[The girls have offered to watch Albert's diner for a little while so he can have some time with his family]
AAlbert
Can you cook?
Are you black?
“'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas” · Season 2, Episode 11
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (8), Blanche Devereaux (5), Rose Nylund (5), Sophia Petrillo (3)
[Blanche is explaining to the girls why she gets aroused by Santa Claus]
I can't help it. There's something about a man in a Santa Claus suit that just drives me absolutely crazy! I don't know. Maybe it's-- it's the warmth of all that RED HOT SWEATY flannel, set against the austere coldness of those BLACK PANTHER LEATHER jack boots...OR maybe it's because those rosy cheeks and twinkling eyes bespeak a passion that is about to erupt from a man who just spent a COLD LONELY year cooped up with a pack of dwarfs! I'm not sure. All I know is the sight of a Santa sets my body aflame with unbridled desire!
Blanche, you do realize you're in the minority on this?
Uhh Rose, Are you going to be very much longer?
Not now, Dorothy. This man is still very down about his financial situation. He was one of the principal backers of Howard the Duck.
Merry Christmas, Rose. Merry Christmas, Blanche.
Merry Christmas Dorothy, Merry Christmas Blanche.
Merry Christmas Rose--
What the hell is this, The Waltons?
[Blanche was telling the girls of one particular Christmas Eve where she met 3 or more men that night]
Blanche, I could get herpes listening to this story!
[Rose is singing The First Noel and as the rest of the gang joins in....]
Did I ever tell you about the time....one Christmas, we launched the production of A Christmas Carol with an all-chicken cast.
God, look at the time!
Is it that late? I'm so tired.
[Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia exit.]
[Blanche compares herself to one of "Charlie's Angels"]
I once was told I bore a striking resemblence to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier!
Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!
We could do what we did on Christmas back in St. Olaf.
I will not drink egg-nog while wearing a cast-iron brassiere.
We don't do that on Christmas... we do that on Easter!
[Blanche has just given the girls her Christmas presents that she made for them]
... "The Men of Blanche's Boudoir".
It's a calendar! Each month has a picture of a man who has brought special joy into my life.
Aww Blanche, oh honey, this is so thoughtful. *turns page* ... WHOA!
...September?
Yup.
I'm surprised you were able to walk in October!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.