$5000...we don't have that kind of money!
IA IRS Auditor
Uncle Sam doesn't like to hear that.
Aunt Dorothy doesn't enjoy saying it!
IA IRS Auditor
I expect you each to cough up $2500 in 30 days.
IA IRS Auditor
We'll just have to put a lien on your bank accounts, your property, and your salaries, and if THAT doesn't work, we'll just have to incarcerate you.
Oh my God. We're going to jail! [breaks down in tears]
That's right Stanley, and please, let me know where you and Bubba register for your china. [slaps him on the back and storms out]
Still worried about the money you owe the government?
Oh no, Blanche, I'm worried about whether Michael Jackson will be able to buy the remains of the Elephant Man.
Really? Gee, I'd be worried about the money.
Let me tell you girls the three most important things I've learned about life. Number one, hold fast to your friends. Number two, there's no such thing as security. Number three, don't go see Ishtar. Woof! [makes face]
[on why she's excited about taking a night-school Spanish class with Rose] Men go to night school - smart men. And nothing turns me on more than a smart man. Unless it's a stupid man with good hands.
You know that promotion I'm up for at the counseling center? Well, I found out I can't have it unless I become bilingual.
Oh, honey, don't do that ! No job is worth having to date women !
Blanche, "bilingual" refers to a person who speaks more than one language.
[laughing] Oh! Why'd I think it was something sexual?
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
