Crowley quotes from Supernatural

Crowley

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not gonna eat your food?

Dean

Not hungry.

Crowley

Excuse me! I'm not exactly demon minion number three here. As the kids say, I've got mad skills.

Dean

Look, I don't know what you expected here. Okay? I don't really care. But you wanted off the hamster wheel. Get off.

Crowley

Well, I guess I've been Winchestered.

Crowley

Jerk.

Dean

Bitch.

Get a room you two.

Crowley

Had a room until you two soiled it.

Love you Crowley.

Crowley

Love you more sweetheart.

Anne Marie, jackass.

Crowley

Knew that.

Crowley

(Answering his phone) You're dead.

Sam

Nope. Just using a dead man's phone.

Crowley

Moose. Took you long enough. Your brother and I were beginning to wonder if you'd hit another dog. You know?

Sam

My brother is dead, Crowley. I know you have some freaking demon parading around in his meatsuit, and trust me, you are gonna pay for that.

Crowley

Moose. Moose. I'm afraid you haven't allowed yourself to dream quite big enough here. Your brother is very much alive, courtesy of the mark. And the only demonized soul inside of Dean is his and his alone. Wee bit more twisted, a little more mangled beyond human recognition, but, I can assure you, all his. There, now. Feel better?

Sam

And the, uh, Abaddon supporters you've been sending to kill my brother, how does Dean feel about that double-cross?

Crowley

If that's what you think is happening, then you're more out of your depths than I thought.

Sam

I don't know how you did this, what kind of... Black-magic stunt you pulled, but hear me --I will save my brother or die trying.

Crowley

You know what tickles me about all this? It's what's really eating you up. You don't care that he's a demon. Heck, you've been a demon. We've all been demons. No, it's that he's with me and he's having the time of his life. You can't stand the fact that he's mine.

Sam

He's not your pet.

Crowley

My pet? He's my best friend, my partner in crime. They'll write songs about us, graphic novels -- The Misadventures of Growley and Squirrel. Dean Winchester completes me, and that's what makes you lose your chickens.

Dean

You lied.

Crowley

Who do you think you're talking to here? Does the tin man have a sheet-metal Willy? Of course I lied.

Dean

[To Bartender] Two shots here. He'll have something fancy, with your tiniest umbrella.

Crowley

So...How you been feeling? On edge? Pent-up? Unfulfilled?

Dean

You sound like a Viagra commercial. You know that, right?

Crowley

This isn't about...Little Dean. It's about the Mark. It changed you.

Dean

[flashing black eyes] I've noticed.

Crowley

And I know that you want to keep the party going. You want to have fun, fun, fun till daddy takes the black eyes away. The fact is...you need to kill now. Not want to, not choose to --need to.

[setting Dean's shots down and a cocktail in front of Crowley] There you go.

Crowley

[with a withering look] Danke. Face it, darling. You're an addict. Death is your drug. And you're gonna spend the rest of your life chasing that dragon.

Sam

This doesn't make us square. If I see you again...

Crowley

Oh stop it Samantha, nobody likes a tease.

Majesty, supplicants await without.

Crowley

Without what?

Outside.

Crowley

Let them wait.

They've waited a long time.

Crowley

It's Hell. You wait. It's what you do.

Your decree last month, soul deals way down after the war with Abaddon. You said that you were looking at proactive and out of the box strategies to get numbers back up.

Crowley

So you and your half-wit pal threw me into the sex trade? I'm evil, that's just tacky.

Rowena

The king at last. King of what, Lilliput? I mean I heard you were short, but. Well?! Get to it. Time for the coup de grace. Wee boy, is something the matter with you? Cat got your tongue? Hmmm? Meow.

Crowley

Mother?

Crowley

She was a horrible mother. Did I tell you the time that she almost traded me for three pigs, three! I was an attractive child, I could juggle. I was worth five pigs, at least.

My Ma used to burn me with cigarettes.

Crowley

Nobody cares Gerald. Don't get me started about the name, Fergus. Sounds like venereal disease, and not the fun kind.

Crowley

I didn't even have a father!

Rowena

Of course you had a father. You were just conceived during a winter solstice orgy, and it's not like I was taking names.

Crowley

[Walks in on Rowena being naked in front of a mirror.] Oh, god!

Rowena

[Quickly puts a robe on] Please. It's nothing you haven't seen before.

Crowley

You're my mother. I don't want to see anything! I've been to hell, thanks.

Rowena

Next time, knock.

Crowley

This is my domain. I don't knock.

Rowena

[sighs] Did you want something, Fergus?

Crowley

It's Crow- Forget it.

Crowley

Who summons anymore? Couldn't you call?

Castiel

You're not in my contacts list.

It's just, you barely escaped assassination, you're arguably on the run from the most powerful witch on earth, not to mention an angel of Heaven, and, uh...

Y-you didn't call for help until after the orgy?

Crowley

Hmm. I apologize... for nothing.