Murdock(sings) Did you ever see a hearse go by and think that someday you'd surely die. They put you in a little box and cover you over with dirt and rocks.
S1 E4 A Small and Deadly War
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Played by Dwight Schultz
The A Team · 70 quotes
Most-quoted character in The A Team: in 38 of its 70 quotes
Most scenes with: Face Peck (19), Hannibal Smith (13), B.A. Baracus (10)
Lines by Murdock 6
MurdockMurdock[sings] I'm Bogey the Bear, I'm covered with hair!
MurdockI'm Bogey the B-- [Bogey gets his head shot off by gorillas] Oh you'll be sorry you did that! [opens up fire with a large machine gun]
Murdock[sings] I'm a lumberjack, I'm ok. Sleep all night and then work all day. Wear my clothes just once a year. Smells real bad but I don't care. I'm a lumberjack, that's a fact.
S3 E5 Timber!
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[Murdock acts as if he was a crazy boss who is being threatened by some guys]
MurdockNobody comes in here and threatens me under my own roof. Especially when I'm eating a tuna-fish sandwich.
S3 E7 Trouble on Wheels
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[Murdock pretends to be a crazy painter and brought off a deal. His partner wants to shake hands]
MurdockMurdock does not shake hands, Murdock does not play sports, Murdock does not open canned food. Murdock paints.
[...]
Murdock[holds up a pizza] Let us break pizza to cement the bargain.
S3 E23 Beverly Hills Assult
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Scenes with Murdock 32
MurdockI'm surprised the surgeon general let me out.
He didn't. I did. I had to bring your Uncle Deke into town.
MurdockHow is Uncle Deke?
You don't have an Uncle Deke.
MurdockI'm sorry to hear that. I was beginning to like him.
No, you hated him. He used to beat you.
MurdockThat creep!
I got us a Gulfstream. Can you fly it?
MurdockHey, brother. If it's got wings, I can fly it.
Great.
MurdockHey, Face, what's a Gulfstream?
Murdock is singing in the cockpit when Hannibal joins him.
The sleeping giant awakes.
Murdock stops singing and stares shocked at Hannibal.
How fast can you bring us down?
MurdockYou just landed, brother.
The team are driving back to the airport. B.A. slams his foot on the brakes, which causes a tape-recorder to come out from under the seat.
I ain't going on no aeroplane!
Murdock picks up the tape recorder.
What's this?
Murdock presses play on the tape recorder.
ASAmy's voice on tape
...living on the jazz. Four restless romantics...
Restless romantics?
ASAmy's voice on tape
...the edge of society, which is the only place left they can survive...
Hannibal takes the tape recorder and presses the stop button.
What's this, the last reel of a Disney movie?
I wasn't going to tell you guys...but I decided to do a story on you!
I ain't goin' on no aeroplane!
Forget it lady. It ain't gonna happen.
Hannibal ejects tape and gives it to Face.
C'mon guys, I know, I know. What you guys are doing is really important. You saved Al. And you caught the terrorists. Everybody's against you. The government is after you. You gotta hide. I think that's a hell of a story!
I said I ain't gettin' on no aeroplane Hannibal!
I won't publish it until you've cleared yourselves.
You won't publish it, period! You think we're looking to become Book of the Month Club Celebrities? You gotta be nuts, lady!
MurdockI'm nuts. Let's keep that straight. Okay? I got my whole room and board resting on that fact.
He's right.
B.A. was telling me about 'The Jazz' - and I think I caught the fever!
So?
So...you let me in - or I write the book...and blow your cover!
Hannibal, Face and Murdock look at each other.
I said I ain't gettin' on no aeroplane Hannibal!
C'mon guys, I can help you with lots of stuff! I have the paper; I have influence; I have a computer at the paper for research stuff...and I have the 1st Amendment to hide behind.
We'll talk about it on the aeroplane.
I told you I ain't goin' on no aeroplane!
Ah, c'mon B.A., be a sport!
Hannibal tries to stick a needle into B.A.'s shoulder. B.A. grabs his arm.
Gotcha! I told you you weren't gonna get me this time sucka, no sirree!
Now B.A., you know I wouldn't try to fool you.
Don't put no dogpile shuffle on me Hannibal.
Amy sticks needle into B.A.'s shoulder.
I...I...
B.A. falls unconscious.
Murdock is being shown Rorschach ink blots by a prison psychiatrist. The first picture is a butterfly
MurdockTractor.
PPsychiatrist
You don't really see a tractor, do you, Murdock?
Murdock(smiles) You're right. I was just guessing.
PPsychiatrist
Well, don't guess. What does it look like?
MurdockInk. It looks like ink. See, I have done this most of my life off and on and I don't see nothin', so I just guess.
PPsychiatrist
It looks like a butterfly, don't it? See, there's the wings and there's the head.
MurdockHey, yeah. Yeah! I see that. Yeah, it's a butterfly!
PPsychiatrist
Good. Butterfly. Now what is this?
(Psychiatrist puts another picture on the table.)
MurdockGarbage bag. Empty garbage bag.
(Psychiatrist rolls eyes and motions for the guard to take Murdock away.)
MurdockI'd like a trash bag, please, if you have one. I really could use a trash bag.
S1 E3 Pros and Cons,
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Murdock(from inside padded cell) TRAAAAASH BAGS! I want TRAAAAASH BAGS! I want 'em! I want 'em!!
PPsychiatrist
(To guard) Do we have any trashbags? Maybe he'll put his head inside and suffocate.
S1 E3 Pros and Cons,
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MurdockTRAAAAAASH BAGS! I want TRAAAAAASH BAGS! (gets one and stops shouting)
PPsychiatrist
We give him one, and he shuts up for a couple of hours.
Hmmm. Interesting. If I could talk to him, I might be able to determine if it's a genuine neurotic fixation or if our boy is trying to section eight his way into the soft walls of a prison psych ward.
PPsychiatrist
I sure would appreciate that. None of us can get any sleep around here.
S1 E3 Pros and Cons,
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Murdock and Hannibal are seated in chairs will trash-bag balloons tied to them
Murdock, how'd I let you talk me into this?
MurdockI don't know, I have intermittent memory loss!
Takes off over prison wall
S1 E3 Pros and Cons,
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(after their left wing started releasing smoke and the plane's altitude reader,fuel indicator, compass, and other things started messing up.) Murdock, what's gonna happen?
MurdockLooks like we're gonna crash.
No, c'mon, really. What's gonna happen?
Murdock(Their right engine stops) Looks like we're gonna crash... And die.
S1 E9 Holiday In The Hills
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