Barrister and John Clarke in “Inquiry”

I want you to listen very carefully. If you're asked a question about what happened on a particular occasion and you don't want to answer, you say "I don't recall."

I don't recall.

Yes. And if you're asked if some event happened, you say "Not that I recall."

Not that I recall.

That's right. If you're asked whether something happened and it has been established that it did happen, you say "Not in my presence."

Not in my presence.

That's right. If you're asked any detail about anything, it means they think they've got you. You clam up, you say "Not to my knowledge.

Not to my knowledge.

That's right. And if you think you're about to reveal something, anything, you stop immediately, you turn to the judge and you say "Can I have a glass of water?"

Can I have a glass of water?

That's right.

God, it's no wonder the court system's going so well is it?