The Cosby Show · Season 2
Hi Denise!
Hi.
Whatcha doing?
Waiting to talk to dad.
What are you gonna talk about?
Just things.
What things?
They're private.
Tell me.
No.
[demanding] Tell me.
It's none of your business.
I know what you're gonna talk about.
Well really, what?
I'm not telling.
[Clair is playfully strangling Cliff, because he is having trouble recalling the night he proposed to her]
[enters] Hi dad.
[rough voice] Oh, hi.
I'm just having a talk with your father.
No no, see this woman is just trying to strangle me.
Well what did you do?
I made a mistake, and I proposed to this wo- [Claire tightens her grip]
Don't remember ONE thing about that night! I am going to burn this sweater!
You don't have to burn anything, I told you, I don't have to remember everything, I remember the important things. Ask me another question.
What was playing on the car radio when you proposed?
When I proposed? On the car radio? Ray Charles, I Can't Stop Loving You, 1962, sold 14 million copies!
[lovingly] Cliff-
Now deal with that!
Hi Denise!
Hi.
Whatcha doing?
Waiting to talk to dad.
What are you gonna talk about?
Just things.
What things?
They're private.
Tell me.
No.
[demanding] Tell me.
It's none of your business.
I know what you're gonna talk about.
Well really, what?
I'm not telling.
That's it. You're going to the emergency room.
What if they tell me it's broken?
If no one tells you it's broken, and it is broken, how will you know it's broken?
[Looking at the x-ray] Look, look at this. Right here. See that?
Oh, wait a minute! That looks like a hair.
That's right! This is called a hairline fracture of the promixal phalanx of the fourth toe. Understand that?
That's cool!
All right, it is!
Will the two of you please take my foot someplace else and leave me alone?
Okay. You want to take it to school and show it to your friends?
That's it. You're going to the emergency room.
What if they tell me it's broken?
If no one tells you it's broken, and it is broken, how will you know it's broken?
[Looking at the x-ray] Look, look at this. Right here. See that?
Oh, wait a minute! That looks like a hair.
That's right! This is called a hairline fracture of the promixal phalanx of the fourth toe. Understand that?
That's cool!
All right, it is!
Will the two of you please take my foot someplace else and leave me alone?
Okay. You want to take it to school and show it to your friends?
Dad, what are you doing?
I'm putting hors d'oeuvres down for the guests.
Why?
Because I always put hors d'oeuvres out for the guests.
Dad, this is gonna make the evening longer. Couldn't we just come in and go to the table and start eating?
If you'd like, I'll just put the food in a brown paper bag and have 'em eat it out on the sidewalk.
[to Mrs. Westlake] I love your accent. Where are you from?
I'm from Indiana.
That's why I married him, I love the way he talks!
Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.
Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.
But not to the death!
Robert, do you have any sisters?
No..
Well, go home tonight and thank your parents!
Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.
Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.
But not to the death!
Robert, do you have any sisters?
No..
Well, go home tonight and thank your parents!
I thought it over and I've decided I'm not taking off this sweater until you apologize for poking me in the shoulder.
I'm not apologizing.
Okay. [pokes Denise in the shoulder] We're even.
Hey, wait a minute. You're not even, you're still wearing my sweater.
Knock it off, Denise!
I don't have to.
You're just mad because this sweater looks better on me.
Yeah, right.
Don't shove me!
I can shove you any time I want to!
Is that right?!
Yeah, that's right!
Get off! Let go of me, Denise!
Let me-- LET GO-- LET GO OF MY HAIR VANESSA!!! LET GO! [Rudy is outside hearing the fight and Cliff and Clair rushes over]
What's goin' on in there?
Fight, fight!
All right, now-- stop stop the two of you stop! Stop it! [Cliff falls over]
[screaming] STOP IT!!!!!!!
All right, that's enough that's enough now stop, Denise and Vanessa, I said you better stop! Cliff, are you alright?
They took me out.
Rudy, wait in my room please
Do I have to?
Yes you do.
Now.
Yes now.
Oh boy.
I wanna know what's goin' on in here? [Denise and Vanessa talk at the same time] Wait a minute, wait a minute. Denise you go first.
Why does she get to go first?!
Because I said so!
She went into my closet and took the sweater: the one I said she couldn't have [Denise hits Vanessa and they keep fighting]
GIRLS, I SAID "STOP"!!! Stop it. Vanessa is this true?
Well---
[Interrupting her] No, no, no, before you start to say "No" let me remind you that you are wearing the evidence?
Oh yeah. Well, mom she shoved me!
I shoved her because she took my sweater!
We have rules in this house: one of them is "We don't take things that don't belong to us" and the other one is "We don't try to kill each other", Denise, you may not drive your car for 2 days.
But mom!
Don't "But mom" me! Vanessa, you can't talk on the telephone for the next 2 days. Now give your sister her sweater back.
And you will wear the same clothes for 2 days in a row!
Aw, come on, dad!
Come on, Vanessa, give your sister her sweater back. [Vanessa throws Denise's sweater at her]
Stop!
Give it back nicely.
I'm sorry, Denise.
Now I have to get it clean!
Okay, the money for the cleaning comes out of your allowance.
Yes, mom.
Vanessa, what has gotten into you? I have never, ever seen you act like this.
Mom, come on, Denise and I have fought over clothes before.
Yeah, but not to the death!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Cosby Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
