How would you like me to iron those wrinkles out of your face, you little snitch?
Ooh! I'd like that!
All S1
S1 E16Say Goodbye, Rose
S1 E17You've Lost That Livin' Feeling
GDGerald Davenport
Good evening, my name is... [notices Chuy's name tag] ...Chuy Castillos.
Oh my gosh, what a coincidence. Our cook is named Chuy Castillos.
S1 E18A New Leash on Life
[Roland has just seen his mother kiss Chuy, and he is incredibly angry]
Hey, Rol. What's happening? Wow, that's cool, man. How do you get that big vein in your head to bulge out like that?
If Chuy should marry your mom, that would make you...
A convicted killer!
S1 E19Pro and Concierge
I don't know anything.
Boy, there's a tattoo for your forehead.
Good news, everybody, I'm back from vacation.
Yeah, that's...
Have no fear, Petrillo is...
Good to...
She's tan, she's rested, she's ready to crack wise. Who, you say? "Sophia. That's who!".
Fine.
I thought you said you missed me, what do I have to do to get some attention around here, a cartwheel? [long pause] OK, here goes. But I should warn you, I'm not wearing any underwear.
[Plane flies overhead]
[referring to plane] DC-10! Yep...you spend hours on your back, you get to know these things.
[enters with Rose and Chuy; referring to plane] Oh! DC-10! Yep.
S1 E20Tad
[upon seeing her brother] Tad?
TTad
Blanche!
Why, Tad, what are you doing here?
TTad
I came here to visit you! You said so much about the hotel, I wanted to see it! [runs over and hugs Blanche]
Well, how did you get here?
TTad
A nice man drove me in a big yellow car!
A big yellow -- oh, Tad, please tell me you didn't come all the way from Chattanooga in a --
[Tad's taxi driver appears at the door]
TDTaxi driver
Hey, someone here owes me $728!
...taxi.
S1 E21One Angry Stan
Congratulate me, Sophia! I've finally finished that jigsaw puzzle!
Big deal! It took you six months!
On the box it said two to four years!
[referring to Stan's death] So how are we going to tell Sophia?
We'll break it to her gently, tonight, just before we put her to bed.
Guess who I just ran into!
Not Stan, he's dead!
S1 E22Sex, Lies and Tortillas
CCharlene
Actually, Grandma, we thought we'd go jet skiing this afternoon.
Oh that sounds exciting!
CCharlene
Yeah, tonight we thought we'd, you know, check out some of the clubs!
That sounds like fun!
CCharlene
We thought Rick and I could share a room!
Sounds like a cold day in Hell.
S1 E23The Chicken and the Egg
BLBobby Lee
Blanche, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.
I'm 42 years old.
BLBobby Lee
Yeah, you mentioned that. That means you were born in --
Atlanta.
[about Blanche's plans of marriage] Don't you think that ship has sailed?
That ship has sunk!
I don't know what to say.
[about Blanche] I do, you're old.
Sophia!
What? She's a fossil!
SSylvia
My husband says that I'm frail, and old, and just asking for trouble.
[about Self-Defense course] And what is your specific goal for this course?
SSylvia
I'd like to put the bastard through a window.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Palace pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.