Get up on stage, Dorothy!
Get bent, Ha-Ha!
S2 E25A Piece of Cake
Well, it says here on my Ha Ha birthday list that Bobby is seven, Jeannie is nine, and Dorothy is...
I'll punch your heart out, Ha Ha!
...Dorothy is the oldest!
Come on, kids. Make a wish and blow out the candles. [the kids and Dorothy blow out the candles] I hope everybody gets what they wished for.
Do you really, Mr. Ha Ha? [holds up the cake]
Dorothy, if I were you, I would put the cake down. You see, Mr. Music's brother is Mr. Lawyer.
Did you finish the decorations, Rose?
No, not yet. I, I kinda got sidetracked. [reveals a mouse-like balloon sculpture] Look. [laughs]
This is what you've been doing for the past forty-five minutes?
Uh-huh. Isn't he cute? I call him Scotty. [Dorothy pops the balloon]
Now you can call him garbage.
We are throwing a surprise birthday party for Blanche. I want you to go out to the lanai and mingle with the other guests.
Check! ...What's a lanai?
The porch!
Excuse me, Krystle Carrington!
Besides, you think I'd ruin Roberta's milestone birthday?
Milestone? She's 88.
Right. After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone!
I know you can't really be here with me, Charlie. It's taken me these past eight months to accept that, but I finally have. Then why our usual little private birthday celebration? It somehow feels less lonely, Charlie. I mean this is the first special day I've had to spend without you. If it had been Christmas, I'd probably have hung your stocking. Or if it had been your birthday, I probably would have still asked the clerk down at Tuttle's to help me pick out a tie for you. Oh, I'll bet that would have gotten me some strange looks from the sales staff. Although they already look at me strangely because of the time I tried to special-order a double-breasted navy suit with a drop seat in the pants for Cousin Wendell. Anyway, that was part of the reason. The other part was I wanted to talk to you. I know I didn't need a special occasion for that. It'd be more of an occasion if I stopped talking. But I, I figured since it was my birthday, you wouldn't be upset when you hear what I've got to tell you. I've decided to sell the house and leave St. Olaf, Charlie. The winters are rough here in Minnesota, and this place is too filled with memories to let me get on with my life. I need to start over without you, Charlie, and I think this is the best way. I know it'll be tough in a strange town all alone, but I've read some wonderful things about Miami. It won't be long before I meet nice people and... and make some new friends. I have a real good feeling about that. So I just wanted you to know what I decided. I hope to be in Florida before the next winter comes, but I know that wherever I am, you'll be right there with me. I love you, Charlie. I miss you.
S2 E26Empty Nests
[on why she loves washing dishes] In Minnesota, the whole family'd get together and wash dishes. Even Uncle Gustav, after the giant Swiss Army Knife accident, learned to dry dishes with his feet. We used to laugh and carry on and have such a happy time.
What is it with you people? All you ever had were happy times?! It's sickening! Happy times freezing in the cold, happy times during the locust invasion, happy times eating reindeer! How about death, did you have happy times then?
Yes, actually, we did. It was a chance to get together and remember other happy times!
She's beginning to get to me.
[on why she never suffered from Empty Nest Syndrome] I couldn't wait for my kids to get out on their own. I got depressed watching them grow older, 'cause it meant I was gettin' older. They were like noisy little calendars. The minute they all entered high school, I told everybody they were my husband's from a previous marriage.
And you wonder why they're in therapy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.