[The Booty Warrior and a group of inmates have started an uprising and are attempting to escape the prison, but quickly become lost.]
I1Inmate 1
Well, what do we do now?
I2Inmate 2
Ask him, it was his idea! Thought y'all had some kind of escape plan worked out or somethin'!
Weren't no escape plan. Uh... booty, is more important, than escapin'. So, I said to myself when I seen that shank, "This is an opportunity for me to get some booty".
I3Inmate 3
That was it? Nigga, I thought you had demands!
Oh, I had demands! I had demands to get some booty!
I3Inmate 3
I thought this was supposed to be some Attica type shit!
Now, how y'all think that make me feel?! Y'all let the booty get away! Now I gotta go hunt down the booty! Damn!
I hate to this, Grandad. But you did look like a pussy punk bitch. You should've stuck with your story.
Well, study next time. (Huey hits him with a book) Ow!
Grandad, there's no use beating yourself up.
Yeah, Steve Wilkos already did that.
I can't believe all this time. A son. A son named Lando.
Grandad, it's not all your fault. This doesn't make you a horrible person.
SWSteve Wilkos
(on TV) It's all your fucking fault! You're a horrible fucking person!
Oh, why me? Why did he do this to me?
UUncle
(voice over) My name is Uncle Ruckus, and this is the story of my relations. I was born under unusual circumstances. It was the 4th of July, and I was told it was a especially good night to be born. But that was some bullshit.
M1Man #1
I came as soon as I heard. What is it, doc?
DDoctor
There's no easy way to put his. The brown spot on your child's arm, it's a rare and incurable skin disease. It will spread all over his body. His skin will continue to grow blacker and blacker and blacker and even blacker and more blacker and blacker and then even blacker.
M1Man #1
Talk in plain English! I can't understand what you're saying!
DDoctor
Eventually he will be indistinguishable from... a Negro.
M1Man #1
Not that! Anything but that!
PPolice
Hey, you! What are you doing here? HEY!
Come here, bitch. Gimme some real quick.
BRBunny Ruckus
You ain't said nothing so far about my hair.
BRBunny Ruckus
It is so mine. I'm the first colored girl you ever met with blonde hair, and one day I'm gonna have eyes as blue as the summer sky.
Bitch, you ain't never in a million fucking years gonna have no blue eyes. You're hairier than a motherfucker too. Your personality ain't much to speak of either. Your cooking ain't shit. You ain't clean worth a damn. Nasty bitch. But I need somebody around here that's gonna wash the shit stains out my drawers, so I guess you'll do.
BRBunny Ruckus
But, Mister, your Mama hates me.
Mama ain't got much more time life in her. She gonna be dead in a few seconds, you watch and see.
BRBunny Ruckus
I don't know.
Look, uh, why don't we go for a walk down by the swamp and talk about it?
BRBunny Ruckus
But what about the...?
But, I said, let's walk by the swamp!
BRBunny Ruckus
Okay, okay. Aunt Juju, tell Mama I'll be right back. Lord have mercy, what?
Who left this baby on my step?
BRBunny Ruckus
Sweet Jesus.
I ought to cut this fucker.
BRBunny Ruckus
No! This ain't no regular baby. It's a white baby. It's the most beautiful white baby in the whole wide world.
White baby? Ah, shit, that's all I need, a goddamn white-baby kidnapping charge. Bitch, put that thing down before the police come.
BRBunny Ruckus
No, wait, here's some money. Somebody wanted us to take him.
Shit. Finding white babies might be better than I thought.
BRBunny Ruckus
What's this? Some kind of birthmark?
Don't look like no birthmark I ever seen.
BRBunny Ruckus
Who knows? I'm sure it's nothing. Can we keep him? Can we love him forever and raise him to be our own beautiful white child? As husband and wife?
BRBunny Ruckus
Oh, thank you, Mister! What should we name him?
BRBunny Ruckus
Okay. Uncle Ruckus it is.
If the authorities come, you going to jail, bitch. I didn't know nothing about this white baby shit.
(Nellie Ruckus remarks about Mister's family, and says that she's dying)
NNellie
Ugh, look at you. Didn't I tell you, you wasn't gonna be shit with yo' stupid ugly wife and yo' stupid ugly chirrens? I can't wait to die so I don't have to look at yo' ugly, black nigga ass anymo'. Goddamnit!
(Mister has just about had it with Nelly's remark)
Aaaaaaaaaaauuuuggh! I can't take it, no mo'!
(When Nellie Ruckus died)
In my living room?! Oh, No!
(Seeing Nellie's dead body, sitting slumped in the chair) Ugh!
Robert(Also seeing Nellie's dead body, sitting slumped in the chair) In my living chair?! OH, NOOOOO!!! (Turns to Huey) Huey! Get my chainsaw!
(At Nellie Ruckus's funeral, at Mister's remarks about Uncle)
UUncle
No, that's okay. Keep talking, keep talking, Daddy. That's the eulogy the whole woman deserves! Oh, she did this to you and now you doing it to me! You've been doing it our WHOLE lives and it's getting old! It's getting REAL OLD, Old Man, so GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM THEN SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
(Everybody gasps at Uncle's outburst)
Boy, what did you say to me?
UUncle
(Innocently) Um... what part in particular?
I'LL SHOW YOU "WHAT PART IN PARTICULAR"!!!
(Goes to raise a bottle of alcohol to hit Uncle, but feels a sharp of pain)
(In pain) OWWW!!! My back! It's my old injury!
(Mister stumbles and falls into Nellie Ruckus's grave, breaking his neck and killing him)
Well, I guess Grandma Nellie got her wish.
BBunny
Yes, now I can marry my white lover!
UUncle
If only Mister live long enough to love the white man too.
(In the final minutes of the episode, an angry Jack Flowers takes Ed Wuncler, III.)
EIEd, III
HEEEEEEEELLLLP!! Somebody, shoot this muthafucka! (as Jack Flowers takes him away) You can't do this to me! Do you know who I am? GRANDADDY!!
EWEd Wuncler, Sr.
(responding with a smile) What are you waiting for? Shoot him!
