Rhoda Morgenstern quotes from The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Rhoda

[after learning her date is married] Next time I'm asked out, no matter how lonely I feel, I'm not going to say 'yes' unless it's a couple I really like.

Rhoda

[to Howard, who is enthralled with Mary] Allow me to introduce myself. I am another person in this room.

Rhoda

Life insurance, huh? I still haven't met a beneficiary.

Rhoda

There are no men friends when you're thirty. They're either fiances or rejects.

Rhoda

[taking a piece of candy] I don't know why I'm putting this in my mouth. I should just apply it directly to my hips.

Rhoda

[about Mary's date Allen, who is much younger] Mary, what are you doing, managing little league?

Rhoda

When you're single in college you don't care who gets married. Now, I can't stand to see a girl walk down the aisle in a movie!

Rhoda

[about her boyfriend, Chuck] I don't know what I'm being so picky about. Back home in New York, anyone out on bail would be considered a professional man.

Rhoda

How d'ya like that? I flunked a sexual IQ test and passed a national driver's test...and Mary, I'm a lousy driver!

Rhoda

Mary, I came to Minnesota because of the cold. I figured if I was frozen, I'd keep better.

Rhoda

[looking at an advertisement of Hal in a magazine] That's the first time I've ever seen my date in his underwear before we went out.

Rhoda

[after a date with Hal Baxter] I made the mistake of asking him which was his bad side. You know, we looked for it for ten minutes. We couldn't find it. We found mine right away, though. It's the front.

Rhoda

[looking through Mary's clothing, trying to find a size that will fit her] Seven...seven...seven. The last time I wore a seven was on the back of a softball uniform.

Mary

Do you ever wonder what kind of mother you'll be?

Rhoda

I don't care so long as it isn't unwed.

Rhoda

And on top of that you speak French.

Mary

Spanish.

Rhoda

Eh, they speak everything in Paris.