At our age, having your tonsils out can be dangerous.
At our age, having your hair done can be dangerous.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[inviting Mary to dinner] We're having leftovers from [Edie's] Home Economics class.
That's OK, I love leftovers.
She got a C minus.
I look at a separation like two boxers who are going to their corners between rounds. That doesn't mean the fight is over, Mary. They're just resting!
When you're single in college you don't care who gets married. Now, I can't stand to see a girl walk down the aisle in a movie!
Word to the wise, Mary. The best kind of reunion is one where you don't know anyone.
[badly mispronouncing German] This is Ted Baxter, saying Oof Weederzane.
Now that he's demolished English he's branching out.
[about her boyfriend, Chuck] I don't know what I'm being so picky about. Back home in New York, anyone out on bail would be considered a professional man.
I don't think Barry likes me.
Ted, he hasn't been here long enough not to like you. He's only been here a couple weeks. It takes at least three weeks not to like you.
[upon learning his age has become a discrimination factor for hiring him] I'm forty-five years old. If I were in politics, they'd call me 'the kid.'
GGordy
[fielding the stream of obscene phone calls for Mary] Yes, this is Miss Richards speaking...uh-huh...uh-huh...[other phone rings] Hey look, man. I got another obscene caller. Let me call you back.
How d'ya like that? I flunked a sexual IQ test and passed a national driver's test...and Mary, I'm a lousy driver!
Does anyone happen to remember this morning's memo about personal calls during business hours? Murray?
Well, how can we forget? It isn't often you'll see the words 'don't', 'no', 'not', 'never' and 'forbid' in the same sentence.
The man has a phone in his car! How many guys do you know who can make a call from their car?
MMike
My cousin can.
He's probably a big lawyer too?
MMike
No, he's a big cop.
Gustavo here is the nice man who arranged for Rhoda and me to go to San Leon. He owns that new Mexican restaurant down the street.
No kidding? Last time I had New Mexican food was when I worked in Albuquerque.
Mary, I came to Minnesota because of the cold. I figured if I was frozen, I'd keep better.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mary Tyler Moore Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.