Listen, darling, you pull this kind of stunt one more time and I'll personally come down there, tear your innards inside out and wear your ribcage like a hat! You understand me?! Good! Now, I love you, too, Daddy. Tell Momma hi. You must be Juniper. What brings you here?
“Making Deals Through the Underworld” · Season 2
In this episode: Juniper Kim Lee (10), Vikki Devyne (6), Referee (2), Monster Mom (1)
Uh, we've got a problem with the monster kids in Orchid Bay. It seems you, um, cut a deal with…
Oh, right, the Thompson boy. Nice kid. Didn't want to be a monster. I love to help people, I'm a real people person. It's really all about love. (speaks into her intercom headset) Bobby, where's my protein shake?! If it's not in here by the time I finish this sentence, you're fired! You're fired, fired! BRING ME MY SHAKE, AND NO BANANA!!!!
Yeah, it's just that… Well, you turned all monster children in Orchid Bay into humans, and not just Evan Thompson.
Listen, sweetheart, I broke our packages. If I change one monster, I gotta change 'em all. It's an all-or-nothing deal. The kid initialed the contract.
Oh, come on. He didn't know what he was doing. And now the natural balance of the world is all screwy and I have to fix it, so if you could see it in your heart…
Listen, sweetheart, You seem like a nice kid and I'd really really like to help, but my hands are tied, and by that, I mean I don't want to! I work deals here, okay? If you had something I wanted, then maybe we'd be having a conversation.
For starters, a protein shake that doesn't taste like an elephant's butt! AND I SAID NO BANANA!!!! (disintegrates Bobby, leaving his eyes bouncing away) There was a glorious protein shake that I used to get when I was just a little assistant agent demon in the underworld land of Quegara. I woulda taste that again.
Alright, I'll get it for you. If I do, will you turn the monster kids back?
You got yourself a deal, sweetheart, but the offer expires at midnight. After that, the spell will be too powerful to overturn and those kids will be human forever.
(as they shake hands) Capeesh!
SMSmoothie Monster
Ah, I remember her. Used to come in every day and get a protein shake. And just the way she likes it.
Oh, wonderful. I'll take one. (places her money on the counter)
SMSmoothie Monster
Money units do me no good here. For this smoothie, I demand a trade of premium value. Perhaps you could acquire the Magical Amulet of Turisbak, owned by the fierce and powerful Lord Balthezul of Gremble Beach?
BLord Balthezul
Oh, young Juniper. I have waited for your arrival. I will trade you the Amulet of Turisbak for the Great Goblet of Goblins found in the Grand Gorge of Gorgia.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Life and Times of Juniper Lee pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.