[laughing at the Crystal Gems' failure to capture the gem tongue monster] That was terrible!
Pearl[offended] This is harder than it looks, you know!
How could you all be outsmarted by that thing?
Pearl
Well, first, it ran over Garnet, and then Amethyst tried to use her-
Pearl, we don't need the play by play. Mistakes happen, even when you can see the future.
Yeah, Peridot. Let's see you do better.
Well, I saved all your butts from Jasper. I suppose I could help you here, too.
And then we go into the tricks.
All right. But I really think we should save the dog walker for next time.
This is our first impression. We gotta go big. And we should go soon, too, before they get suspicious.
Pearl
Those two are acting very suspicious. [to Garnet] Should we ask them what's going on?
[Pearl's aggressive driving draws the attention of a police car]
Pearl
[gasps] What do I do?!
You have to pull over to the side and show them your license.
Pearl
I don't have a license!
[chuckles uneasily] Oh, right.
Steven But... but you're old!
Pearl
What was I supposed to tell the DMV? That I'm from another planet?! I'm not exactly a citizen, Steven!
[After a moment's thought, Pearl narrows her eyes, steps on the gas, speeds past the "mystery woman" and turns up the radio. Amethyst cheers, while Steven becomes more worried]
Pearl, you can't just drive away! This is serious!
Pearl, you're a total bad-- [is cut off by the screeching tyres as Pearl makes a sharp turn]
Pearl
This is why we buckle up.
[Steven, Amethyst and Pearl are walking alongside the road. Pearl stops abruptly]
Pearl
I can't believe this.
Pearl
I was so ready! I really wanted to see your Krol.
What are you talking about?
Pearl
[throws her jacket on the ground and struggles to get out of her jeans] I was going to drink a juice and wear these...ugh... pants! [falls over] ..And... [grunts] hit people gently enough as to not actually hurt them, and you'd say, "Wow, Pearl is really cool!" But nooo, instead, we drove to loud music... [throws off her jeans] chased a mysterious woman into the night and broke the law. [groans] I've lost my edge. I should have stayed home with the puzzle.
[Steven and Amethyst turn to each other]
Listen to yourself. You're so hardcore! Who cares about pants? You gunned it from the cops!
That's the most scared I've been since you almost let me die! You're a criminal now!
Pearl
Now? [gets up on her feet, grinning] I've been a criminal for 6,000 years.
Pearl
So Andy, we heard you like marriage, so we thought: why don't we all marry each other?!
[Peridot is holding a wedding cake with multiple figurines]
[Andy looks uneasy]
Pearl
And if that's not human enough for you, we can throw in a little being born, and some dying!
[Garnet holds a balloon with "It's a Boy" printed on it, and Lapis gives Andy a headstone with "RIP Andy" on it]
[cheerful] We're very sorry for your marriage.
Yo, Greg, check it out! We brought gifts for Little Rose.
Amethyst, we've gone over this. Steven is a--
[closes the door as the Gems enter the house] Can I get you guys anything? We've got water, old plates, uh… How about some tea.
Pearl
No. We're just here to drop off these gifts.
These gifts are great, but Steven's just too young for this stuff. Nowadays he's really into this. [swinging a keychain carabiner] [singing] Carabiner! Carabiner! [Baby Steven laughs]
Whoa, he loves it! [takes the carabiner, swings it] Hey, 'lil Steven!
Pearl
Hm, he's certainly captivated with those things.
Well, next time, we'll just bring a big box of keys for Steven.
[Baby Steven's gem glows]
Pearl
Wha?!
Pearl
Is that possible?
Is he gonna turn into a laser?!
Relax, y'all. I got it all figured out. Rose is trying to shapeshift back to her old self.
Pearl
She can't shapeshift because she's trapped in a baby!
Pearl
[to Baby Steven's gem] Rose? Rose, it's me, Pearl. Are you in there? Glow twice for yes. [Baby Steven grabs Pearl's nose] Baby, please. I'm trying to talk to Rose.
Pearl
We can all see her. She's right there! She just can't reform because... she has this... baby around her. Rose, I know you're in there. I can let you out. We'll be... together... again. [reaches out her hand, ready to pull out Rose's gem out of Baby Steven's navel and Baby Steven suddenly starts giggling; startled] I can't. [begins tearing up] I can't! She wanted this so much… I just don't understand why. "Everything should grow, and everything should change, and isn't it so great how it comes so naturally to humans?" Well, it's not natural for us! It's not natural... for me.
[After a somber silence…]
This isn't about Rose. From now on, everything has to be about Steven.
[shows Buddy Budwick's journal to the Gems] Hey, do you know anything about this thing? [Amethyst takes a closer look]
Hmm. Steven, you deserve to know the truth. And the truth is... I have no idea what that thing is, I've never seen it before in my life.
Pearl
Excuse me, Amethyst, allow me. [sees illustration of the Palanquin] Uh, well... it appears to be an illustration in some kind of journal.
C'mon, you know what I mean. I had a dream where I saw this thing. Connie and I were wondering if maybe...
Pearl
[stammers] S-Steven, why don't you and Connie— [Garnet interrupts her]
You can't go there! [everyone stares at Garnet for a beat]
[shady] Yeah, why not? [Garnet hesitates. Steven sighs and closes the journal]
I thought you were going to tell me everything from now on.
