The Golden Girls · Season 3, Episode 20
“Larceny and Old Lace” · Season 3, Episode 20
In this episode: Rose Nylund (4), Dorothy Zbornak (3), Blanche Devereaux (3), Sophia Petrillo (2)
[reading from Rose's diary] Dear Diary, I don't know how much longer I can stand living with these two pigs. At first, moving in with them seemed like a good way to save money, but it's just getting out of hand. If one isn't keepin' me awake all night with her squealin', the other one is belchin' in my face! [stops reading] You do that sometimes, Dorothy. After you've had a Denver omelet.
Look, this is a real invasion of Rose's privacy. And it's a Spanish omelet.
[knocking on Sophia's door] Sophia?
I'm not in. Wait for the beep and leave a message. Beep!
Hi, this is Rose...
Rose, shut up and get in here!
I cannot believe my mother is hanging out with that cheap hood!
You mean Rocco?
No, Rose, I mean Spiro Agnew. He gave her a highway contract instead of an ID bracelet.
Gee, what's my diary doing here? [picks it up from the table] Next to a pair of pliers?
Rose, whatever it is you're thinking, it isn't true.
Good, then George Bush isn't married to his mother.
The most romantic thing was when Stan proposed. I went to the powder room and when I got back there was two long stem glasses filled with Dom Perignon. We clinked the glasses and Stan gave me a coy smile and I winked at him and I just down the champagne in one gulp....and it didn't go down smoothly. Later he told me that he put my engagement ring at the bottom of the glass. It turned up three days later.
Where'd it turn up, Dorothy?
On the Home Shopping Network, Rose.
[on Rocco] This is the last time I let a man toy with my emotions. From now on, it's strictly physical!
[after the girls have finished telling stories about the most romantic thing a man ever did for them] Well, it just goes to show: your hair may turn gray, your skin may wrinkle, but you're never too old for romance. [pauses] So don't give up, girls! [leaves kitchen as Dorothy and Rose glare]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
