Ryoko quotes from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Ryoko

I'm getting bored and just fed up watching something that doesn't seem to be changing at all. That's why…I'm going to kill you and see how Miss Suzumiya reacts.

Ryoko

Oh please, won't you just give up? You're going to die no matter what, so let me kill you.

Taniguchi

Hey, Kyon. You need to tell me what kind of magic spell you're using!

Kyon

What're you talking about?

Taniguchi

I have never seen Suzumiya talk that long before, and I'm not exaggerating, man! The hell'd you say to her?

Kyon

[Thinking] Huh...Wonder what I could have said to her...I think it was all pretty random stuff.

Taniguchi

This is a phenomenon.

Kyon's always gone after the strange ones. The weirder the better.

Kyon

Little louder, please, so everyone can hear you. [Ryoko approaches Kyon]

I wanna know how you did it. No matter how much I try to talk to her, I can't get Haruhi to answer any of my questions. What do you do to get her to open up? Do you have any tips for me?

Kyon

[Crosses arms] No idea.

Ryoko

Hm...Still, I think it's a good thing. I've been sort of worried about her always completely alone in our class. I think it's really great that she's made at least one friend here.

Kyon

A friend, huh?

Ryoko

Well, just keep doing whatever you're doing, 'cause maybe she'll warm up to the rest of us. I mean, since we're all in the same class, it'd really be for the best if everyone got along. And that's why I'm counting on you.

Kyon

[Thinking] Easy for you to say.

Ryoko

In fact, from now on, if there's ever anything we need to say to her, we'll just talk to you and you can tell her for us.

Kyon

[Aloud] Hey, hang on a sec. What do you think I am? Am I supposed to be your spokesperson or something?

Ryoko

[Folds hands and closes an eye.] Pretty please? [Runs back over to a group of girls who giggle in Kyon's direction. Taniguchi then grabs Kyon by the shoulders and starts rocking him back and forth.]

Taniguchi

Kyon, we're buddies, aren't we? We're pals, right?

Kyon

[Thinking] Everyone's turned into an idiot.

Kyon

[Narrating] By the next day, the name "Haruhi Suzumiya" had become infamous. Now everyone at school was talking about her.

Taniguchi

Hey, Kyon. Hate to say it, but it looks like you've gone and done it. You've become one of Suzumiya's gang of weirdos huh?

Kyon

Oh, shut up. [Thinking] The sucky thing about being a part of all this is that my name and Miss Asahina's name are floating around campus, too.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing yesterday. A couple of bunny girls hanging around the school's main gate. I mean, the girl in red was Mikuru Asahina, wasn't it?

Taniguchi

Now everybody in school's talking about you guys, Kyon. Everybody.

Ryoko

What exactly is this SOS Brigade?

Kyon

You're gonna have to ask Suzumiya. I really don't know. I don't even wanna know.

Ryoko

Well, it definitely looks like you guys are having a lot of fun, but you know, yesterday's stunt was a little overboard.

Kyon

What the hell, is she serious? Wait what just happened? Why is Asakura coming after me with a knife? Whoa wait a minute, what did she just say "I'm gonna kill you"?

Kyon

Stop kidding around! You're gonna hurt someone with that! Even if that's a rubber knife, you're scaring the hell out of me!

Ryoko

You think it's a…joke? Huh. You don't want to die? You don't want me to kill you? I'm sorry, but I just don't understand the concept of death regarding organic lifeforms.

Kyon.

Okay, this isn't funny anymore! I don't know why you're doing this, but please, just put the knife down!

Ryoko

I can't, because whether you care about it or not, I really do want you to die.