Sophia, is that a Captain Jack's Seafood Shanty uniform you're wearing?
No, Rose, I'm off to discover the Straits of Magellan. Yo ho!
“The Actor” · Season 2, Episode 14
In this episode: Rose Nylund (3), Blanche Devereaux (2), Dorothy Zbornak (1), Sophia Petrillo (1)
PPatrick
[auditioning Blanche for the play] Please reconsider, Josie. You're the prettiest girl in the county. I need to have your answer now. What's it gonna be?
[throwing back her arms to embrace Patrick] I want you to TAKE ME, BIFF!
[The inflatable breasts Blanche is wearing under her shirt pop, and the sound of air leaking out of them is heard. Dorothy and Rose look on in shock.]
PPatrick
I'm afraid I popped your bosom!
Don't you worry 'bout a thing, Patrick. My backup pair can take a lot more punishment.
PPatrick
Now Rose, there's been something I've wanted to ask you all day...
[referring to her breasts] Mine are real!
PPatrick
...That's not what I wanted to ask you, but that is good to know.
(The girls coming home after the play and their humiliation by Patrick)
I feel like such a fool.
BBlanch
Oh, me too.
Oh, don't worry, girls. The audience had a real good time and they got their money back on top of it.
That's not what were talking about, you titmouse! We were talking about how humiliated we all were by Patrick.
Oh, you're right. I feel so common, so cheap, so used. How do you usually deal with that, Blanche?
Rose, just for that, I'm going to flush the toilet tonight while you're taking a shower.
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