The Mentalist quotes

Jane

So you're going down the steps, relaxing with each step, and now you reach the bottom, the very last step, the ultimate place of calm. How are you feeling?

Lisbon

Good.

Jane

Good. You're going to remain in this relaxed trance state while we think about Tuesday night. But first, sometimes you dance to that Spice girls CD, don't you?

Lisbon

Yeah. [She smiles with her eyes closed and does a little jiggle in her chair, as if she's playing the music in her head]

Jane

I thought so. [He grins] Now, Tuesday. You can watch whole day like it's a movie. Every detail is in focus. You can zoom into any moment you want. You can fast forward, rewind. You are in total control. Okay?

Lisbon

Okay.

Jane

Good. What do you see?

Lisbon

I'm finishing up the Form 41s on the Milbank case. I feel... hungry, 'cause I skipped lunch. The new guy in the mail room is hot.

Jane

Is he?

Lisbon

Yeah.

Jane

[looks a bit put out] Let's fast forward a little. Later in the day, you're about to leave CBI.

Lisbon

Van Pelt's working late. She's a hard worker. She might do well, if she manages not to sleep with Rigsby.

[talking about Lisbon] You're worried about her. You think she might do something stupid?

Jane

Suicide? No. If she did, she wouldn't blame the bureau.

That's not my concern at all!

Grace

So how about you give us a statement; maybe help yourself.

How 'bout you kiss me. (He leans across the table) You're pretty.

Grace

So are you, [pause, with no change in her facial expression] compared to most state prison inmates.

Dr. Carmen

What do you do for fun?

Lisbon

Fun?!

Dr. Carmen

That thing when you're not working.

Lisbon

[about Nina Hodge] If she followed her husband before, she could have tailed him again and killed him.

Jane

No, she didn't do it. She loved him.

Lisbon

She was a prisoner of her husbands life. She gets rid of him, gets a fresh start.

Jane

People trapped in miserable lives, always talk about escaping. Few actually do it. It's easier just to close your eyes and pretend the misery doesn't exist.

Jane

You know, you're a very good liar. Most people subconsciously signal dishonesty, but you? There's nothing. No inner conflict. Usually, that's the mark of what shrinks like to call a sociopath.

Well, if by "sociopath" you mean that if you cross me, I would enjoy watching you suffer pain before I kill you... then, yeah, I'm a sociopath.

Jane

You can buy logo merchandise, Sinner Saints coffee mugs, decals, beach towels. Whoa! And some various other interesting little knickknacks.

Lisbon

Nice.

Jane

Yeah. Well, if they do it, we should do it. A range of casual wear, maybe? Sensible shoes?

Lisbon

I'll get right on that.

Jane

[To himsel] Lisbon loafers.

I'm a sadist and I bore easily.

Jane

Me, I see a difficult childhood, bad parenting, a lot of torment. But I also see how that suffering gave you great powers of empathy and a strong creative side and those are the qualities you should try and nurture in yourself. Not this brutish character you try to hide behind.

Jane

Oh, it's lovely.

Lisbon

It's a crime scene.

Jane

It's a lovely crime scene.

Jane

Okay, I needed Lucas to see Felicia get arrested, you needed hard evidence to charge Felicia. So...I made it happen.

Lisbon

By making an innocent woman think she was going to prison? As if her life wasn't hard enough already.

Jane

Yes, you're right. She does deserve some justice.

Lisbon

It's good to see you care.

Jane

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Rigsby

[On entering the lawyer's office] Jimmy marks on the door knob.

Cho

I doubt that was part of the original décor.

Cho

Talked to Van Pelt recently?

Rigsby

Yep.

Cho

Any progress?

Rigsby

Nope.

Jane

What's up, my brothers?

Lisbon

[to Von McBride] We just have one quick follow-up question for you.

[sighs] I've exceeded my quota of answering cops' questions. [Points at Jane] And my quota of crazy.

(talking about Jane) What's this guy's problem?

Lisbon

That would take way too long to answer.

Rigsby

There's a man there. I think she's, you know...

Cho

Banging a homeless guy.

Rigsby

No! A volunteer. A chef. And she's not — I don't know.. not yet... maybe... I think... I don't... no.

Cho

Dude, you need counseling.