TV show quotes
An amusing notion has just occurred to me, Greg.
Yeah?
Yes. You-[chuckles] You're gonna be running a theme park. Um... And here's me, going to jail. And you're gonna be living in a magical castle. And I am going to be down in a dungeon, somewhere, sucking off ogres for phone cards. [laughs]
Greg, what do you know about, um... Nero and Sporus?
Nero and...
Sporus.
Spor--
Greg, yeah. Sporus was a young slave boy. He was Nero's favorite. And, uh... you know what Nero did to him?
N-Nero and Sporus. I don't-- this is not IP I'm familiar with.
Well, Nero... pushed his wife... down the stairs. And uh... and then he had Sporus castrated and he married him instead. And he gave him a ring. And he made him dress up like his dead wife.
Wow! Plot twist! Didn't see that coming.
Yeah, I bought a book on the Romans to read in prison. It's a big book.
Well, is it a good book?
It's a decent book, yeah. I'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.
If Josh Aaronson is against, it is hard to see how you win this with a clear margin.
Is this what we pay the proxy solicitor team for? You know, if I were to give Greg five million, he'd go, "Ooh, it looks bad!" You know?
Does Sandy really have syphilis? What if he has sores all over his body? What if his groin's all eaten away and the top half of him just falls off?
Syphilis... I think we started that rumor.
I don't know. Late-stage symptom is dementia, I believe.
Yeah, you've been doing some panicky late-night googling there, Karl?
I feel like I just have to put it out there. Say it. Since there's an 85 billion dollar baby on the table here. How do I know he's not your... meat puppet?
Oh, I just do what my dad tells me, like you guys.
Let me think.
Yeah, take your time. I see it's tough for you.
Yeah.
You know... my dad seems powerful, Shiv seems safe, but, uh... I don't know, you think she'll still be there? Waiting for you after prison?
How exactly does it work if I-- if I do come over to you? I mean, how-- how is it better... for me when I tell my wife, whom I love, and this family, that I'm turning against them? How?
She'll respect you. Tell her what's she doing, bring her over, Logan goes down, Shiv knows who the fuckin man is. Come on man.
But ha-- and I don't mean to be insulting but, having been around a bit, my hunch... is that you're going to get fucked. Because I've seen you get fucked a lot. And I've never seen Logan get fucked once.
Do you know what they're doing up in the suite? They're picking the next president.
Okay, so. Go on, tell us. Who's here?
Who isn't?
Your dad.
Your mom.
Your wife and kids.
Any real friends.
Should we just enjoy a fag? And not do any sniping for a bit? Or have you come to get some attention?
Me? Attention from you? Oh, no. That ship sailed long ago.
Yeah, I might have been a bit of a spotty mother but you've been a shitty daughter, so...
You weren't a spotty mother, you were just... an absence. But I'm fine.
I moved back to bloody New York so I could be near you, and I never fucking saw you!
Mom! It's okay. It's... fine. You let Dad take us and it was probably best.
I gave him custody so you could keep your shares and I could protect your interests. You chose. "I'll have the carbonara and Daddy, please."
I didn't choose anything.
You tend to get what you want anyway.
And you don't?
I don't think I've ever won a single battle in my whole life.
Hmm. I was ten, Mom. I was a fucking kid.
You were thirteen. And you knew how to twist the knife. You knew then, and you know now. And I might cry.
Oh, yeah, where's the onion?
You were quite a piece of work. You were my onion. You are my onion.
Yeah, well, you're my fucking onion.
Truth is, I probably should never have had children. You made the right decision. Some people just aren't made to be mothers. I should've had dogs.
Well, you coulda had dogs.
No, not with your father. He never saw anything he loved that he didn't wanna kick it just to see if it would still come back.
Who do you think I am? You think I want you dead? I’ll be broken when you die.
Hmm. How’s the boy doing? Is he getting better?
He’s…He’s fine. So, look… my thing is… I want out. I think I thought I was a knight on horseback, but, yet, that isn’t-
Life’s not knights on horseback. It’s a number on a piece of paper. It’s a fight for a knife in the mud.
