Who's Laszlo?
He's a Hungarian sculptor we've all been posing nude for.
[looking chagrined] In the future, a simple "None of your business, Sophia" will suffice!
“The Artist” · Season 3, Episode 13
In this episode: Rose Nylund (5), Dorothy Zbornak (4), Sophia Petrillo (3), Blanche Devereaux (2)
Sophia, what are you doing with that heavy coat on inside the house?
[opens her coat with her back to camera] You tell me, Rose! [walks off]
Ma!
Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now, or does her dress really need ironing?
We really enjoyed your lecture on modern sculpture.
LLaszlo
I didn't think anyone was paying attention.
Oh, we sure were, especially Dorothy. She even talked about taking up sculpting.
LLaszlo
Really?
[laughing] Oh no, I didn't.
Yes you did! You said you'd like to help him mold his clay or buff his marble anytime!
[laughing, taking Rose's hand] Rose is such a kidder! [She squeezes Rose's hand so hard that Rose falls to the ground in pain]
I saw some of the sketches that Laszlo has done of me and they're horrible. The hair is all big and frizzy and the body is all droopy and saggy. The woman in those pictures is a dog!
Blanche, the woman in those photos is me.
I know she sounds like you dear, but she's not.
Oh, yes she is. [pulls out key], I wanted to tell you a long time ago.
Oh God, strike me here and now if Laszlo prefers Rose Nylund over me.
He said he wanted someone with more innocence.
With more cellulite is more like it.
You take that back!
I will not!
Yes, you will!
No I won't!
Girls, girls what's going on here.
Nothing, Rose here just stabbed me in the back.
I did not, Laszlo asked me to pose for him.
I don't know why, he'd go to Sea World if he wants to see a naked whale.
Or to your bathtub!
Oh, all right Missy, this is war, both of us will continuing seeing Laszlo.
Fine, he is going to pick me.
No he's not, he's going to pick me.
Girls, girls I can solve this.
All right Dorothy, tell her who he is going to pick.
It's going to be me. [pulls out key]
You too?
He asked me last Thursday.
Well, I am stunned.
I'm relieved!
Relieved.
Rose Yeah, the woman you saw in those horrible drawings must have been Dorothy!
[after Dorothy's prank to get Sophia to sit on the whoopee cushion fails] Don't try to outsmart me, Dorothy. I've got the mind of a fox and the butt muscles of Baryshnikov!
I saw some of the sketches he's been doing of me, Rose. He never lets me see 'em, so today I looked through his things and I found some. They're horrible. The hair's all big and frizzy, the body's all droopy and saggy. The woman in those sketches is a dog!
Blanche...
She's a clown!
Blanche...
She's just a hideous, wrinkled old bag!
Blanche, the woman in those sketches is me.
I know she sounds like you, honey, but she's not.
Yes she is. Look. [pulls out key] I wanted to tell you about this all week but I couldn't. I've been posing for Laszlo too.
Oh dear Lord, strike me dead right here and now if that man prefers Rose Nylund over me.
Blanche, you can't take it personally. Laszlo just decided he wanted someone with more innocence.
With more cellulite is more like it.
Take that back!
I will not!
Yes, you will!
I will not!
You will too!
Girls, girls, girls! What's going on here?
Nothing, Rose here just stabbed me in the back.
I did not!
She's been posing for Laszlo too.
He asked me to!
I sure don't know why, he'd go to Sea World if he wanted to see a naked whale.
Or to your bathtub!
Oh ho, that does it, missy. This means war. We'll both keep goin', we'll just see who he picks for his sculpture.
Fine, it's going to be me.
No it's not, it's going to be me.
Girls, girls, I can settle this.
All right Dorothy, tell her who it's going to be.
It's going to be me. [pulls out key and grins smugly]
You too?
He asked me last Thursday.
Well, I am stunned.
I'm relieved!
Relieved??
Rose Well sure, the woman you saw in those horrible drawings must have been Dorothy!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.