Stiles quotes from Teen Wolf

Peter

His username is Allison? His password is also Allison?

Stiles

Still want him in your pack?

Peter

Don't feel bad, if she lives she'll become a werewolf. She'll be incredibly powerful.

Stiles

Yeah, and once a month she'll go out of her freakin' mind and try to tear me apart.

Peter

Well, actually, considering she's a woman...twice a month.

Scott

She ate the liver?

Stiles

No, I didn't say she ate it. I just said it was missing. And you know what? Even if she did, so what? It's the most nutritious part of the body.

Scott

I never ate anyone's liver.

Stiles

Yeah, right, 'cause when it comes to werewolves, you're a real model of self-control. Actually, wait—- hold on. You're the test case for this, so we should be going over what happened to you.

Scott

What do you mean?

Stiles

I mean like what was going through your mind when you were turning, you know? What were you drawn to?

Scott

Allison.

Stiles

Okay, nothing else? Seriously?

Scott

Nothing else mattered. But, no. That's good, though, right? 'Cause the night that Lydia was bitten, she was with you.

Stiles

Yeah, but she was looking for...Jackson.

Jackson

If Lydia wants to take a naked hike in the woods, why should I care?

Scott

Because we have a pretty good idea that she might be... you know, turning.

Jackson

Turning?

Scott

Yeah. Turning.

Jackson

Into...?

Stiles

[sarcastically] A unicorn. What do ya think, dumbass?

Jackson

Well, I think that if Lydia's turning, she's not the one that's gonna need help.

Scott

What do you mean?

Jackson

Oh, God, you've got it all backwards, McCall. When I was with Lydia, you should have seen the scratch marks she left on me. What do you think she's gonna do with a set of real claws?

Stiles

Hey, you know, maybe they're just here for the funeral? I mean - what if they're the non-hunting side of the family? There could be non-hunting Argents. It's possible, right?

Scott

I know what they are. They're reinforcements.

Stiles

How did you do that?

Derek

I'm the Alpha.

Erica

I have beautiful everything.

Stiles

And a new-found self confidence.

Derek

What did you see in the mechanic garage?

Stiles

Ah... several alarming EPA violations that I'm seriously considering reporting.

Stiles

Can't you just trust me this once?

Derek

No!

Stiles

I'm the one who keeps you alive, okay. Did you notice that?

Scott

I know who he's after.

Stiles

What, how? How? Did you smell something?

Scott

Armani.

Scott

Dude, everyone in here is a dude. I think we're in a gay club.

Stiles

[surrounded by a large group of drag queens, two of whom are stroking his cheeks] Man, nothing gets past those keen werewolf senses, huh, Scott?

Scott

[sees Sheriff Stilinski arrive at Jungle] Get rid of him!

Stiles

Get rid of him? We are at a crime scene and he's the Sheriff.

You're not gay.

Stiles

Wha - ? I could be!

Not dressed like that.

Melissa

I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded.

Scott

What about work?

Melissa

Fine. Other than work. And no TV.

Scott

My TV's broken.

Melissa

Then no computer.

Scott

I need the computer for school.

Melissa

Then no... uh... [glances at Stiles] No Stiles.

Stiles

[interrupts them] Wha - No Stiles?!

Melissa

NO STILES!

Scott

What did you tell her?

That we were part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures.

Stiles

I am part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures.

Oh... great!