What's a lacrosse centre? It's a paddock with a couple of goalposts.
S1 E9J'Accuse
There was an earthquake up here in 1973. It did two hundred grand's worth of improvements.
You can check it until your arse falls off. I'm telling you that's what's happening.
Well you can tell me that until your dick catches fire. I'm still going to have to go check it out.
GCGerry Connolly
[Imitating Bob Hawke] Look, Juan Antonio Samaranch has realised he's in shitter's ditch, mate, and he has pleaded with me to go in there and take over.
GCGerry Connolly
[Imitating Bob Hawke] There's a shortlist, there's one name on that shortlist, and your name is on the shortlist.
[Introducing Gina to Gerry] You're familiar with most of Australia's post-war governments, aren't you?
S1 E10A Management Course
It’s Friday afternoon and we’ve got three brand new sporting venues opening in Sydney on Sunday. We should be down there preparing for that but we are not. What are we doing this weekend instead?
Bonding.
Did you read this letter, John?
Yes I did read the letter. I was very impressed with the letter.
"You will travel by luxury coach."
Luxury coach, yes. And an ant therefore is a bird of prey.
MOMiki Oikawa
[Reading from sample ticket] "This ticket admits holder to the session nominated on Box 4 on the obverse of this ticket and is..."
I see. Which side is the obverse?
MOMiki Oikawa
This side.
The side with the box on it?
MOMiki Oikawa
Yes, the session is nominated in the box.
Okay, what’s on the obverse of the box?
MOMiki Oikawa
That’s the information I’m reading to you now.
The information’s on the obverse?
MOMiki Oikawa
Yes.
I thought what you were reading before stated that the box was on the obverse of this ticket?
MOMiki Oikawa
Yes, well, they’re both obverses.
They’re both obverses. That's a bit confusing, isn't it?
So what other crises have we got to deal with?
KKKaterina Kotsonis
Let’s assume there are five other major problems.
Let’s assume there aren’t.
KKKaterina Kotsonis
Let’s assume that the phones are ringing.
Let’s assume they’re not. Let’s assume we answered them all. Wrong numbers, a lot of them.
I would rather sit at home with a pencil in my eye than do that again.
All I’m saying is that a problem that up until 30 seconds ago was the Minister’s problem is now your problem. [Walks off]
[Shouting after him] And the minister will be confronting this issue, will he, by his usual method of being photographed in a hard-hat pointing at a concrete mixer?
I don’t think that presents a major problem. If the gold medals aren’t gold, we shouldn’t call them gold. Call them the yellow medal.
It doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, does it? "Triple yellow medallist Dawn Fraser."
Well, no, it lacks mystique. And I can’t imagine that the winner of the grey medal and the winner of the brown medal will be all that disappointed that they didn’t get up for the yellow.
It’s just that right at the moment I’m not in the right frame of mind to deal with make-believe problems. We have real problems.
Everything the IOC says is code for something else. If, for example, they describe the function that Bryan persists in calling "the Atlantic Olympics" as exceptional, that’s the equivalent of saying "hand me a twig, please, I’d like to scrape the Atlantic Olympics off the sole of my shoe."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Games pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.