I never liked the livin' undead... walkin' around all dead but alive... Makes a mockery of my job.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Oh ,come on, Mandy. I always wanted to save Christmas with a vampire sidekick. Ever since I was a little boy...
[Flashes back to Grim as a child in kindergarden.]
[out loud to no one in particular] Someday I'll save Christmas with a vampire! [cheesy smile]
[A snowball hits him in the face.]
BVBaron Van Ghoulish
Besides, you don't want the Head Vampire, you want the HEAD Head Vampire.
The HEAD Head Vampire?
BBaron
Yes, they did this whole reorganization thing a couple of hundred years ago. It doesn't make much sense to me... Eh, what was I talking about? Oh yes, yes, the "Head" Head Vampire. I think he was at my Labor Day SOIREE. I'd definitely know him if i saw him.
If he spilled something on your rug, I'm sure you'd recognize him.
[Van Ghoulish hisses at her.]
How come every time I take you kids to a mall it burns to the ground?
I blame the economy.
[to vampire Santa] You're lucky Death was here to save you this time, fat man!
[after knocking on Santa's door and nobody answering] Strange, the door is locked and nobody is answering.
If you saw the Grim Reaper at your door, would you answer?
Good point. But there should at least be some frightened screamin'. [reaches into pocket] Hang on, I got something for this.
What?
[pulls out a key] A skeleton key!
[A snowball hits him in the face.]
VGVon Ghoulish & Grim
Hurrah!
VGVon Ghoulish
Now we're off.
Yes, we're off.
VGVon Ghoulish
We're off to save Christmas.
Off to save Christmas.
VGVon Ghoulish
And we're cold.
Super cold!
BVBaron Von Ghoulish
Yes, we forgot our jackets
BBoth
Yes, we did not bring our jackets, so we'll freeze and we will...
Can it, you two. Alright, Baron if you know the way let's hear it, because we're... LOST,
[singing continues]
BBoth
And we're lost!
Oh so lost, and we can't feel our fingers.
No we can't feel our...
I said, knock it off. [Sees Baron Von Ghoulish & Grim in a block of ice] Great, I get to spend Christmas Eve with a couple of dorksicles.
DHCaptain Deadwood the Heartless
They call me Captain Deadwood, the Heartless, Arrrr! But don't let the name fool ya'... I'm not a real captain.
I've never been a real son to anybody before! Except my real dad...
[Mandy gets sprayed by cow's milk]
What's this? [He sees a retro cartoon phonograph] Hey, Mandy, I've figured out what's making that music. [Mandy gets up] You okay?
Do I LOOK okay?
It's hard to tell; you sort of always look that way.
[Mandy gets sprayed by cow's milk again]
[laughing] Now that's comedy!
[REALLY furious; screams] I HATE RETRO CARTOONS! [The retro phonograph hears this and becomes infuriated]
SHE said it! [They both start to run away]
Me Spidey Senses inidicate that whatever's making that music is turning everything into a retro cartoon.
Grim, you don't HAVE Spidey Senses.
... Now that complicates things.
Destroying stuff makes me feel so ALIVE!
I second that emotion.
Ditto.
[in Billy's fantasy] Gimme a banana!
Honey, remember what I promised would happen someday?
You got the surgery?
Even better! I got transferred on work!
Transferred?
Transferred?
Aren't you excited? We get to move to another town and leave behind everything that has meaning to you!
But I don't wanna leave. I just finished marking my territory.
Stop it! Just stop it! You're behaving like spoiled children! I suggest you behave like spoiled adults, and settle this in court.
Fine! I'll see you in court! [He appears in a tennis court]
Wrong court, dummy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.