A tree falls on Murdock.
[sings in pain] I'm a lumberjack, I'm ok. I got no legs, but what the hey.
How are you doing, Murdock?
I think there is a tree on my leg.
S3 E5Timber!
[sings] I'm a lumberjack, I'm ok. Sleep all night and then work all day. Wear my clothes just once a year. Smells real bad but I don't care. I'm a lumberjack, that's a fact.
I'm allergic to bullets. Especially those headed into my direction.
S3 E7Trouble on Wheels
[Murdock acts as if he was a crazy boss who is being threatened by some guys]
Nobody comes in here and threatens me under my own roof. Especially when I'm eating a tuna-fish sandwich.
[Hannibal has directed the bad guys, Hoyt Plummer and Williams, into checking out "his old boss Crazy Willie Beano"]
Face, there's been a change in plan, I'm staying here.
What did you tell them?
What else, I've got a crazy boss.
Oh great, and you're not gonna be there to give the performance. Who are we gonna use?
Well, I told them he was crazy.
[Cut to the fake store, where Murdock acts as the crazy boss]
I am Crazy Willie. Beano. Beano, y'know, rhymes with Dino? What's the matter, you don't understand English? Dino, everybody loves some... (Sees Williams trying to reach for a gun in his waistband) What's the matter, you think I'm wearing a piece? (Pats his underarms) I'm clean! I'm running a business here, not a shooting gallery!
PPlummer
Alright, we're gonna make this nice and simple: we either get our truck back or we bury you underneath the store!
Forgive me for not laughing, but I always find the baby's first step to be a very serious thing. Nobody comes in here and threatens me under my own roof. Especially when I'm eating a tuna-fish sandwich.
WWilliams
Smith said this guy was looney-tunes.
Looney Tunes, huh? What other TV program do you watch regularly?
PPlummer
Alright, I don't know what your game is, but we want that truck back!
Hmph. The only thing that Crazy Willie ever gives back, is trouble. You mess around with one of my boys, I rip off one of your trucks. Fair is fair! (Knocks on the counter)
(Emerges from the back room with a rifle slung over his shoulder) Can I help you with anything?
This here's a friend of mine, we call him Mayhem.
PPlummer
Alright, you want a war? We'll give you a war!
(Takes out a deck of cards from his jacket) Alright, red and you're dead. Take one off the top! (Plummer takes a seven of spades) It's your lucky day! You don't even get to bleed on the carpeting. (Snatches the card back) Now you tell your friends I sell auto parts, and if they want some, they should come down here and see me. (Hands Plummer his plate and walks off) I'll provide the lunch.
S3 E10Sheriffs of Rivertown
You better watch my back.
Who's gonna watch mine?
The walk across the room.
Face, your back. It's looking good.
[B.A. and Murdock were attacked by one of Boyle's men]
You're sure it was one of Boyle's men?
Absolutely. It was that guy, Lupis. He's about 6'3', built like a bathtub.
[...]
You want me to pick up WHO?
Eh ... Lupis. He works for Boyle. We saw him yesterday.
Oh, yes. It's the big one, about 6'4', built like a chest of drawers?
Yeah, that's the guy, guy. And you be careful. He almost killed B.A. He's at least 6'5', 240.
Now, I'm gonna check out his office. You check his house. If the guy Lupis shows, bag him.
Wait, the guy's 6'6', 250 pounds. He almost killed B.A., and you want ME to bag him?
Sure.
[Final scene]
(Drops his badge on the table next to the other two) Ah, sheriffs of Rivertown, I'm gonna miss this job.
NNikki
Hey, if it weren't for you guys, there wouldn't even be a Rivertown.
CCraig
There wouldn't be a Craig Monroe either.
NNikki
So, if you ever come to Oklahoma, you should look us up. I'll fix you one of my special home-cooked meals. Just... do me a favor and promise not to make any fists?
Yeah, well actually, fighting's not really my strong suit, I'm much more adapted to romantic endeavors. (They kiss)
If you don't wanna miss the plane, then you better get a move on.
SSonny
Yeah. (Picks up the suitcases) You ready, sis?
NNikki
Yeah.
SSonny
Thanks again.
Good luck.
Adios amigos. (The Monroes leave)
Speaking of planes, Hannibal. (Rises, grabs a stick; Hannibal, Face and Murdock back into a jail cell)
B.A., you're not mad just because we flew you down here, are you?
Now wait a minute, remember your oath as a deputy, not to hurt other deputies?
I see three badges on the table, that mean you are civilians. I still got my badge. And as official law officer of Rivertown, I'm giving you guys two days in jail. (Locks the cell) I love it, when a plan comes together!
S3 E11The Bells of St. Mary's
But Hannibal, rules are made to be broken!
Noses are also made to be broken, right, Face?
The bigger they are, The harder they fall.
B.A walks into the room
The bigger they are, the harder they hit!
S3 E23Beverly Hills Assult
[Murdock pretends to be a crazy painter and brought off a deal. His partner wants to shake hands]
Murdock does not shake hands, Murdock does not play sports, Murdock does not open canned food. Murdock paints.
[...]
[holds up a pizza] Let us break pizza to cement the bargain.
SShawn
Mr. Murdock, welcome to your new studio.
I don't get it. I've already got a studio. My studio and I go back a long way. Long before home personal video cassette recorders.
SShawn
While you're under contract with the gallery, this is your studio
You don't seem to understand! I need my studio! I trained inspiration to find me at that studio! Now, how is it going to find me?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The A Team pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.