(to Ben just before firing him) Stop going on about bloody Sandhurst, so what? I was in the Jewish Lad's Brigade, Stamford Hill Division, trainee bugler, but that didn't help me sell computers when I got older!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
We had the Sandhurst group here before - and one of them couldn't cook sausages on a baked bean can! (a reference to Paul Callaghan from series 3).
(to Ben)I think the light at the end of the tunnel...(Ben shakes his head trying to convince Sir Alan not to fire him) has gone out. And I think Ben, it's time for you to leave this process. You're Fired!
Ben Clarke: Thank you very much for a wonderful opportunity Sir Alan.
Sir Alan Sugar: Okay? Off you go.
(Ben leaves the boardroom and goes to wait for his taxi. As he sits down he hits the chair)
I've read through your CV and it's fair to say that it's exceptional. Exceptionally bad, that is.
When asked 'What do you do for living?' your answer is 'In a nutshell, I put a leash on people who spunk money up the wall'. Now do you really think that Sir Alan, as a serious businessman and entrepreneur, is going to want to hear that kind of language to a serious question? (In the same clip posted on the BBC website, the word "spunk" is not heard)
Claude, I need to make myself stand out from all those other thousands of people-
But not by being a prat! I could overlook it, perhaps, if it were an isolated incident. However, you then go on with your crassness. 'Why should you be Sir Alan's next apprentice?' 'I can bring ignorance to the table'.
I can.
(slight pause) You think it's a quality?
It's a good style of ignorance...
Oh, don't be daft! I mean it's just...
It's an ignorance about-
The mistake you're making, James, is that you're trying to defend what's frankly indefensible.
If you don't know your own turnover, that's a pretty sad incitment, isn't it, of your business?
(after thanking Sir Alan he gets up and leaves the boardroom but before leaving he faces Sir Alan and the remaining candidates one last time) It's been brilliant!
(The remaining candidates begin to have tears in their eyes as he leaves)
LTLorraine Tighe
I think what I wanted to do was probably "May 08 to present"- but in my own mind, and this is why I'm here, is that I suppose I haven't fully succeeded in the way that I think I'm capable of and what I can do really.
Is that why you lied on the CV?
(Lorraine's face falls)
Bloody Hell!
What happened?
Um, how can I put this? I got turned inside out.
(To James) Turns out I was Willy Wonka after all.
James Mcquillan: I think I've got Lorraine's gift.
Yasmina... you're hired!
Yasmina Siadatan: Thank you, Sir Alan! I'm going to be the best Apprentice ever!
I've read all your CV's and on paper you all look good, but so does fish and chips
It's sink or swim and as you've learnt by now, I don't do life-jackets.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.