

What is it?

Will

I'm doing all these things that are wrong because of ratings, and I'm making the staff do things that they don't want to do, I'm cursing them out, I'm ignoring incredibly important new stories, and I'm betraying the trust of people who respect me. And I did it all in the blink of an eye.

That can be traumatic.

Will

No, I'm fine with all of that. Here's my thing. New York Magazine is gonna do a story on my show and I get to choose the writer. And I could have chosen anybody and I chose Mackenzie's ex-boyfriend.

Of course. The one she cheated on you with?

Will

Yeah.

Why?

Will

That's what I came here to ask you.

You're holding your hand over the candle.

Will

What do you mean?

You're holding your hand over the candle because you think the trick is not minding.

Will

Ah. So if I just get through this, I'll be fine.

No.

Will

Why?

Because the trick isn't not minding. The trick is forgiving Mackenzie.

Will

It would be easier to hold my hand over the candle.

I know.

Will

Well, you've been no help at all, but thanks. Sorry to barge in.

You know, while working your way through this, you're hurting Mackenzie.

Will

I know that.

Mac

A miracle. A miracle happens. We become a team again. We all hate this, right?

Gary

We're gonna hate it more after 10 minutes of no air conditioning.

Mac

No, not the power outage. We hate what we're doing. We hate that we're covering Casey Anthony and Anthony Weiner. We hate that we have to do it to save the ratings. We hate that we have to bump important stories. And we're starting to be not very pleasant people to be around. Guys, this is real. I'm not making this up. Just a minute ago when I was prepping for a pretape with that idiot who's still sitting in the studio-

Are you talking about me?

Mac

No! Yes. When when I was prepping for her pretape I said, "God, please show me a sign that I'm not doing a big thing badly." And right that second all the power went out. And so obviously I thought, "There's my answer."

Will

Raise your hand if Mac's freaking you the hell out right now. [He and Don raise their hand]

Mac

No, listen to me!

Will

Just tell us how we do the show if the power doesn't-

Mac

By being a team again. And that was God's plan.

Will

Keep God out of this and talk more about electricity.

Mac

Does anybody think we're not good enough to pull this off?

No!

Should I still be sitting here?

Mac

I'm so sorry, Sandy. I know you had your heart set on entertaining us with private details of a man you were sexting with and maybe a "Playboy" spread, but we're not able to do pretape. So if you want to do the show, you're gonna have to do it live.

I already committed to Fox, and no offense but it's a bigger audience.

Mac

Shoot! Does anybody think we can't do this?

No!

Mac

This is a blessing in disguise. I say the power going out is the best thing that ever happened to us. I say the power going out is what is gonna save this-

Mac

-Son of a bitch!

Will

Our job is to find the two candidates who'll give the voters the best competing arguments, and I don't believe we're seeing that. We have to put the candidates on a witness stand.

Would you have them swear an oath?

Just let 'em do it.

Will

If baseball players testifying about steroids in front of a House Subcommittee are subject to perjury, I don't know why presidential candidates aren't. But I'm not reaching for the stars, I'm reaching just an inch higher.

Will

[in the mock debate] Senator Santorum, you said that your campaign is about freedom and that 20 years from now you don't want to be telling your grandchildren how America once was free. Name three freedoms you had the day before President Obama was sworn in that you don't have now.

Don

[as Santorum] Obamacare, to begin with. Obamacare is the most egregious--

Will

Have you had to change doctors?

Don

[as Santorum] May I finish?

Will

No, sir. Have you had to change doctors?

Don

[as Santorum] No.

Will

Has anyone in your family had to change doctors? Has there been any change at all in health care for you or your family?

Don

[as Santorum] I'm talking about Obamacare now.

Will

My question was name three freedoms that you had the day before the president was sworn in that you don't have now. [to Maggie as Gingrich] Mr. Speaker, you just said that if you're elected, the price of gas will be $2.50 a gallon. How does the US President control the price of oil? [to Martin as Romney] Governor, you've said that as president you will never apologize for America. This question is in two parts. Name an instance in which the president has apologized for America and can you imagine no instance in which a US president should apologize for America?

Maggie

[as Gingrich] Mr. McAvoy, I find it reprehensible that the liberal media would try to pit Republicans against one another. And I, for one, won't stand by while it happens.

Will

This is the Republican primary, Mr. Speaker, and you're running for the nomination. It wasn't my idea to pit you against anyone. It was yours.

[in Will's office] I told you, this guy--

Will

[walking in] This guy what?

Wasn't on the team.

He's on the team, okay?

Will

Hang on. The team I'm on is the voters' and smart, qualified people disagreeing about issues.

Your plan was to embarrass the candidates.

Will

I want candidates who can answer those questions. And if they know they're going to be held responsible for the nonsense they're shouting on the stump, they'll be forced to stop shouting nonsense.

This guy has lost his mind.

He hasn't.

Will

Adam, this is exactly what we always talked about. This is what we dreamed of. We said we need real campaign reform and a way of letting Americans hear the two best competing arguments.

Nobody could stand up to that kind of questioning.

Will

You think that was brutal questioning?

It really wasn't.

And you honestly believe the candidates would submit themselves to this?

They should welcome it.

I don't believe what I'm hearing.

Any candidate who can handle a cross is gonna find himself at the top of the polls in the morning. And we should welcome it 'cause it'll clear out the clown car and give us a serious discussion among serious candidates.

The only person who would welcome it is him. This is about him. He wants to look tough by making the candidates look like idiots.

No, he doesn't. I have known this man for 25 years and I vouch--

I don't care what you vouch for. I am not allowing the goddamn press to make fools out of our candidates.

I'll remember that the next time you bitch about how the press never vetted Obama.

[to Will] We're not agreeing to this format. You are going to abide by the rules that we give you and I don't want Mackenzie McHale producing it for you.

Will

What are you talking about?

I want the old Will McAvoy. Not the thing she turned you into. I know all about that lady.

Will

Get out.

Will, come on. You need the debate. Of course he can use Mackenzie.

Will

These guys have been compromising and compromising all week so we could host a debate that made some sense and did some good.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that, because it was all for nothing.

We need ACN.

No, we don't.

They've got the independents.

He's not the only anchor at ACN. [marches out of office] Don Keefer.

Don

Yeah?

How would you and Elliot Hirsch like to have one of the debates?

Don

Eat me.

Mr. Skinner, I'm trying to be as-

Charlie

When Don says, "Eat me," that's usually the end of the conversation.

Sloan Sabbith. You want to be a star?

Sloan

Me?

Yeah.

Sloan

Fuck you.

[To Adam] I hate these guys. I don't know why you don't.

Mac

[after hearing about Maggie and Lisa] Do you want to end up like me and him?

No!

Mac

Wasting time? And now he's practically dead.

Will

I'm not practically dead.

Mac

Eat some Jell-O! You've got to do something before he asks her!

No.

Mac

Why not?

It doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do to Don. Or Maggie. Or Lisa!

Mac

So you're willing to end up like the two of us- a strong, beautiful, vital woman and a hollowed-out shell of a man?

Will

You know I'm awake now?

Mac

That's a dead person speaking, basically. And now I'm gonna have to spend the next God knows how many hours in mourning.