No hedging! No 'how old do I look'?
[smiles and shrugs her shoulders] Why hedge?
[pauses] Thirty. [opens booze bottle in his desk drawer] What religion are you?
Uh, Mr. Grant, I don't quite know how to say this, but, uh, you're not allowed to ask that when someone's applying for a job. It's against the law.
Good! Would you think I was violating your civil rights if I asked if you're married?
Presbyterian. [Lou stares at her] Uh, well I, I, I decided I would answer your religion question.
Mr. Grant, there's no simple answer to that question!
Yes there is! How 'bout 'no I can't type' or 'yes I can'?
There's no simple answer to why a person isn't married.
How many reasons can there be?
[exasperated] Words per minute. My typing question!
Look, miss! Would you try answering the questions as I ask them?
You know what? You've got spunk.
If I don't like you, I'll fire you. If you don't like me, I'll fire you!
[after learning her date is married] Next time I'm asked out, no matter how lonely I feel, I'm not going to say 'yes' unless it's a couple I really like.
[to Howard, who is enthralled with Mary] Allow me to introduce myself. I am another person in this room.
Mary, where are the idiot cards?
Cue cards, Lou! Cue Cards!
Excuse me, Ted. Mary, could you please give those cue cards to this idiot?
Do you ever wonder what kind of mother you'll be?
I don't care so long as it isn't unwed.
And on top of that you speak French.
Eh, they speak everything in Paris.
Mary, I need your advice about something. Not that you think it's any big deal or anything, but do you think it's too risque for an anchorman to say that he sleeps in the raw?
[Mary turns away in disbelief]
Life insurance, huh? I still haven't met a beneficiary.
I Ida
I never eat, I just nibble.
Well, if you're still hungry, there's half a chicken in the refrigerator.
I Ida
Not anymore--that's what I nibbled.
There are no men friends when you're thirty. They're either fiances or rejects.
See, it didn't bother your mother did it?
Bother her? She made him that way.
[asking Mary about Phyllis, her new assistant] How's Princess Margaret Rose working out?
[about Phyllis] Mary, she's dangerous. She's actually got Baxter convinced he's capable of human thought.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mary Tyler Moore Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