Like, I don’t really know… where my life goes from here. Uhh, maybe, I…could… I don’t know, but I can’t do jack shit. So, here it is, I want a premium payout from the holding. Two-bill, and a chunky asset. Something you can realize without shareholder input. Maybe... outdoor advertising, podcasts. I keep Fikret, Jess, and I'm gone. I'm a ghost, divested, off the board, complete disinheritance. I won't even speak at your memorial. We're done.
Well, I need to think about it.
Well, you... you already... you offered at my birthday.
That was, uh, for fun.
Dad... we can't do this bullshit forever.
Maybe I want you close. You can do the mail, keep you rattling around.
I can't. I tried, but I... I thought that I could change things. But I'm not as... There are things you're able to do that I can't. Maybe.
Maybe.
You've won... because you're corrupt and so is the world.
Hmm. Well...
I'm better than you. You're... You know, I... I... I hate to say this, 'cause I love you, but you're kind of... evil.
Don't talk about things you don't understand.
Well, you're smart, but what you've done is you... you've... you've... monetized all the fսcking... the... the... American resentments of class and race...
And I thought I was just telling folks the weather.
You've turned black bile into silver dollars.
Oh, you just noticed, did you?
Yeah, maybe I did.
Oh, fսck off.
Fine, you know what? (Scoffs) I don't give a fսck.
Not everyone can live this life. I'm a great revolutionary. A bit of fսcking spice. Bit of fun.
Fun?
A bit of truth.
Okay. Truth, okay.
I fսcking know things about the world, or I wouldn't turn a buck.
Maybe.
Not necessarily nice things.
Look, whatever. Let me out. Okay? Pay up and let me out. I don't wanna be you. I'm a good guy.
How long was that kid alive... before he started sucking in water? Couple of minutes? Three, four, five? Long time? Two minutes? What were you even doing, huh? Chasing a bit of tail? Hey, are you queer? Did you try to fսck him? Or was it just the drսgs?
I’m better than you.
Sure. You're my son. I did my best... and whenever you fսckеd up... I cleaned up your shit. And I'm a bad person? Fսck off, kiddo. Good night. We're out of here.
Nobody tells jokes anymore do they? Karl, do you have any jokes?
What's that?
I'm saying, Karl... it's a bit dry in here.
Oh.
Do you have any jokes?
Um, uh, well, let me think, um... [stammering]
Oh, dry as fucking dust. Come on! Roast me! Hmm? Give me a drubbing! Frank, start. Be funny.
Uh, it's not really my thing, Chief.
Oh, so, what? You don't think I can take it?
No, it's just not my style. I mean, I can. Uh, the thing about Logan Roy is... T-- uh, the thing about Logan is he's a tough old nut. [laughs]
Oh, Christ. Sid fucking Caesar. Greggy.
You're mean. [clears throat] You're mean. You're a mean, old man. You're-- you're a mean, old bastard. Uh, and you scare the life out of folks. That's your thing. You're scaring me right now. And-- and that's why I don't even know how-- what to do.
Who wants to smell Greg's finger. Hey? Guess the scent, win a buck.
[Greg chuckles softly]
Come on, roast me!
Where are your kids? Where's all your kids, Uncle Logan? On your big birthday?
Well, where's your old man, huh? Where's your old man? Still sucking cock at the county fair?
[Greg exhales sharply and smirks]
Gerri, been sent anything funny lately?
All a bit horrible for me. Thanks, Logan.
I'm not being horrible. I'm being fun. Fucking Munsters.
[whispers] Okay, so what's happening? What's happening?
[whispers] Okay, so he's still just kinda walking around, but with a slight sense that he might kill someone. It's like Jaws. If-- if everyone in Jaws worked for Jaws.
Con, what do you want?
I'll just have whatever a regular Joe would have. Just, uh, Belgian Weissbier. Not Hoegaarden, ideally.
This is an incredibly delicate piece of diplomacy, Greg. Okay? It's like... Israel-Palestine, except harder and much more important.
You're such fucking dopes. You're not serious figures. I love you... but you are not... [sighs] ...serious people.
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