15 minutes goes by without me hearing from you, I'm driving over there with a police escort.
Where're you getting a police escort from?
I will commit a crime and lead them on a high speed chase if I have to; I am not kidding around!
All S1
S1 E20K & R Part II
The doctor's giving my mother a sedative called Atrividium
BCaptain Boyle
Yeah.
My father's taking shots of a sedative called Johnny Walker Red.
You're engaged?
Yeah
And there's a baby?
Yeah
Because like an hour ago none of this was true.
Yeah, things are moving fast tonight.
S1 E21K & R Part III
You know, I remember a few days after the mega phone thing at ground zero I was at the Writers' Guild and people were talking about what a seminal moment that was, and while people were talking about what a great leader he had become in that moment I was thinking, "Gee, what I saw was a guy getting an alley-oop pass from a heckler." A guy from off camera shouted, 'we can't hear you' and Bush shouted back, 'well I can hear you and soon the people that knocked these towers down will hear all of us.' Not a bad come back, but, it didn't strike me as a Saint Crispen's Day speech or anything. But I didn't say anything because I was scared and I've been scared for 5 weeks and that's too long for a grown man.
How is it possible that at a time when the entire country is completely in line, including the two of us, that... how is it possible that people are so offended by a thoroughly benign sketch?! Is true patriotism really that fragile that it can be threatened by a late night comedy show?!
What are you doing?
Cheering you up with a little Holly Hunter.
Yeah?
It's what I'm here for.
How is it no one's ever hit you in the head with a potato?
I duck and weave, baby.
S1 E22What Kind of Day Has It Been
Matthew, don't take this the wrong way, but I love you.
Okay.
Did you take it the wrong way?
I took it to mean you're gay and you want me.
Good.
I love you too, brother.
You kept that from me?
When you're high, you keep it from everyone. (Harry hits him) Ow.
Not me. Never me. I'm the one person.
Ok.
I'm the one person, always.
Any chance you've calmed down?
I'm completely calm.
You'll read a statement of apology?
I said I was calm, Jack. I didn't say my spine had become detached from my brain.
I think your brain has become detached from your brain.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.