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S6 E22

The Golden Girls · Season 6, Episode 22

“Love for Sale” quotes from The Golden Girls

4 quotes

“Love for Sale” · Season 6, Episode 22

In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (3), Blanche Devereaux (3), Rose Nylund (2), Sophia Petrillo (1), Stan (1), Angelo (1)

[reading Dorothy's "bio" at the bachelorette auction] "If Dorothy's not off winging her way to Molokai to assist Father Damien in his work with the lepers, you can find her hang-gliding high above the Florida Keys."

Rose... where did you get that?!

From your mother. Before she and I talked, I wasn't aware of any of it. [continues reading] "She's a scratch golfer who, under President Jimmy Carter, served as the United States Senate Majority Whip. And she likes to read."

[to Blanche] I figured, close with the truth. It'll kind of anchor the rest.

I want to thank you all for holding this event on a night when my hang-glider is in the shop, and Congress is in recess, and the lepers are on Geraldo. Go ahead Rose.

Right Dorothy. All right, now let's start the bidding at five dollars.

BBidder

Five dollars!

[entering lobby] One hundred dollars.

Stanley! What are you doing here?

I'm buying a date with the woman I love.

Oh geez! Not in front of people!

BBidder

One hundred and ten!

[to Blanche, about the bidder, who is a man they all "bought" for Dorothy] What the hell is he doing? Didn't you give him a limit?

Stan Two hundred!

Security! Have this man removed! He's a lonely male impersonator.

BBidder

Two-ten!

[jumps up from table] What?! What is WRONG with you? The woman's been with lepers!

Three hundred!

Stanley stop it! I am not going out with you. I would rather be bound and gagged, and left on an anthill covered with honey.

SBSecond Bidder

FOUR HUNDRED!

BBidder

Four-ten!

SOLD!

Dorothy, I say that.

Five hundred!

SOLD!

[pointing to Rose] SHE says that!

Rose, do something!

SOLD! Sorry Dorothy, that's $500 for the Children's Hospital. I guess dreams really can come true.

On Stan's behalf, Charlie once made a lot of money in business with a partner who was also a lousy, no-good, underhanded, backstabbing worm.

Let me guess, Rose. Ivan Boeskyvanderheuvenfleuvenmeistergarbengerbenfleckman.

That's the louse.

Dorothy, you can't pass up a chance to own real estate. It's been a lifesaver for me. You get a bunch of saps to pay your mortgage for you every month while your equity just rises higher and higher, while those poor suckers... [pauses and notices Dorothy, Sophia and Rose all glaring at her] ...What I meant was, it's a great opportunity to make new friends.

I met a beautiful young Sicilian aerobics instructor. Gorgeous eyes, angelic mouth, and a behind dat must have been made on a Saturday because even the good Lord himself would wanna take a day off to admire it! I lost my heart, and I opened my wallet, eh. All the expensive gifts and fancy dinners and weekends in Mykonos, eh. I even wore one of those-a tiny Speedo swimsuits, shows all your gingerbread and everything, eh. And she leaves me. What does a six-foot-seven-inch American basketball player got that I don't?

Well Angelo, speaking in terms of the gingerbread alone---

BLANCHE!!!

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