Succession · Season 1
You get the message?
What?
I'm not letting you Neanderthals in to rape my company. Ever.
I'm sorry?
You're a bunch of bloated dinosaurs who didn't even notice the monkeys swinging by until yesterday. Well, fuck you, daddy's boy.
Do you wanna call your dad?
Do I wanna call my dad? No, I don't wanna call my dad. Do you wanna call your dad?
Oh, we're not surprising him, are we? Oh, this is- Oh, he's gonna love this. I think the last time I surprised him he took a swing at me.
[receiving a gift from Connor] Oh, wonderful. What is it?
Well...
Oh yes, yes, it's a goo. It's a fucking goo?
It's perfect.
It's sourdough starter. I thought that you might like to make something.
Ohh... great.
Yeah, okay. You shouldn't have opened it. Never mind. Forget it. It was an idea. I thought you might like it.
I do, I do. I just don't know what the fuck it is!
I wasn't about to get into a fucking big dick competition, okay?
I hear you bent for him.
Wha... I what?
I hear you bent for him, and he fucked you.
Well, no, actually.
You know, I know that you've read a lot of books about business management and this and that, but you know what?
What?
Sometimes, it is a big dick competition.
It's my fucking company.
Yeah you're right, it is your fucking company. And you know what? You're running it into the fucking ground.
Dad made me COO.
I don't think so, dude. Dad wasn't thinking straight.
I think he was.
You? The Chief Operating Officer?
Yep.
I mean if that wasn't a sign he was loco in the coco, I don't know what it is.
I mean, we have options.
Sure... You could all ask for morphine, so you can stay in your painless fucking fantasy world where the orchids dance and the company is run by a magical fucking unicorn!
What do you... What do you have against me?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Oh, you want me to actually say?
Yes, I do.
You lack killer instinct, you're wet, you're green, you're intellectually insecure-
Bullshit.
-You're not emotionally strong enough, you have addiction issues!
That's enough!
I don't think all that, I'm just trying to be Dad's voice.
I'm not saying I would make a better CEO, that's unsaid.
It's not unsaid when you say it.
No, I'm saying I'm not saying it, so, in fact, it is unsaid.
Hey, pal, why don't you go help Willa with her homework?
Ouch, asshole.
So, I just wanted to get the gang together early in my tenure to say, uh, "Yo."
Shakin' the tree, folks. Shakin' the tree. Excuse me. Greg. Are you kidding?
Hey, Tom.
Forgive me, but uh... We talkin' to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather bitten face? No? Then why the fuck are you wearing a pair of deck shoes, man?
Oh... Yeah... No, well my credit card got maxed out, I'm staying in a youth hostel on, like, $80 a day.
Jesus. How squalid. Dude, are you carrying dog shit?
No... No, it's uh... It's free, right? Is that cool? I mean, I don't want to be melodramatic, but my body is growing weak due to a lack of sustenance.
(bewildered) But in a dog poop baggie?
Yeah, I have a bunch of 'em from back home...
Greg, that's disgusting.
Not really. It's not like they pre-poop them or something, like, it's not like... They're just bags, really. It's just a mental barrier.
Hey. We're down two more points.
Fuck.
Listen, Sandy Furness is here.
What do you mean?
I mean he's here, in the building.
He can't do that. Fucking Pepsi doesn't just drop in to see Coke.
You know sometimes when you leave the party and you wonder what everyone's saying about you?
With me it's usually "Who's that young Han Solo and how do I get his dick in my ass?"
I just hope the seating plan holds. If it does... look out, Middle East, 'cause I can fix anything.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Succession pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
