All right, Jimbo, now listen. We're going to be staying at the Wild Animal Land in Dead Zebra Carcass suite. Don't tell your mother. It's gonna be a big surprise.
Oh, and Jimmy, Granny Neutron's coming over while we're gone.
Aw, Mom. Don't you remember my theorem proving mathematically, I don't need anyone to watch me?
No, Jim-jam, she's not watching you, you're watching her.
Besides, you can keep each other company. Now, remember, we're counting on you to watch out for her.
Oh, and don't conduct anymore experiments on her, Jimbo.
At her age, the last thing you want is excitement.
[A taxi screeches to a stop in front of the Neutron residence with Granny driving]
Told you I could get here from the airport in under fifty cents. [laughs]
Jimmy, you tote my clothes. Hugh, you carry my pills, syrups, salves serums, girdles, ointments, medical devices, and miscellaneous supports.
[Jimmy's lab; Jimmy and Goddard watch Granny on the monitor screen, talking to a Jimmy standee]
Age is a cruel, cruel thing, Goddard. In a short 65 years, you completely lose your ability to tell when people want you to stop talking.
[on screen] And forget Preparation H. I've made it all the way to Preparation X. [laughs]
[thought of something] Wait a second. If I made her young again, I'd bet she'd stop complaining. But I promised Mom and Dad I wouldn't experiment on Granny…especially after that time I made her magnetic. [chuckles]
[Granny sits across from the Jimmy standee, trying to open a lid of a small bottle, as the real Jimmy enters the living room with the Tonic behind his back]
Good morning. [points to the standee] I was just telling you over there about my deviated spatchum. On cold mornings it rattles like the Tin Man throwing up a hoagie full of wood screws.
Tongue De-Furrer. Your tongue gets furry when you're old. Sometimes I wake up it has chewing on it.
Let me open that for you. [takes the bottle as he turns away from Granny, pours the tonic in it, and turns back to her] I think you'll feel much better and quieter after you drink this.
[drinks the bottle and smacks her lips distastefully] Tastes funny. Of course, what do I know - after 60, your sense of taste completely disapp- [It transforms her into a baby]
[surprised in shock] Granny?!
BBaby
I feel great! Did I just take my morphine?
Uh...No, Granny. Well, you're...You're sort of, uh...baby.
BBaby
[as Goddard holds up a mirror, looking at her reflection] Holy fiber caps, I'm topless!
Oh, man, this isn't good! Where'd you get the diaper?
BBaby
I was already wearing it. [farts in her diaper] Ooh...I need my diapey changed!
Problem. Goddard, change diaper.
[Goddard hacks in disgust]
BBaby
Change me, NOW! [starts to cry and breaks wind in her diaper again]
Who can change a diaper? [Goddard displays "A NURSE" on his screen] I don't know any nurses. [Goddard's screen then displays "YOUR MOTHER"] No way. I love and respect Mom far too much to let her know I...disobeyed her. [Goddard's screen displays "CINDY"; shockingly looks out the window, seeing Cindy across the street running a garage sale in the driveway with Libby] Uh-uh, no way! I will never ever ask Cindy for a favor!
BBaby
[breaks wind in her diaper again] Clean my poopy!
Okay, let's go ask Cindy for a favor. Shall we?
BBaby
I'm bored. Make a funny face and I can hit you with my rattle.
[defiantly] No. [Baby cries] Okay, okay! [makes a funny face and Granny Baby hits her in the face with her rattle]
BBaby
It's fun hitting you! [laughs]
[whispering] Granny Granny quiet.
MMan
Did that baby just talk?
No. Ha, ha, why? Everyone knows babies can't talk.
BBaby
That's right, 'cause if we could the Video Tubbies would be cancelled so quick it would make their head aerials spin. [laughs]
[The people gasps. Jimmy and Cindy run from the clamoring mob]
[gives Jimmy the antidote in a baby bottle] Here. Anything else you'd like? Your slippers in a pipe, maybe?
[Jimmy feeds Baby the antidote in a baby bottle, reverting her back to her old self as Jimmy's parents arrive just in the nick of time]
Hello, honey. How was everything?
Oh, hi, Mom! Nothing unusual here, just me and Granny obeying all your rules. Yes, ma'am, that's what we're doing.
Well, I'd love to stay and help you narrowly avoid even more consequences of your stupid actions, but it looks like Libby and I have a date with some enchilada burritos. [leaves]
It's nice to have you back, Granny.
So nice to be back, Jimmy. [chuckles]
Hey, Jim, I'm really thirsty. Does your mom have any lemonade?
[gives Carl the antidote baby bottle] Drink this!
NO! [Carl drinks the antidote, turning himself into an old man] Carl? You okay?
Well, my eyes hurt, my hair is gone, and I have a powerful urge to dance badly.
I'll take a piece of that.
[amazed after watching the commercial of the Encyclopedia of Infinite Knowledge] Wow! Did you guys see that?! There's never been an encyclopedia like that ever! I gotta have it.
That's so crazy, because I so don't want it.
Sorry, guys. I gotta go talk to my mom, right now.
Ugh, gee, Goddard. It's not fair. Wish I could go back in time and convince him to invest in… [gets an idea] Wait, I got it. If we go back in time, I can convince Dad to invest in McSpanky's, and then, we'll have all the money we'll ever need!
[about Sheen & Carl] And what are they doing here? The big one is odd and the thin one is a weirdo.
Hey, you can't insult us like that!
[tosses Carl and Sheen a gold brick] Here you go, get yourself something nice.
Sure they can! [turns to Carl] Let's go, odd guy!
[snorts] You got it, weirdo!
Two centuries ago, a pirate ship named, the Oozy Scab, hit a squall and sunk to the bottom of Retroville Bay with a mysterious treasure chest. No sub could ever get deep enough to retrieve it until today. I'm finding that treasure.
Listen, Neutron. I'm not any happier about being lab partners than you are so let's just classify some seashells and get it over with.
Darn it all, Cindy! I wish I could join you in your fascinating seashell project, but I've already planned a dangerous search for a shipwreck in my extremely cramped submarine.
What kind of dunderhead would want to talk to a bunch of stupid fish?
I wanna talk to fish! I wanna talk to fish! [snatches the microphone out of Jimmy's hand and sees a fish] Oh, hey there, little fella! Do you like Fish Snack 'Ems? They're made from fish like you, only chopped up into little bite sized pieces and deep fried in burning oil! [the fish screams and swims away]
