Kendall Roy quotes from Succession

Kendall Roy

So, I just wanted to get the gang together early in my tenure to say, uh, "Yo."

Kendall Roy

Jesus, Roman, you're a walking fucking lawsuit.

You get the message?

Kendall Roy

What?

I'm not letting you Neanderthals in to rape my company. Ever.

Kendall Roy

I'm sorry?

You're a bunch of bloated dinosaurs who didn't even notice the monkeys swinging by until yesterday. Well, fuck you, daddy's boy.

Do you wanna call your dad?

Kendall Roy

Do I wanna call my dad? No, I don't wanna call my dad. Do you wanna call your dad?

Kendall Roy

I wasn't about to get into a fucking big dick competition, okay?

Logan Roy

I hear you bent for him.

Kendall Roy

Wha... I what?

Logan Roy

I hear you bent for him, and he fucked you.

Kendall Roy

Well, no, actually.

Logan Roy

You know, I know that you've read a lot of books about business management and this and that, but you know what?

Kendall Roy

What?

Logan Roy

Sometimes, it is a big dick competition.

Logan Roy

It's my fucking company.

Kendall Roy

Yeah you're right, it is your fucking company. And you know what? You're running it into the fucking ground.

Roman Roy

Dad made me COO.

Kendall Roy

I don't think so, dude. Dad wasn't thinking straight.

Roman Roy

I think he was.

Kendall Roy

You? The Chief Operating Officer?

Roman Roy

Yep.

Kendall Roy

I mean if that wasn't a sign he was loco in the coco, I don't know what it is.

Shiv Roy

I mean, we have options.

Kendall Roy

Sure... You could all ask for morphine, so you can stay in your painless fucking fantasy world where the orchids dance and the company is run by a magical fucking unicorn!

Kendall Roy

What do you... What do you have against me?

Shiv Roy

Nothing.

Kendall Roy

Nothing?

Shiv Roy

Oh, you want me to actually say?

Kendall Roy

Yes, I do.

Shiv Roy

You lack killer instinct, you're wet, you're green, you're intellectually insecure-

Kendall Roy

Bullshit.

Shiv Roy

-You're not emotionally strong enough, you have addiction issues!

Kendall Roy

That's enough!

Shiv Roy

I don't think all that, I'm just trying to be Dad's voice.

Connor Roy

I'm not saying I would make a better CEO, that's unsaid.

Kendall Roy

It's not unsaid when you say it.

Connor Roy

No, I'm saying I'm not saying it, so, in fact, it is unsaid.

Kendall Roy

Hey, pal, why don't you go help Willa with her homework?

Connor Roy

Ouch, asshole.

Gerri Kellman

Hey. We're down two more points.

Kendall Roy

Fuck.

Gerri Kellman

Listen, Sandy Furness is here.

Kendall Roy

What do you mean?

Gerri Kellman

I mean he's here, in the building.

Kendall Roy

He can't do that. Fucking Pepsi doesn't just drop in to see Coke.

Kendall Roy

You know sometimes when you leave the party and you wonder what everyone's saying about you?

Roman Roy

With me it's usually "Who's that young Han Solo and how do I get his dick in my ass?"

Frank Vernon

You sure it was him?

Kendall Roy

You think a lot of people come in here and take a piss?

Gerri Kellman

Maybe someone spilled something.

Kendall Roy

Yeah, maybe the massive fucking ice sculpture I forgot about melted. It's urine.

Roman Roy

This isn't a false flag, is it? Did you piss on your own floor?

Kendall Roy

Why are you looking like that? W-what if people knew? Gerri, you gotta talk to him.

Gerri Kellman

What do you want me to say?

Roman Roy

Well, first tell him where to go pee pee and poo poo.

Kendall Roy

He came in, he was talking to Stewy. What's he gonna do next, start jizzing in my coffee? Take a dump on my iPad?

Frank Vernon

Ever hear of loyalty?

Kendall Roy

Sure. Wasn't he one of the seven dwarves? No?

Frank Vernon

Oh...

Kendall Roy

Oh, he's a rapper. He was in Wu-Tang?

Kendall Roy

Can I count on your vote for team future?

I can promise you that I am spiritually and emotionally and ethically and morally behind whoever wins.