[after Dorothy solves the mock crime] Dorothy, that was a real Tour de France!
S7 E2The Case of the Libertine Belle
Last evening, at dinner, when Ms. McGlynn saw Blanche give Kendall Nesbit her key, she was furious. She dropped a steak knife into her purse,—
Big deal. I took a whole place setting—
[shouting angrily] NOT NOW, MA!
[upon seeing the corpse on the bed in Blanche's room] All right, Ma, give me your mirror.
What for?
Every morning I hold it under Ma's nose. If it fogs up, I start the coffee.
Maybe that bloody dagger will lead us to the murder weapon!
DDetective
St. Olaf?
[Amazed] Boy, he is good!
[angrily] You're not helping, Rose! It's almost as though you believe Blanche is guilty!
Well, she lied about my earrings, and then she took them. I mean, deceit, then theft--isn't murder the next logical step?
St. Olaf, right?
There's just one hitch. I need three more people to get the group rate at the hotel.
I thought hotels always gave you the group rate.
Yes, sweetheart, but this is for the whole night!
How could I be accused of murder?! I am a Devereaux! Things like this usually happen to people named... Petrillo!
I take offense at that! No one in my family ever--EVER--left a body to be found!
[explaining Kendall's murder] When Posey saw Blanche give Kendall an extra key to her room, she was furious. She slipped out of the dining room and went upstairs when she felt she wouldn't be missed. Later, there was a knock on Blanche's door. Kendall answered. Posey was there. She accused him of two-timing, he denied it. Posey takes out a knife and stabs Kendall. Then she left before anyone knew she was there. Jealousy was the motive, alright. But it was not Blanche who committed the crime. [points to Posey] There's your murderer. Posey McGlinn.
DDetective
Well Ms. McGlinn, do you have anything to say?
PPosey
Dorothy Zbornak, you've stuck your nose in for the last time! [attempts to shoot Dorothy; detective pulls gun away]
Statistics say that patricide is overhwhelmingly a male crime. [looks at Sophia] Although daughters frequently murder their mothers!
KKendall
Blanche!
Kendall!
KKendall
Blanche, I must commend you again. I have a feeling we're in for a weekend that none of us is ever going to forget.
Oh, I do declare! Your sweet words could charm the morning dew right off the honeysuckle!
That was good, Blanche. Now do Br'er Rabbit.
LALt. Alvarez
[after explaining Kendall's murder] Given these facts, unless somebody has something else...we've got enough to make an arrest.
[scared] My, my, Mr. Officer...I do declare, your sweet words could charm the morning dew right off the honeysuckle!
Blanche, not now!
[more scared] If not now, when?!
S7 E3Beauty and the Beast
[complaining about Nurse DeFarge] Dorothy, at 2am in the morning, I was entertaining a gentleman caller, when she walked in at the most inopportune time. I could have lost my balance and chipped a tooth!
You think that's bad? She came into my room when I was reenacting the plank-walking scene from Peter Pan.
What the hell goes on at night in this house?!!
[to Dorothy] Thank you, Pussycat.
NDNurse DeFarge
Oh, you're Pussycat, too?
I am Pussycat One. You are Pussycat Two.
S7 E4That's For Me to Know
[the girls vote on who should move out of the house]
Alright, here we go, good luck ladies. [reads a ballot] Dorothy. [reads another vote] Dorothy. [reads the third vote] Dorothy. [reads the final vote, more quickly] ...Dorothy.
Well, that's that, lets eat, I'm starved.
Now wait a minute! How did this happen!?
We all voted for you.
Well, Dorothy it's your own damn fault. Why did you vote for yourself?
Well, I just assumed that everyone would vote for Rose, and I didn't want a sweep to hurt her feelings.
I guess that would hurt.
[voice breaking] It DOES!
Gimme that![snatches box from Dorothy]
What's in the box, Ma?
Mexican jumping beans.
Ma!
Excuse me, Hispanic jumping beans.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.