Pearl
Oh, Steven... we—
[points Palanquin illustration] Does this have anything to do with Pink Diamond?! I already know Mom shattered her, so what is it about this that you can't tell me?! [Pearl winces to Garnet]
Please! You're making Pearl very upset.
No! I'm very upset! [Connie and Amethyst back away]
We're--not--going. Rose never wanted you to see this place.
"Rose wanted..." [growls] What about what I want?! [points at Garnet] I'm sick of everyone lying to me! Rose is my mom! Out of anyone! Don't I deserve to know the truth?! [Amethyst offers a box of popcorn to Connie, who declines]
I don't care!! I wanna go there now!!
I'm sorry... I... I shouldn't have brought the book.
Yes, you should've brought it. It's lucky something has some information that I don't have to get out of them!!! Connie, I need to borrow this book.
That's right! Pink Diamond's insidious human zoo.
During her reign on Earth, Pink Diamond stole humans from their families as trophies of her conquest.
Pearl
Oh, no. It was very serious. When I still served… Homeworld, I saw it myself. A private menagerie deep in space. Humans in captivity. We were never able to rescue them. We had no way to get to them after the war. But, that was over 5,000 years ago.
Uhh, Why do you guys look like that?
The gravity warp seems to be affecting our bodies.
Please tell me this lasts forever.
Pearl
Our bodies are made of light, and usually they form a mass dependent on the air pressure and the level of gravity in the environment. But we're in a situation where the normal laws of physics don't apply.
Pearl
In what way is this funny?!
So, you guys aren't doing this on purpose? Can't you shapeshift back?
Hold on. [hapeshifts into Purple Puma] Huh, check it out. Puma cub.
The ship seems to be putting out some kind of energy, keeping us in this shape.
[turns to the control panel] Oh, I know the problem!
Pearl
You do?
Peridot said the ship was calibrated for Rubies. It must be making you all Ruby-sized.
Pearl
Ugh! Why doesn't she tell us anything? This is why we don't listen to her.
Pearl
The human zoo. I can't believe it still exists.
Dad's gotta be in there. We just have to find him and bust him out.
[The Roaming Eye enters the zoo hangar and they see two Amethyst guards in front of the entrance]
Pearl
Amethyst guards. Right, like we could just waltz up as an ownerless Pearl, a fusion and- and you.
We just need disguises. I'll be Esteban Universedad!
Pearl
Steven, it doesn't matter what your name is. We're all going to stand out!
[Garnet defuses, separating into Ruby and Sapphire]
We won't stand out if we play the roles we were made for.
Okay, everybody. Hear her out.
Today, I'm a Sapphire traveling with my Ruby guard…
Pearl
Mm-hmm.
Esteban, I've brought you as an offering for the Zoo.
You're accompanying me as extra muscle.
[points to the Amethyst guards at the entrance] Muscle like them?
But I've never even seen another Amethyst before. What do I do? What if I say something wrong?
Just look the part. You're new and we're rusty, but we just have to sell this long enough to find Greg.
Pearl
Is this really going to work?
No. [they all gasp] Just… stick together. Play it straight! Let's… change the future! [smiles crookedly]
[as Steven, Greg, and the Crystal Gems try to stealthily file past her] It's a shame, though. This outpost is so remote, I was beginning to think we'd been forgotten. But we haven't! Two diamonds, one day! What an honor! I don't think anything can spoil this for me! [turns and catches the group frozen while boarding the Roaming Eye] What… is… THE MEANING OF THIS?! [the Quartz soldiers appear to watch in the doorway watching behind her] Why are these two outside the containment area?!
Holly Blue, I can explain…
No need, your Clarity. Not even you could have forseen how incompetent these Amethysts are. Well, if you want something done right... [summons an electrified whip from her gem in the back of her head] you just do it yourself. [to Steven and Greg] You two are coming with me! [swings her electric whip at the, but Sapphire and Ruby fuse into Garnet and catch it, stunning her and the Quartz soldiers]
SGSteven and Greg
Garnet!
Steven, get Greg on board.
[Pearl severs Holly Blue Agate's whip. Amethyst catches it and wraps her up with it to the amusement of the Quartz soldiers]
[approaches Holly Blue Agate, summons her right gauntlet] I've been waiting to do this all day... [hits Holly Blue Agate with her left hand, knocking her down]
[to the Quartz soldiers laughing at her] What are you doing?! They're traitors! Destroy them!
[kisses and waves to the Quartz soldiers] Famethyst for life!
[as the whip fades] I'll report you to the Diamonds! All of you! You'll all be shattered!
Pearl
You're really going to tell the Diamonds that you allowed a band of traitorous rebels to infiltrate a highly secure facility and escape from right under your careful watch? [inhales sharply] Doesn't sound like a wise thing to do, Holly Blue. So do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut. That will be all.
[Holly Blue groans in misery while the Quartz soldiers wave their goodbyes to the Crystal Gems as they take off and leave the zoo]
Thanks so much for coming to get me. That has to be, like, the third craziest weekend I've ever had.
Dad, I'm really sorry I got you into all this. This whole thing started 'cause… I wanted answers.
You don't have to be sorry about a thing. I hope you found what you were looking for.
Steven Universe · 493 quotes
