TV show quotes
I just want you to know that I'm really very happy for you.
You know, your face doesn't look happy for me.
Oh, really? That's funny. Because it's really very, very happy for you. Really. In fact, my entire body is very pleased.
[taking a piece of candy] I don't know why I'm putting this in my mouth. I should just apply it directly to my hips.
[bragging] I even got cheered for cutting a ribbon at a supermarket!
That's because they didn't think you could do it.
If you've noticed, I'm one of the few producers without a peptic ulcer. One of the reasons for that is, I'm able to delegate blame.
[about his nephew, Allen] What that kid needs is a little understanding, a little compassion, and all that other crap.
[about Mary's date Allen, who is much younger] Mary, what are you doing, managing little league?
[on the phone with Rhoda] I know no one's supposed to be here, but I just heard the elevator...no I can't call the police, what am I going to say, that I heard an elevator? I have to wait until the killer's off the elevator... [hearing people at the door] There he is! And he brought his gang!
[lamenting at the party that he isn't where he should be in life] I might as well face it. I'm a no-talent!
Did somebody put truth serum in the punch?
Ah...that's good wine.
You're drinking Scotch!
It's my favorite kind of wine.
[showing up to the newsroom much earlier than usual] I'm here because I'm upset about being awakened by a 2 A.M. obscene phone call. I've never had anyone say things like that to me.
What are you tellin' me about it for?
Because it was you!
Albania...that's the capital of New York, right?
[about Ted's gift to her] It's the thought that counts.
I know, and he has cheap thoughts.
Murray, I have a surprise for you!
Oh, yeah? Do you have a case of laryngitis?
You don't think I want to stay in the mail room all my life? I've got my eye on another job.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Yours.
[upon seeing Mary wearing her nightie that Rhoda sneaked into her hospital bag] Ah, swell. They didn't tell me I'd be sharing a room with a go-go dancer.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mary Tyler Moore Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
