Strangers with Candy · Season 2
Hello, ladies, what are you doing?
We were just wondering why you'd come talk to us.
I want to know what plans you have for Fri-Sat-Sund.
Well, first we're going to avoid you. Then after that we thought we'd shun you and then we're going to a party. Hey! Why don't you not come with us!
Oh Jerri, I didn't know you were coming home this early. We would've left sooner.
Where are we going?
Well, if by "we" you mean Derrick and I, the answer is a family getaway to Good Time Island!
[excited] Good Time Island?!
Oh, did I remember not to tell you?
Check it out, troll--An all-access pass with full release!
I'll go pack my things!
Oh, I'm sorry, Jerri, you know the car only has room for four and we already have two. Oh and if you get hungry later, um, eat something.
[Jerri is puzzling over what to do next.]
I know! I'll feed my baby... Oh, that's right. My baby's an imaginary creation to fight the ravages of loneliness.
My name's Rebecca. What's yours, Jerri?
Jerri. What's yours, Rebecca?
Rebecca.
What kind of place is this?
Oh, it's just a collective cooperative community service operation outreach program project.
Okay, as long as you’re not a cult.
So where are we? I must've fallen asleep after you slipped me those pills and put on that blindfold.
Maybe I should head home.
Home to what, Jerri? A family that doesn't care and friends who don't love you?
Well, technically, it's my friends who don't care and my family that doesn't love me.
I wanna go home!
Fine. You're not a prisoner here. There are no bars on our electrified fences. We don't have attack dogs in our alligator-infested swamps surrounding this compound.
[Noblet attempts to infiltrate the cult to gain information on where Jerri is.]
[casually] So, what are you selling here?
Flowers. Do you need someone to love you?
[breaking down instantly] Oh God, yes, desperately! I'm so lonely!
Would you like to come with us?
I'll go anywhere you want and do anything you say! Just love me. Oh, I should tell you, I'm a plant. They're watching us. [points to where Blackman, Jellineck and Orlando are hiding] We're looking for Jerri. I'm her teacher and that's her principal - they don't know anything about love.
I don't think you can come with us.
What? No! Please! I need you!
[yelling] Noblet! What are you doing?!
I'm sorry. I just wasn't prepared for that kind of onslaught.
In order to enhance your individuality to conformity, I'm instituting a dress code based on your own requests that I imagine you would have requested had I asked for your requests.
I poisoned all the grain and the water. We'll be ready to kill ourselves when the devil's henchmen come on the day of judgement.
But that's the only food we have! What are we supposed to eat now?!
All the other only food we have.
Mrs. Blank, I think it's time someone who truly loves her try to reach her.
No, I think I should.
[Jellineck attempts to deprogram Jerri.]
Hey, Jerri! I know you're in there. Listen, I have no idea what you went through. I don't have any answers, I'm not acting in your best interests. Why won't you trust me?
I wanna go back! Those people care about me!
Yes, maybe that's true. But do they care about me? I don't think so. Do you see the flaw in your logic now?
No.
Agh! I can't reach her! She's lost in some frightening world that isn't centered around me!
Perhaps Chuck could get through to her. He was in the cult for 45 seconds, he knows.
I'll try, but we'll need to be alone.
All right, everybody out.
[Everybody else exits, leaving Noblet alone with Jerri.]
Thank you. Thank you. [waits until everybody has left, then turns quickly to Jerri] Okay, Jerri, let's go!
Where?
[tugging on her arm] Back to the cult!
How?
[opening the furnace] Through the furnace and then out through the air shaft!
We'll burn to death!
Father will protect us! Where is your faith, woman?!
Greeks are just Jews without the money.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Strangers with Candy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
